


My Bad Luck and The Alien Boy

by AhogeAdventures



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 66,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12084105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AhogeAdventures/pseuds/AhogeAdventures
Summary: Nagito witnesses a meteorite crash down on the ocean bed one night and finds a brown-haired boy washed up on the beach the next day. With no clue on how the boy ended up there, Nagito concludes him to be an alien that had something to do with the crash.Little does he know, the alien boy, that came crashing down into his life, will shake his entire view on his own existence.





	1. Space Rock

**Author's Note:**

> Full Summary:
> 
> Nagito Komaeda believes his life to be nothing but a chain of bad luck.
> 
> Nagito lost his parents at a very young age. He is always targeted by the school bullies. He is considered, by many, as the island’s loner. The only person who was ever close to him was his twin-sister Chiaki, but he feels their relationship can never be the same way like it used to be.
> 
> One night, Nagito witnesses a meteorite crashing on the ocean bed. He goes to investigate, but does not find anything out of the ordinary. Until the next day, he finds a brown-haired boy washed up on Jabberwock beach. Nagito suspects he had something to do with the meteorite crashing, and concludes him to be an extra terrestrial being. 
> 
> Little does he know, the alien boy, that came crashing down into his life, will change it’s course forever.
> 
> Will he still be strangled by the chain of bad luck? Or will the alien boy break him free from it’s suffocating hold?

———

If someone walked up to me and asked me on how my life was going, I would give them a smile and say “Perfect.”

I enter my class. The clock’s hands are right on the dot. Everyone stops what they’re doing and their eyes are now set on me. I walk to my seat and each person I pass, greets me with a cheer and a look of admiration. 

“Hey Nagito! How’s it going?” one of them asks. I give him a smile and pause before giving my response. Beads of sweat runs down his face as he waits in anticipation for what I’m about to say. I finally part my lips and say “Same old.” I notice he can’t respond. An expression of awe was displayed across his face as if he just had a conversation with a god. I roll my eyes and leave. 

Typical.

As I continue walking, I hear girls at the back of the classroom whisper to each other “Nagito looks extra hot today!” they twirl their hair with their fingers and I hear them giggle. 

I see my empty chair and my boyfriend is seated right next to it. “You’re finally here!, I’ve missed you!” he greets me with longing in his eyes. He stands up and I give him a little peck on the lips. I answer him back with an “I’ve missed you too Makoto.” He smiles a goofy smile and sits back down with a dizzy and dreamy look to his eyes.

I can still feel him staring at me as I plop my book down on my armchair, and take a seat.  
And just like always, our professor enters the classroom, right on cue.

He greets us with excitement and enthusiasm radiating from his voice.

He then proceeds to open the class with a question. “So now, who can tell me—“ and before he finishes, I raise my hand.  
“Yes Mr. Komaeda?” he says.

I stand up with oozing confidence. All my classmates’s eyes are glued on me, and I answer without missing a beat, “The answer is 24.”

The class erupts with amazement. I look around to see everyone’s shock and now ecstatic mood. I fix my gaze back at our math professor, and I catch him wiping a tear from his eye. “That’s impressive Mr. Komaeda. That is exactly right.” he says.

“He isn’t just a pretty face! He has brains too!”

“You did it again Nagito!”

“I wish I were you!”

“You’ve got it all, man!”I hear comments and praises coming from every corner of the room. Not a single soul was quiet. I sit back down like it’s no big deal and wait for all the cheers to die down.

“Mr. Komaeda.”

Yup, that’s how my life goes every single day.

“Mr. Komaeda!”

Lady Luck has bestowed me with such a great life.

“Mr. Komaeda!”

I bet everyone else’s life is dead-boring compared to mine.

“I said, Mr Komaeda!”

I snap out of my daydreaming and look to the person calling out my name. Our math professor, Mr Gozu (a.k.a The Great Gozu), is steaming in anger. 

Literally.

Steam is coming out from his bull mask nostrils. 

Yep… a bull mask—a bull mask that no one has dared to question why he bothers wearing it to class.

Sometimes I ask myself how he ended up as our math professor. With a body as hard as Monokuma Rock, and with the past record of a legendary, heavy-weight champion of the world in pro-wrestling, he should have been hired as our physical ed instructor instead of that lanky, lazy-ass, alcoholic, Mr. Kizakura who sips bourbon in class when he thinks no one is looking.

“Explain yourself! For the third time, you sit in my class with wet hair like you’ve just gone fresh out of a swimming session!” He booms. “We are in the middle of the island and we don’t even have a swimming pool in this school!”

I flinch at the loudness of his voice.

“Not only that but you're getting your desk wet and you’re distracting the rest of the class!” Mr Gozu’s mask’s eyes are glowing a dangerous bright red.

I continue sitting down and say nothing as I face my shoes in embarrassment. It’s not like I can explain. 

The people who have been bullying me the past years, dunked my head in the toilet, just moments ago before math class started, just because they though it was funny, just because I was an easy target, just because they know that I’m nothing special. 

If I tell Mr. Gozu it was they who did it, then that would just backfire and they’d bully me even more.

Who the hell even knows what they would do next?

I hear snickers from some of my fellow classmates. Some of it I recognize--most of it were coming from the guys.

Mr Gozu shakes his head. “Just go to the principal’s office.” he points his finger to the door and I follow his order.

Yep… my life is just perfect… It’s just one big story of how the universe -- or whoever the person is in charge of bad luck -- can possibly make my existence worse, as each day passes by.

I move through the halls leaving a trail of toilet water behind me like a crawling slimy slug on a hot day. 

I peak in the Principal’s office as soon as I reach it. I see the old man looking at an astronomy magazine with wide eyes and a blush on his cheeks like he’s looking at a freshly printed piece of porno. 

Well, it’s common for him to be wearing an expression of euphoria while reading the latest printed issue of Space and Beyond Magazine. He’s a man with a passion for space after all. 

He flips through another page, eyes still goggling over the print.

I cough to grab his attention as I enter the familiar room. I sit on the chair in front of his desk and eye the gold plaque sitting on the expensive dark wood. It read, Headmaster. Kazuo Tengan, written in fancy jet-black calligraphy.

Looking around the room and at the old, but well maintained furniture gives me memories of when I was young. I’ve been hanging around here a lot since I was a kid. 

I knew the old man since I was seven years old after all. He was the one who took care of my sister and I since our parent’s couldn’t be with us any longer. Up to this day he’s been guiding us and providing for us with things that we can’t provide yet for ourselves: giving us a place to stay, putting food on the table, and giving us an opportunity to study in his high school, the Island’s only academy, Hope’s Peak Academy. 

Even though I’m grateful for everything he’s been doing for my sister and I, I don’t get along with him that much. Yeah, I mean, he respects me and I respect him, it’s just that, I don’t really open up to him. Well, I don’t really open up to anyone. We just don’t see eye to eye at times.

He puts his magazine down and looks at me with no surprise. He removes his glasses and wipes it with a piece of cloth while giving out a deep sigh. 

“Nagito, if you are to never defend yourself, how do you expect things to change?” he says with a cool and relaxed reserve. He puts his glasses back on and looks at me with sympathy.

I hate it when he gives me that look. It gives me the feeling that I’m like a helpless puppy who can’t fend for himself.

He may know what I’ve been through but he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get what it’s like to live in a constant state of bad-luck that can get worse with every move I make. He doesn’t get how no one would ever want to be with someone like me.

If I’d try to do something to counter the bad luck, it would hit me back with a more powerful blow— probably a knockout punch if I’m not careful.

Instead of answering the old man, I choose to do, what I do best: I look at my feet and decide to ignore his question.

He stands and grabs a clean towel from his washroom and hands it to me. “You know, maybe if you tried to talk to people and put effort into making friends, then you wouldn’t be constantly bullied by your peers.” he adds to the long list of advices he’s given me since the day he met me.

I just roll my eyes at the comment in my mind. I take the towel and wipe my face. 

Believe me, I’ve tried making friends all my life but everyone I spoke to thought I was weird. I don’t blame them though. I am nothing but a piece of trash after all.

“I’ll tell Gozu, this is your last warning.” he says. “If this happens again, I have no choice but to give you detention” He adds with strictness to his voice. 

I say nothing, I continue to look down and just circle my right foot on the carpeted floor.

“If this is the only way for you to learn how to defend yourself, then so be it.” He continues adding a tinge of care to his voice this time. He places a hand on my shoulder with concern in his eyes. 

My shoulder automatically lowers from the touch to avoid contact. 

He coughs. “Well, go along then, we can’t have your grades drop.” He picks the magazine back up and continues reading. I look at the cover of the magazine he’s reading, I scan through the headers and something catches my eye. U.F.O. sightings around the world. It sounds interesting, but he would probably read the article for a good laugh. Anyway, he is probably reading about stars again.

He sure does love the stars.

I hate the stars!

I wash up in his washroom and leave the office without saying a single word.

———

My legs are dangling on the school rooftop’s edge. I alternate on kicking each of my leg to the air as I look to the distance. The salty wind blows against my cheeks, my white hair dances with the breeze. I pop a lollipop into my mouth and my tastebuds rejoice to the heavens as the sweetness floods it.

_Mmm. Strawberry._

I don't really care much for sweets but these strawberry flavored lollipops just hit the right spots for me.

Every time the school day ends, I sit here alone and spend the time watching the setting sun. 

I enjoy moments like these. It feels like the bad luck can’t reach me from up here. I feel safe, there’s no one here to hurt me or ruin the rest of my day.

I hear the voices of students die down, and I look below me to see if it’s safe enough for me to reach home without seeing anyone I know. When the path looks clear, I grab my backpack and walk to the doors and take the stairs to reach the school entrance. 

Most of the time, I walk home alone, not waiting for Uncle Tengan. Yup. Uncle. Chiaki and I call him Uncle not because he is blood related, but because he is a close family friend. Our parents worked for him a long time ago; hence, the reason why he felt like he had the responsibility to take care of us when they left.

As my shoes touch the dirt road a past memory floods my mind. Nostalgia fills my entirety, a vivid vision plays in my mind like a 90’s video tape being played on a fat, square television box. It’s a vision of a seven year old me holding hands with my family, taking a family walk. Holding my left hand is my Dad, who has a proud look on his face and to my right is Chiaki. She is holding our Mom’s hand with her right hand. I look at my sister with a wide grin on my face and she mirrors my joy back to me with her own smile.

I feel a hot tear running down my right cheek, causing me to pull back from the memory. I wipe it off with my thumb and look at the sky. The deep orange color is still bright. At any moment now the stars would show up and mock me, so I hurry my footsteps with my head hanging low, looking down as my shoes leave prints on the ground.

 

———

 

Hours pass, and the night has arrived. I’m sitting in my room, reading journal entries that I’ve written for the past years. The desk lamp illuminates the pages as I take in every word and smile at them. It’s nice re-living the past.

My happy trail of thoughts are snatched away from me when I hear Uncle Tengan call my name. I go to our small dining room and I see him setting down a plate of steaming, hot curry.

“It’s time for dinner.” He announces. “Go call your sister.”

I nod at him and walk back upstairs to call her. I knock lightly at her door and then proceed to open it. It is dark inside. I see her face, only because it’s illuminated by a blue tint of light that the PSP is giving off. There are deep dark bags under her eyes. She looks pale and a little too skinny. 

This gives me a jolt of sadness run through me. The very person who I’m looking at right now isn’t the sister who I used to spend my life with. She was somehow replaced by someone who exactly looks like her. Now I only feel a mix of pity and anger every time I look at her.

“It’s time for dinner Chiaki.” I call.

She doesn’t respond and only shifts her body to the side so I can’t see her face. I close the door and head back down to eat.

I sigh. She always does that. She’s always glued to any gaming device that she owns, whether it’s her phone or the PS3 or the DS or whatever she can get her hands on.

“Chiaki’s not joining us for dinner again?” Uncle Tengan asks me as he puts a spoonful of curry to his mouth.

I do the same and give of a nod as a response.

He sighs after he swallows the food. “I’m worried about the both of you.” He looks at me in the eyes and he pauses for a bit. 

I just swing my legs under the table and stare at my food as I continue chewing. I wait for whatever he is about to say next.

“You two can’t keep living like this.” He continues. “What would happen to both of you if you guys were to be all alone?” 

Alone.

Alone? What did he mean? I’ve been alone my whole life. Everyone I cared about left me. My parents, our pet dog and now… Chiaki. People can be right beside me but they are never truly with me.

I grip my fork a little too hard and notice my knuckles getting paler. I can feel my whole arm shaking. The table shakes with me. I force myself to stop shaking with all my might.

He continues on eating dinner without saying another word and I do too. I’m thankful for that. 

The room fills with a feeling of awkwardness but this isn’t new. It happens a lot in this household.

I take another bite at my curry and I look to my side where Chiaki was supposed to be sitting. 

When Uncle Tengan finishes he tells me to pack the food and put it in the refrigerator for Chiaki to heat up later, if she changes her mind. He doesn’t say anything else as he enters his room.

I do what he says and wash the dishes and clean up. I bolt back up to my room as soon as I finish. I wash up and change with the speed of light.

I plop back down to my chair and open my journal to the next blank page. I start off by writing today’s date, 24 September 2014. I continue on, by writing on how my day went with full on speed but being careful not to miss any important part or detail. I’m surprised the paper doesn’t catch on fire.

As soon as I’m done, I stretch my body and lay back into the comfort of the chair with my face looking up to the ceiling, satisfied with my accomplishment. I close my eyes shut for a few seconds and rub my temples in the process as I try to forget the bad things of today.

Minutes later, my eyes blink open and I notice a bright green glow seeping through the curtains that is right beside my bed. I draw the curtains immediately, curious to what was causing the glow that disrupted my rest seconds ago. 

I lean out my window and take a glimpse at the sky. There’s a glowing green orb in the distance that’s leaving a trail of green clouds. It looks like a green line drawn by the heavens to split the sky down the middle. 

Is it a meteor?

It brightens up as it continues getting closer to the surface of the ocean, looking similar to the sun, only that it’s shining down on the island in the night sky and only lasting for quite a few seconds. I watch in amazement, my fingers pressing against the wood of the window ledge. 

I see it land far into the ocean and a big BOOM follows and echoes throughout the whole island. The whole ocean eats the orb.

No, it’s a meteorite.

I could feel my bedroom’s floor shake beneath my feet. I grip the sides of my window for support until the shaking stops.

I rush out of my room and head into the streets with only my pajamas on. I bolt towards the beach with wonder, and a sort of panic. 

This is dangerous, it may be life threatening… But who cares? My life sucks anyways. I had nothing to live for.

I reach the sands and I watch the waves hit the shore. They’re bigger than usual, but they are no near dangerous. A crash like that would have caused a huge tsunami by now that could engulf the whole island, but there’s still no sign of a big one. 

I wait, wait and wait for something to happen. 

I hope that the ocean could eat this whole island away. I’m tired of how people treat me. I’m tired of what life had to give me. 

Can’t I just rest?

I sit on the sand hugging my knees, my eyes never leaving the ocean. 

It seems too peaceful right now. With an explosion that shook the whole island like that, everyone should have been up and about. There should have been sirens going off on the island for tsunami warnings. There should have been panic and hysteria. But nothing of the sort is happening.

I look at my phone to check the time and messages from anyone who was wondering if I was okay — there were none. It’s getting late so I head back home. 

I wrap my own arms around me. I try to warm myself up as the night got more chilly.

“Well, that was boring.” I mutter to myself. I thought the crash was finally going to end my misery: my existence. It would wash my life away along with the bad luck, and the people I hated as well. 

That would have been a good bad luck end to my life.

But… If my life ended here as I wished, would it really be considered bad luck?

No, It would probably be good luck then? 

So if the meteorite did nothing to destroy the island was it good luck then?

Bad luck or good luck?

I rub my head from the aching that was caused by pondering too deep into this. I sigh a deep sigh. Whatever the answer was to my question, the meteor could have killed me. But instead of brining me rest that I’ve been longing for, It brought me nothing.

Nothing.


	2. Space Boy

**Journal 3  
Entry #46**

**8 November 2013  
Friday**

Today had to be one of the best days of my life! Everything I’ve been planning for this special occasion played out well. I feel like I’m floating right now. I feel like the every cell of my body, the every fiber of my being, the every part of my soul is drowning in contentment.

My day started off with my usual routine: I spent my morning with my parents and my sister. We had a nice conversation over plates of hot and fluffy pancakes. As soon as we were done eating, we each got ready for the day ahead of us.

Dad was the first to leave the house, he looked extra excited for work today. My best bet on why he looked ecstatic this morning was because he had a great chance to close the deal with a prospect customer who’s been eyeing the lot my Dad’s been trying to sell for weeks. He took me to the lot once before and all I could say was that it was beautiful.

Mom followed next with graded papers tucked away in one of her arms. Like my Dad, she too looked happy. 

She didn’t really express her happiness out loud but Chiaki and I could clearly see it in her eyes. Joy was radiating off her like the sun’s rays. I could remember her mentioning how her students were acing the class. She's always passionate about her teaching career, and today was no different.

I grabbed my bags and Chiaki followed me after, right away. As we walked, Chiaki and I chatted mostly about the latest video games with the exception of other varying topics along the way.

When we arrived to school, Chiaki and I parted ways, going to each of our own classes set for the day. I saw principal Tengan and I smiled at him and gave him a polite nod.

As I approached the door to my class, I felt a strong and heavy arm hang over my shoulder. It was Mondo who had a smile on his face. He was excited as he reminded me of today’s plan. We entered class and we were greeted by Fuyuhiko and Souda. They all wore matching grins on their faces as they were all excited for me. 

I felt nervous and uncomfortable at first but I had to push through with the plan. They insisted on helping me out when I told them what I was going to do. I declined at first, wanting to do this on my own, but after a few pestering here and there, I finally gave in. I could use some of their help anyway.

Before the plan was set into motion, one thing was in our way -- we had to attend our classes first. Thankfully, without thinking of the plan too much during class, I was able to ace the quiz we had in Literature this morning plus I had a great time in Biology, the rest of the subjects were quick to finish.

Lunch came, and that’s when I decided to make my move which would change my whole life forever. I looked over to where my friends were, they were 'hiding' and snickering. The three of them stood behind a post, watching me.

I looked over to where the boy of my dreams usually sat. He was eating his lunch, chatting with his group of friends.

I could remember the first time I laid my eyes on him, he was the cutest person I’ve ever seen. It was on the first day of our math class I first noticed him. At that time, I had a feeling he was new to the island since I mostly knew of the people living here. The island isn’t that big after all, and everyone who were living here knew each other well. It was like a tight-knit family and Makoto was a new addition to that.

I didn’t get to talk to him during the first weeks of class though. I was kind of afraid and shy to interact with the boy. 

During the month of absent-mindedly eyeing him and wanting to talk to him, I noticed how he got along with everyone so easily. His optimism and upbeat attitude was quite contagious to people who were near his orbit. 

Everyone around him generally liked him. If anyone ever did have one kind of negative feeling against him, it would be that of jealousy.

I’m pretty sure of it. 

How could anyone not like the guy?

I got a hold of myself and tried to remember the lines that I memorized earlier and repeated it in my head as I forced myself to approach the boy. I looked back over to my friends and I caught the flowers Fuyuhiko tossed me and he gave me an encouraging thumbs up. 

I looked back over at Makoto and he met my gaze with what I could see as sparkles in his eyes. 

I drew all my confidence, and stood on top of the table and started professing my feelings for him -- I told him I really liked him followed by a short speech on why I felt that way.

The cafeteria grew quiet, as quiet as when Principal Tengan gave a boring sermon but they weren’t quiet out of boredom, they were quiet because they wanted to hear what Makoto had to say about my little announcement. 

He looked shocked and I could feel the tension swimming in my mind right then and there.

He didn't say a word but I was caught of guard when Makoto stood up on the table, grabbed the flowers and tossed it to the side. 

I was shaking.

He grabbed me by the neck and planted a sweet and tender kiss on my lips.

I could have sworn a nerve popped in my head from the rush the kiss gave me.

Living my life went from amazing to pure bliss in seconds. It felt like I was able to attain the unachievable.

As soon as the kiss was done, the crowd surrounding us clapped and congratulated the both of us. 

My life couldn’t get any better. I had loving parents, a best friend who was also my sister, great and supportive friends and now a boyfriend.

 

I wonder what my tomorrows would bring me?

.  
— — —  
.

———————————————————————————————————————————

**Chapter 2: Space Boy**

I blink and rub my eyes, after which, I look at my surroundings.

This place... I don't recognize it. 

_Where am I?_

I don’t understand why I’m here.

And what is this?…

This feeling?

I’ve heard testimonies on how people recalled memories and experiences they’ve had before being born. They called it PBM or pre-birth memories. 

I’m not talking about those accounts where a number of people had a vivid memory of their past life or lives, or of those people who encountered angelic beings before being sent to earth. 

I’m talking about those people who’ve remembered what it was like being in their mother’s womb. People who somehow have a recollection on their state before entering into the world. 

They’ve reported feelings of weightlessness and a sense of deep calm. I remember them also mentioning that they were afloat in a dark place.

I could probably compare what they felt to what I’m feeling right now.

This must be what it was like…

But... the only difference with their experience from my experience is: I’m not surrounded in complete darkness. I'm surrounded by stars. 

I just don’t see the stars, I also see the face of the earth. 

_Am I in space?_

I take a closer look to the planet where I'm supposed to be in. Where the light given off from the sun hits the earth, I see a mixture of a brilliant blues and dark muddy browns with tinges of forest greens. The rest of the earth that isn’t hit by light is dark but I could see scattered bright lights in some of it’s areas, I presume it to be different cities and their night life. 

I am in complete awe.

_The earth looks so prodigious._

The view of the stars and the planet earth makes me feel so puny. Those stars I see could be other galaxies with millions of other planets and heavenly bodies. 

At this moment, I realize that I am but a single grain of sand in one of earth’s seashores. I am nothing special. I'm just a speck of dust in the universe.

It's sad to think about but nonetheless I also feel amazed.

I let all the wonder and the calmness that the weightlessness has brought me, overtake me which causes me to close my eyes half-lidded.

I try to fix my gaze on another part of space but my head rotation causes a number of messy white strings to appear in the corner of my eyes. I try to grab a bundle of it and rub it in between my thumb and index finger. 

It’s hair...

My hair.

The feeling of the separating individual strands of my hair is so vivid. It feels like this isn’t some kind of dream at all.

Is this real? Am I in space?

Out of nowhere a spaceship appears which causes me to whip my head towards it, so I can look at it head on. I see it approaching earth and my half-lidded eyes open wide in an instant. The calmness and wonder which filled me earlier is now depleting from my body. 

I scream and scream and scream but nothing's coming out of my mouth. In fact, I can’t hear anything.

No one can hear my cries in space. Not even me.

I grab my hair with both hands in horror as I continue to watch the chaos that's happening in front of me. The worst part is: I can't do anything about it.

The shuttle’s speed gets faster and faster as it nears the earth’s surface. 

Something explodes on the side of it and the whole thing turns into a ball of orange and red flames. It gets smaller and smaller as it travels closer to earth. I tug my hair harder until it gets rooted off my scalp. 

I clench my fists, my nails digging into my palms, locks of my hair still sticking out off the space in between my fingers. Tears start welling in my eyes and I try to blink it off. 

Instead of it falling off my face, the tears start floating in front me for me to see.

The earlier feelings of calmness and wonder are now replaced with bitterness and scorn.

In an instant, I remember why I hated the stars.

I’d rather float in darkness than to be vulnerable to the cosmos.

I mouth curses at the twinkling lights. I can’t control the anger that’s seeping out of my pores. 

The lights start spinning around me, creating a multitude of light trails against a black canvas, until I’m completely surrounded by white. 

I hear a loud ringing sound echoing around me. I try to find where the noise is coming from but I can’t seem to find it.

The ringing get’s louder and I try to scream louder than earlier, but still, no sound is coming out of my mouth.

The white shines brighter until I am finally blinded.

_Beep beep beep_

I open my eyes wide to the sound of my blaring phone alarm. My eyes adjust to the glaring light of the rising sun which is blanketed by gray dreary clouds. I feel a stray tear run down my cheek as I straighten my back out. I wipe the tear off with my thumb and give out a deep sigh.

It was just another dream.

I’ve been having similar dreams like it since I was a kid. 

No… not dreams... but nightmares.

I thumb my phone to turn the alarm off and place my hand on my throbbing head. I try to collect last night’s memories and remember the reason why I slept seated on my desk chair in front of my window. 

The meteorite!

I stand and look to the ocean where the meteorite landed and let my eyes trail off to the beach to see if there were any sign that indicated of it indeed happening. Nothing looks suspicious.

Was it a dream too?

.  
— — —  
.

After finishing brushing my teeth and setting my toothbrush on my bathroom cup, I get a glimpse of my reflection on the bathroom mirror. The reflection gives me a quizzical look. I notice I look a lot different from the last time I studied my appearance. 

If I had one word for myself right now it would be 'not-human': a layer of dark bags under another layer of dark bags resting under blood-shot eyes, hard chapped lips that could cut, ghost-pale skin and deep sunken cheeks which gives the impression that I haven’t eaten for months. 

Despite looking like crap, I smile at my reflection and tell it that today’s gonna be a good day.

As I head downstairs I hear Chiaki’s video game filling the air -- the white noise conquering the whole kitchen. I see her, sitting in the dining area, playing with her PSP Vita. A bowl filled with soggy cereal is sitting on the table in front of her. I grab my own bowl and fill it with the brand of cereal that I like and add some milk onto it. It's been a long time since we got home made breakfast.

I sit across Chiaki who hasn’t bothered to look away from the screen.

“Hey Chiaki, did you feel an earthquake last night?”

No response. As I expected.

“What about a loud booming sound?”

I try again but still nothing.

She’s like this most of the time. She doesn’t talk to anyone. Not even me. I take a spoonful of cereal and continue to eat in complete silence. As soon as I finish I head back upstairs to get ready for class.

I grab my bag and look at the clock. It’s still early to go to school but I continue to head out anyway, not wanting to see anyone on the way. I leave Chiaki with her game without saying a word and make my way to Hope’s Peak.

I pass by the beach since it was on the way. I could see more clearly compared to last night since it was brighter so I tried looking for signs of the crash happening. It still looks normal to me. I shrug my shoulders to myself and head to school.

 

— — —

 

I sit on my desk drumming my fingers on the hard wood out of boredom. I hear students approach the room and the door slides open. 

I try to drown my classmates conversation but I hear one of them saying “…then it went Boom!”

“Did you guys hear the explosion too, last night?” I say with a little too much excitement in my voice. I cough right away out of embarrassment with the outburst I just did.

Mahiru, who was conversing with Hiyoko raised her right eyebrow and looked at me funny. A 'why are you even talking to me' kind of expression displayed across her face. “What explosion?” she asks with a sharp tone.

“There was a crash last night. A meteorite!” I say a little doubtful now with my own experience of last night.

Both Mahiru and Hiyoko look at each other and looked back at me with confusion.

“It landed in the ocean and a heavy earthquake followed.” I continue hoping they felt it too, hoping I wasn’t deluding myself, hoping I wasn’t going crazy. 

“Uhmm... what time did it happen?” Hiyoko asks me.

“If it was too late at night, I was probably asleep.” Mahiru adds.

“It happened at nine in the evening.” I say.

Hiyoko just shook her head slowly and placed a hand over Mahiru’s shoulder. 

I heard her whisper “The weirdo just wants attention again.”

Light giggles follow.

I sigh and fold my arms on my desk and bury my face in them. 

_That was embarrassing…_

It felt so real though… the crash, the shaking, the explosion.

.  
— — —  
.

I look at my plate of cafeteria food. They serve good food in Hope’s Peak but I don’t have the appetite to eat after everything that just happened. 

I glance over to where Chiaki was sitting, someone usually sits with her. 

_It’s him._

I recognize the face, and I see him sitting with my sister every time. He stands out to me since he looks really feminine for a guy. 

_Was it Chihiro? his name? Yeah, that’s got to be it. Chihiro..._

Most of the time I see him sitting with my sister. His friend, Kiyotaka sometimes joins them too. I don't know why but Chihiro hangs out with my sister even though he can’t even get her to talk to him most of the time. Mostly, he just watches her play video games when they're together. 

And that’s exactly what he’s doing right now, watching the video game she's playing while taking small bites of his food. 

The sight makes me kind of jealous. I wish I had people like them to be my friends.

I look at the empty seats beside me. I have never had anything close to a friend before, maybe Chiaki and my parents were the only people to ever get close to me, but that was a long time ago until they all left me behind.

I look over to another table before I explode in jealousy. It so happens that my eyes slide over to the person I’ve been admiring since my first day at Hope’s Peak. Makoto. I admit I had a crush on him before but knowing I don’t have a chance, I moved on. 

He’s good with people, he’s kind, funny and uhhh cute… I feel my face heat up as I think more about the guy. Okay… so maybe there’s still a small part of me that likes the guy but that doesn't change the fact that he probably will never like me back..

He catches me staring at him and he just gives me a look of pity. 

I hate when people do that.

He turns his attention back to the person right beside him and interlocks his fingers with hers. She looks at me and gives me a sharp glare. My spine shivers. It's his girlfriend, Kyouko Kirigiri. She can be scary at times.

As I take a mental note not to get in her way a boot invades and crushes my food on the table.

I look up to the owner of the leather boot. It’s no other than Mondo… the wannabe biker, with a cob of corn for hair sticking out his head, like a unicorn. He has this crazy look in his eyes and his nostrils are flaring like a gorilla’s. 

“Hey there Na-GAY-to” he says emphasizing the word gay. 

How creative… 

His friends snicker from behind him: Souda, the attention-seeking pink-haired boy who badly needs to get his teeth fixed, I swear, his teeth are like spikes. One wrong bite and it’s good-bye tongue. And Fuyuhiko, Rumors have been spreading around saying that he’s leader of gang on the Island, which was surprising considering his lack of height.

There was no doubt in my mind I hated them but also, I can’t help but admire them. They are the popular kids after all. 

People generally liked them. 

I want to be like them: to be looked up to, to have friends, to be loved. I know it’s a big dream for me to reach, It may not even be possible for someone like me but I can’t help to at least have someone like me back, to have a feeling of being appreciated again, even just for a little bit. 

“Checking Makoto out again, I see.” Mondo sneers.

“You really are gay, aren’t you?” Souda adds, snickering even more.

“Leave me alone.” I whisper

“What did you just say? You bastard.” Fuyuhiko shouts. He glares at me and comes closer to my face trying to intimidate me.

Everyone in the cafeteria stops chatting to one another and turn their attention to us.

“I said… leave me alone.” I say a little louder but this time my voice is quivering. 

“I think it’s the first time I ever heard you speak to us Na-Gay-To.” Mondo smirks.

It’s true. I never spoke to them before. It was almost rare of me to at least utter a single word at school, with some few exceptions here and there. I sometimes talk to some selected students but that was rare. Most of the time I chose girls to talk to since they treated me better than the guys. I only spoke if I recited in class or when I needed to ask something… just like this morning.

Everyone didn’t want to talk to me anyway so why even try? I tried making friends when I was younger, but whenever I tried approaching someone and introduced myself they would look at me in a weird manner and turn around. 

Whenever I tried talking to Uncle Tengan or any adult for that matter they simply didn’t listen or they didn’t try to understand what I was saying, so I just gave up on speaking to everyone on this Island.

The only good conversations I have are in my head. And the only speaking I often do is in my journal.

“Oi! stop ignoring us.” Mondo says cracking his knuckles with a threatening look to his face.

“I said leave me alone!” I say as I stand up, hitting the table with my balled up fists. I surprise everyone including myself in the process. 

When Mondo recovers from shock, he grabs my hair and drags me across the cafeteria with Souda and Fuyuhiko following right beside him.

I’am writhing in pain and kicking my feet in random places. I try to grab his enormous hand with both of mine but I can’t even budge it open. I begin to tear up at the side of my eyes from the pulsating pain I feel around my scalp. I try to look at anyone in the eyes, pleading for help, hoping for a savior to pop out, but everyone resumes to eat their lunch like nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

Wooden floorboards turn to tiles and Mondo throws me inside a vacant bathroom stall that reeks of piss. 

I look at him towering over me. He is pissed off and ready to kill me, no doubt in my mind. 

I immediately regret the things I’ve said. I shouldn’t have defended myself. I shouldn’t have listened to the old man. I should have just kept quiet like I always did, and I wouldn’t be in this kind of mess.

“You shouldn’t have said that you little gay shit.” Mondo says with a dangerous tone. His companions looking at me in disgust like I was scum. I can’t blame them. I’m scum after all.

Mondo’s serious expression turns to a psycho’s smile. “You want this don’t you?” He says his hand rubbing his package while smacking his lips together. Fuyuhiko and Souda look at him with actual surprise. “H-hey man, what are you doing.” Souda says.

“I’m just giving him what he wants.” Mondo says with his lips formed into a kiss. He glides his hands over his belt and unbuckles it.

“Fuck man, what are you doing!?” Fuyuhiko shouts and grabs Mondo’s arm. 

Mondo moves his arm and swats Fuyuhiko’s hold away, ignoring his companions. His hands go over his pants’s zipper, unzips it, and moves his face closer to mine. He whispers “I know you want it. Don’t you Na-gay-to?”

I just sit here staring at him.

Is he?

Tears start running down my cheeks. I go into a panic inside my mind.

I try to move but I can’t. I’m frozen in fear like a trapped animal.

Seconds pass by which seemed like hours until he gives out a loud mocking laugh. “Hah! You really thought I was low enough to get on with garbage like you?” He zips back his pants and adjusts his belt.

I hear his friends sigh in relief and Fuyuhiko tells him “C’mon let’s leave the fucker. I think he got the message.”

Mondo looks at Fuyuhiko and says “Leave him!? After disrespecting us? “ He shakes his head, his eyes still on Fuyuhiko. I look at Fuyuhiko and wait for his response but before he could, Mondo kicks me on the side of my mouth. My head whips to the side and I slip to the floor. 

I place my hand to my mouth and look at the blood smeared on my fingers. The metallic taste fills my mouth.

“Jeez man, don’t get us expelled.” I hear Souda say.

“Na-gay-to, remember, know your place, you are nothing but garbage.” Mondo says in a stern voice. 

“No one will ever love you” he adds as he leaves and his friends follow suit.

Hearing those words in my head is normal, but hearing it coming out from someone else’s mouth was surprising. It hurt more than the boot to the face. I hugged my knees and let all my tears run free. It’s been a long time since I cried.

I stay there for half an hour. Ten minutes after the bell rings I storm out of the bathroom and out of the school. 

I can’t take it anymore. 

I need to read my journals.

As I reach Jabberwock beach I see someone laying down on the sand. I walk closer to the person who is sprawled on the beach until I can get a clearer view. He doesn’t look like someone I know. I go over him and check on him.

His chest is heaving up and down. I try to wake him but he doesn’t budge.

I study him a little closer. 

He looks to be my age. He’s wearing what seems to be a school uniform: a white button up shirt with a crest on the breast pocket, a tie with a weird symbol I’ve never seen before, black pants and sneakers. His uniform confuses me since I know Hope’s Peak Academy to be the only high school on the island, his uniform doesn’t look like my own. And he can’t be a tourist. Tourists only visit the island during the summer.

I looked around for his parents or relatives but there was no one on the beach. He must have come from the ocean. But how did he get here? A ship wreck? I look to the ocean but there were no signs of any wreckage.

I look back at him and I see the part of his hair sticking out from his head, wiggling. I shake my head and blink to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. What was that!? It moves again but it stops. This time I rub my eyes and give my full attention to his hair. It doesn’t move. It just follows the wind. 

_It must be my imagination._

I bend my legs and shift in closer on top of him.“Hey…” I call out.

“Hey, are you okay.”

I see him open his eyes and I stare at it -- a pair of green orbs looking like they have a life of their own. I see shades of green light dancing in his irises. It’s like there’s a whole world living in them. 

He opens his mouth but the words that leave it comes out muffled. He closes his eyes again and falls back into a deep sleep.

I check for his pulse and I make sure he has no injuries before deciding to carry him. I sigh, thankful that he’s just unconscious without any visible injuries. 

I take my dirty coat off that smells like piss from laying down on the bathroom tiles and I fold it. I lift him off the ground and I support him with my arms. I stand up from a squat position and carry the brown-haired boy on my back, piggy-back style. I shift my feet to gain balance. _Damn he’s heavy._ I then proceed to carry my bag with my right hand and walk back home.

.  
— — —  
.

I plop him down on my bed and stretch my back afterwards. Carrying the brunette made my back sore. I think I pulled something.

After getting comfortable taking a seat right beside him on the bed, I place my hand on his forehead to make sure he doesn’t have a fever. His skin was warm to the touch but not hot enough to indicate that he was sick. I tuck him in bed and headed downstairs to grab a glass of water for him when he wakes up.

I place the glass down at the bedside table and sit down on my chair right beside him. I looked over to his face to study him a little more. 

It was weird how I found him on the beach: He was unconscious on the sand with no one around. He was wearing a school uniform which I doubt came from the only high school on Jabberwock Island, Hope’s Peak Academy. He didn’t look familiar too. The island is really small, so if he lived with us then I would recognize him in an instant. He also seems to not have any form of injuries or sickness.

I rub my chin with my hand, pondering on how he got to the island.

One explanation entered my mind…

The meteorite!

My eyes widen at the realization. No wonder why his hair was twitching earlier. It wasn’t hair! It was an antenna. He was a freaking alien!

His hair twitches again. I back up a bit in surprise. I wasn’t imagining it. This time he sits up and stares at me with those supernatural eyes of his.


	3. Going Back Home

**Journal #4  
Entry #5**

**23 July 2014  
Wednesday**

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Just to give an update, I’ve been spending the summer with my sister. Although, I would’ve liked it even more if I could spend it with Makoto too. It’s just that he had to travel back to his hometown to meet some of his relatives. 

I don’t mind hanging out with my sister but I wish my boyfriend could have experienced his first summer in Jabberwock Island with me. 

Oh well, there’s always next year though. 

I’m thankful at least that we’ve had the chance to voice call each other online. We’ve been chatting on _Usami Talk_ non-stop until the early hours of the morning, sometimes reaching past six. The last time we spoke to each other was four days ago and I'm already beginning to miss him so much.

As for Mondo, Fuyuhiko and Souda, the reason why I haven’t been spending time with them is because they were busy with their summer classes. I wasn’t surprised when they announced that they needed to take it a few weeks ago. I just had to act clueless and 'feel bad' for them so I won’t offend any of them. 

Anyways, back to my sister.

Most of my time spent with Chiaki was either playing video games with her or just hanging out and chatting in her room. We aren’t the type of people to hang out on the beach all day so the only time we got to visit the beach this summer was just a little awhile ago. Our parents insisted for us to go out together without bringing any video games to distract us, and to just bond and have some _real_ fun.

So that’s what we did. We even brought old Yuki to the beach. I never saw him so excited in my life. He wagged his tail so much, I bet he made the leaves of the trees on the whole island dance. It kind of melted my heart looking at our old Labrador retriever so full of energy again. So we packed our things and headed out. I had to latch on to Yuki’s leash with my full power, for him not to send me flying the whole trip.

We made it to Jabberwock beach in less than fifteen minutes. 

The view was breathtaking. The sky was a beautiful palette of oranges and violets. The setting sun blanketed the cliff formations with an orange cast that surrounded the rocky coastline. The waves crashed and the salty wind danced around us. 

It’s been months since we’ve last seen the place. 

I didn’t really pay much attention to it before since It’s been a routine passing by the beach to get to school. I guess I sort of took the view for granted, not really taking it in, until now.

I released Yuki from the leash and I rushed through the sands which made Yuki excited to chase after me. This brought back old memories, our big pale-haired dog loved chasing us when we were kids. It was nostalgic to be ran after by him again. Chiaki followed suit, laughing at my antics.

We all enjoyed the time together. Especially for Yuki, he was the happiest and the most content out of the three of us. 

After playing around on the beach we headed to our _secret cave_ , the cave where Chiaki and I used to play all the time when we were seven.

I first discovered the cave when I was six. Chiaki and I were playing hide and seek and I ran off to a part of the beach where no one usually goes. I passed through the rocky path and into the shallow part of the ocean and hid near the rocks, and that was when I first set my eyes on it. 

When I showed the cave to Chiaki her face lit up. Right then and there we decided to spend most of our time in it, hiding from the rest of the world where Chiaki and I could escape from the troubles of everyday life, to be care-free. 

We declared it as our new playground.

The only downside was, it’s a bit far off, but it’s always worth visiting. It’s a large cave where the water still reaches the inside of it. It has a huge gaping hole on top of it where the light of the day enters, making the cave bright when the sun is up.

Our secret playground is pretty stunning, just like a part of a fantasy land, fresh out from a story book.

Our voices echoed when we reached the entrance of the cave. I was instantly hit by old memories upon entering the gaping mouth of our secret space. I immediately asked Chiaki if we could stay there for a bit. I think she was glad that I asked, since she looked like she too wanted to stay a little bit longer. 

We dropped our things on the dry ground inside the cave and gathered up some sticks and branches close to the area, since the sun was about to set. With the tools that we brought, we were able to make a mini campfire inside the cave. 

The orange glow that was emitted by the flame was enough to light up the whole cavity. Yuki fell asleep right away beside Chiaki. 

My sister and I chatted for a while, telling stories about the past, laughing and smiling at each other a lot.

When we decided to go home, we walked with a cloudless sky above us. It was painted black with no stars to be seen, no heavenly bodies to watch over us and no constellations to dance above us.

It was a great evening.  


.  
———  
.

———————————————————————————————————————————

**Chapter 3: Going back home**

“Uhmm… Hi?” I say to the alien boy who was now awake, sitting upright on my bed. I’m not sure if he speaks our language or if he understands me one bit, so I repeat what i just said in a drawling manner while waving at him, hoping he gets my hand gesture. 

He doesn’t respond right away, so I think of a different procedure on how to communicate, to make sure he understands me. 

“Where am I?” he says.

“Whoa!? You speak english!?” I say a little too thrilled at the fact that he does speak, and that he understand me and I understand him.

He looks at me funny, like I was the alien here. _Well… technically I would be considered an alien to him, since I come from another planet as opposed to him._

“Uh… yeah. Now can you please answer my question? Where are we?” He says.

I find offense from the tone of his voice and his impatience but I let it slide since he clearly doesn’t know what _manners_ is.

“Jabberwock Island.” I say.

This time he doesn’t look at me at all and he stands up quickly. “I-I need to get home.” He says, panicking. 

_Did I say something wrong? Was I too weird?_ Before I could answer him he opens my room’s door and runs outside of the house.

I immediately run after him. “Wait! I’m sorry! We can start over.” I say.

He ignores me and continues on sprinting.

Despite the fact that he doesn’t want to talk to me, I continue chasing after him. 

I don’t think he knows where he’s going since it looks like he’s running in random directions.

“Wait! I can help!” I shout, trying my best to catch up to him.

I adjust my running stance and gain more momentum and speed but it seems I’m still way too far behind him. 

Wow. He really is fast. It must be an alien thing. Or maybe… I just suck at running. My fitness level is below average after all. 

“Hey wait up!” I yell. 

After running all over the whole Island he stops at the sands of the beach where I found him earlier.

I stop a few feet behind him. I fold up and grip my knees, trying to catch my breath. “Ahh. H-hey. Will you. Quit. Running.” I say in between breaths. “I just want to talk.” I get a little dizzy and my knees hit the sand.

The alien boy comes close to me but he doesn’t help me up. I look up at him and he just has this puzzled expression on his face. 

“Look. I don’t have time for this. I need to get home.” He says and proceeds to look back at the ocean.

I regain my strength and stand up. “Just let me help. I know you’re from space and all but I may be able to get you back to where you came from.”

He looks at me with those green eyes of his and sighs. “Fine.” He replies. “I had an accident on the ship I was on, right over there—” He points to the center of the ocean, the same spot where the meteorite crashed last night. “And I need to find a way to get home.” He puts his hands on his hips with a huff.

“Ship… As in alien ship right?” I say.

He looks at me with another bewildered stare.

_Wow, he’s pretty good in acting. He really doesn’t want me to find out huh?_

“Look, I know your an alien. I mean, I’ve seen you crash from the sky last night.” I say pointing at the same direction he was referring to seconds ago. “Just admit you are one, and I won’t tell a single soul. I promise.”

He just continues to stare at me. The alien boy is probably trying to decipher whether to trust me or not.

He can’t fool me though. I’ve seen what happened last night, even if no one else witnessed it.

“You can trust me.” I say. I try my best to give the most trustworthy smile I can, but I end up scrunching my face up. “Aha.” I nervously laugh and wait for him to respond.

He doesn’t.

It’s getting more and more awkward for me as the seconds tick by.

And before my head explodes from embarrassment, a wave comes in and spits out a suitcase close to the alien kid’s legs. 

“Hey, it’s my bag.” he says.

_His bag? A metal suitcase?_

He grabs it and lifts it by his side. 

I look at the metallic case, curious to find out what’s inside. He doesn’t open it, _since I know it’s obvious that he’s hiding some kind of alien technology in them._

I look back at him. 

“Uh… So can you help me get back home or what?” he says while scratching the back oh his head.

I frown inwardly when he doesn’t admit he is an extraterrestrial being. “Yeah, of course. How can I help?” I ask instead even though I don’t want him to go just yet.

If ever though, we find his space ship and fix it, I wonder if he can take me out of this messed up island. Maybe land me somewhere nice, like New Zeland or something. I’ve heard they have a lot of sheep there. Maybe I can be a shepherd and lead a simple life. 

“I’m not sure on how you can exactly help me yet. But anyways first thing’s first, I’m sorry for being rude earlier.” He says, crossing his arms and avoiding eye contact. “Oh, and thank you for helping me when I passed out.” He adds.

“No problem at all.” I chirp.

He extends his hand out. “By the way, my name is Hajime Hinata.”

I tense up for a bit. It’s been a long time since I’ve shaken someone else’s hand before.

I mentally slap myself to get a a grip. I wait and let my body relax. “I’m Nagito. Nagito Komaeda.” I say. “It’s nice to meet you Hajime.” I say giving out the best smile I can muster.  
He looks offended that I didn’t shake his hand yet so I try my best to go for it.

“Likewise.” he says with a mirroring smile. Our hands finally meet, his grip is strong and gentle at the same time.

_Wow his hands are warm._

_Wait a minute? Shouldn’t aliens have tentacles or at least be cold-blooded or something?_ I take this time to ponder.

He tries to break free from my hand and I immediately let go when I realize I’ve been shaking his hand for too long. My cheeks heat up at the realization and I apologize.

“Uhh yeah… sure.” he says. “Anyways… The only thing we can do right now, is wait.”

“Okay then. I’ll wait with you.” I say. 

He shrugs and plops down on the sand facing the ocean.

I sit right beside him.

_Wait a minute. Wait for what though? Wait for other ships to come pick him up? Are there more aliens up there just orbiting the earth or something?_

I take this opportunity to think about everything that has happened since last night as we both watch the horizon, waiting.

Minutes pass by and my desire to ask him so much questions arise, but I stop myself, fearing that I may weird him out too much, especially my speculations of him being someone who is from outer space. 

What if he ends up hating me because of my weirdness? 

It’s been a really good start and I don’t want to ruin everything, so I repress the nagging thoughts and do my best to sit still.

We continue sitting on the sand, waiting in silence. 

After the longest twenty minutes of my life, he opens his mouth and asks me something that I didn't quite hear the first time.

“I’m sorry?” I ask.

“I said… what happened to your lip?”

I touch my lip and wince in pain, the feeling brings me a reminder of Mondo kicking me in the face earlier. I shake my head and say “Nothing. I just bit it by accident.”

“You bit it?” He asks. I look at him and I see him wearing a disbelieving expression. 

“Uh yeah. It happens all the time.” I lie. I don’t want him finding out that people hate me. I don’t want him to find out I’m a loser.

“You’re the weirdest person I’ve met.” He says.

“Oh.” I say. I saw that coming but I don’t know how to respond to that.

For some reason, what he just said, hurt me. I’m used to people calling me that but the words coming from Hajime makes me sullen. Here, I was thinking that maybe I can finally have a friend for once but now that he said that brings my hopes down.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” He says with an inscrutable expression, and faces back to the the ocean.

I immediately forget what i just said earlier. Maybe I do have a chance. I hope with all my soul that we can become friends. I make a wish at the back of mind that he doesn’t leave just yet. _Sorry Hajime._

After several more minutes of waiting I start to hear faint sounds of a noisy crowd approaching us. I check the time using my phone. It’s time for everyone to head home from school.

I stand up in a hurry. “Hey Hajime? I say and grab his attention.

“Hm?” he looks up at me.

“I want to take you somewhere.” I say, shaking a bit. 

_I don’t want anyone to see him. I don’t want my classmates to show up and make him find out that everyone on the island hates me._

He cocks his right eyebrow but then proceeds to nod without saying a word. 

I lead the way with a light jog and Hajime follows closely behind.

We end up at my secret cave hideout. We enter it and I see Hajime’s eyes widen as he looks around in awe.

“I’ve never seen anything like this up close.” He says, his voice echoing all around me. The warmth of his voice, and his appreciation of what I just showed him gives me a fuzzy feeling inside of me.

“Yeah, I hide here most of the time.” I realize what I just blurted out. I make a coughing noise to cover it up, hoping he didn’t hear me. I worry at the fact that I may have given myself away.

“Hide from what?” He asks, now giving his full attention to me. He has surprise and worry in his eyes. 

_Crap._

“Uh…” I say trying to think of something. “I hide here to escape from my household chores.” I give out a sheepish laugh while scratching the back of my head.

He doesn’t look like he believes me but he goes on and asks, “So what do you do in here when you hide?” changing the subject.

I sigh in relief inside my head, thankful that he let it slip.

“I write. I like writing.” I say.

“What do you write? Fantasy? Sci-fi?” He says while climbing on one of the rocks.

“Oh, none of those.” I reply. He sticks out his hand and I grab onto it and he lifts me up. “I’ve been writing about my life. It’s a journal kind of thing.”

“That’s cool.” He says and finds a spot to sit down on. He looks up into the gaping hole atop of the cave. The light creeping in, illuminates him. His green eyes get even brighter. He looks back at me and says, “Stare much?” 

He snickers.

I look away feeling embarrassed. “Sorry…” I mutter.

I sit across him and stare at my shoes. “You’ve been asking me a lot of questions so I think it’s fair if I ask you something in return.” I say and look back at him.

“Yeah, but the only questions you’ve been asking me is ‘are you an alien?’.” He says with a mocking “woooo" sound while waving his arms in the air and then he proceeds to chuckle.

“Yeah, but seriously, are you?” I ask, deadpan.

He looks at me thoughtful and then he holds his stomach and guffaws.

“I’m a hundred percent serious, you know.” I say, feeling annoyed, but at the same time I get intoxicated by his laughter which makes me all warm and giddy. 

“What do I look like to you?” He says, forcing himself to stop laughing.

“A person. But for all I know, it could be a disguise.” I say, half-joking, half-serious.

“Yeah, sure.” He rolls his eyes.

_I want to know for sure if he really isn’t from outer space. All I have to do is ask him the right questions._

“Soooo, if you really are a human then answer this for me. Where are you from?” I ask.

“It doesn’t matter.” He says.

_Getting warmer._

“Then how can I help you if you don’t tell me where you live?”

He thinks for a second. “Just do what I do, or what I ask you to do.” he says.

 _He can’t directly answer my question because he is an A L I E N!_

“If you tell me where you’re from, it’d be easier for us to find someone you know.”

_I got him cornered._

“I doubt it.” he says.

_Suuuure…_

“What about the internet? Social media?”

“I don’t use the internet and neither do the people I know.” he scratches the back of his head.

 _What kind of person doesn’t use the internet?_ “Do you have a phone with you?”

“I lost it in the crash.”

_See! Excuses. Excuses everywhere. He is indeed an alien. An extraterrestrial being! An intergalactic space traveler! If he doesn’t want to tell me, then I have to investigate for myself!_

“Fine, but if you are indeed an alien…” I say jokingly, making him believe that I’ve given up on my theories.

“You’ll what? tell the cops?” He says holding in his laughter.

“Nah, I’ll contact those alien hunters on T.V.” I say and we both burst out laughing.

_It all makes sense though, the meteorite, the crash and him appearing out of nowhere without a trace, it all proves he’s an alien._

_If he doesn’t admit it soon then I’ll have to find out for myself. All I have to do is catch him doing uh… alien stuff… Yeah! Alien stuff! But I’ll let it slide this time._

The light that’s shining on him get’s dimmer. And I look up at the sky through the hole. The orange that’s bleeding out of the sky tells me that It’s already sunset.

“I need to get home.” I say.

“ Okay, well... I guess they didn’t find me today…” He says, a little bit downcast.

“There’s always tomorrow.” I say. “You should come stay with me in the mean time.” I say.

“Really?" He says as he looks at me with surprise. "If that’s all right with you that is.” 

“Of course it’s okay with me! Where else would you stay if I didn’t offer you a place to sleep? But I have to warn you, My uncle doesn't like visitors. So let’s just keep it between us. We don’t have to tell him anything. Well, at least not yet.”

What I just said is half true. The truth is, I just don’t want Uncle Tengan finding out so I get to spend more time with Hajime. He'd probably bring Hajime to the police station or something and I don't want that. I know it’s selfish but can’t I just be with him a little longer and get to know him a bit more? Maybe I can even form a bond with this alien boy (If he really is one) and he’ll want to visit me and stuff, just like what friends do. Plus, this must be the good luck that I've been waiting for, hopefully breaking the chain of bad luck in my life.

“Okay. Thanks,” He says, smiling an appreciative smile.  


.  
———  
.

It’s dark by the time we reach the neighborhood. I tell Hajime to keep it down as we get closer to the house.

I look over at him and he has his eyebrows furrowed. “I wasn’t even talking or being loud.” he whispers.

I ignore him. 

We walk to the front door. I face him and put my pointing finger on my lips to tell him to shush. He just answers me back with an eye-roll.

I open the door and the fragrance of Uncle Tengan’s cooking hits my nose. I can tell, Hajime took a whiff too just by looking at his facial expression. He has stars in his eyes and his mouth is slightly open.

“C’mon. let’s go.” I whisper and he follows.

Hajime and I tiptoe to my room and I shut my door and lock it. He sets his bag down close to my bed.

“You can sleep on my bed tonight. I don’t have an extra mattress but I guess I can sleep on the floor in the meantime.” I tell him.

He immediately falls down onto my bed, landing on his back with arms spread wide open. “Thanks.” He says.

“Hey Nagito.” he says while staring up the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“Got any food?”

“I’ll bring you some food as soon as I finish eating.” I tell him.

“Can’t I just have dinner with you guys?” He says, sitting up and faces me.

“I told you, If I tell Uncle Tengan then he won’t let you sleep here.” I say.

“Fine. I guess I can wait” He says with a hint of irritation to his voice.

It's understandable. He probably hasn't eaten the whole day.

“If you need to use the bathroom it’s right here.” I say as I walk up to the bathroom door. “I just need to wash up and check on my Uncle if he’s done cooking.”

He doesn’t say a word and plops back down on my bed.

.  
———  
.

Like usual, Chiaki isn’t eating with us. I’m sure she’s playing one of her video games again. I tried knocking on her door earlier but she wouldn’t answer. I tried opening it too, but it was locked. It isn’t a big deal anyway, she’s always been like that ever since.

I get pulled back from my thoughts when I hear Uncle Tengan saying something.

“I said, do you want to talk about it?” Uncle Tengan asks me.

I feel my eyes widen at the sudden question. 

_Does he know?_

“Talk about what now?” I ask him .

“Don’t play dumb with me.” He says in a serious tone.

I gulp, but don’t answer. I wait for him to say more.

"Your lip.” He says.

“My lip?” I ask.

“Nagito, Please! How can I help you if you don’t tell me anything.”

Oh. I sigh inwardly. For a second there, I thought he was talking about Hajime.

“Oh, It’s nothing.” I say.

“Nagito…” He looks at me with pity. “Your professors have informed me you skipped school today. Specifically your afternoon classes.”

“I felt sick, so I walked home and I tripped on the way.” I say, wishing he would believe my lie or at least let it go for now.

He shakes his head. “It’s difficult for me to get to know you… to talk to you… to ask how you’re doing. You and your sister…” He breathes out. 

“Just…” He looks me in the eyes. “Just know that I’m here for you guys. Okay? You can always talk to me. I always remind you that.” 

I nod and he continues to let his gaze linger on me for a while before he takes another bite of his food.

I know he means well, but I can’t talk to him, I can’t go to him when I’m in need. I still don't fully trust him for past reasons but yeah, I know he’s a good person and all but I don’t think I can open up to him just yet. 

He’s been trying for years, but Chiaki and I simply wouldn't let him into each of our lives. I’ve felt bad for him in the past, until now. I just can’t.

I continue to eat my dinner slowly and wait for him to finish. My eyes constantly shift from my food to the stairs. I make sure not to eat as much, to save more food for Hajime. 

When Uncle Tengan finishes, he enters his room and I grab some of the food and place it on a plate, I also make sure to save some for Chiaki, just in case.

I walk up to my room with the plate full of food. I open my door and I’m greeted by a wide-eyed hungry Hajime. “Here you go. A plate of Yakitori!”

I hand him the plate of skewered grilled chicken, and without saying a word he fills his mouth with the meat.

“Chew your food!” I scold him. “When was the last time you ate?” 

“Mmhh Mmhh Mphh.” He says.

“I didn’t quite catch that…” 

He swallows and says “I said, sure Mom." mocking me as he rolls his eyes at me. "It's just that I haven’t eaten since yesterday.” Without waiting for me to reply he fills his mouth with more grilled chicken.

I let it slip since it’s understandable that he’s dead-hungry.

After he finishes the plate of food, which didn’t take long at all, I give him a box of something sweet.

He looks at me with curiosity.“What’s this?” he says.

“It’s Kusamochi. We usually eat this during spring but my uncle brought some store-bought ones the other day. You should try some.” I tell him.

He opens the box and looks at it.

“It looks weird, and it’s all green.” He complains.

“At least take one bite.” I say.

He sniffs it and scrunches his nose. He looks at me and looks back at it. He looks unsure if he should trust me.

He closes his eyes and takes a bite.

His eyes widen when it hits his tongue.

“What do you call these things again!?” He immediately asks, with some pieces of it falling from his mouth.

“It’s called…” Before I end my sentence he pops 3 pieces into his mouth and chews it down like a wild hungry wolf. “…Kusamochi.” I wasn’t expecting that. “Ehh…” I mutter to myself.

.  
———  
.

I shift back and forth, I can’t sleep on this hard wood floor. All I have with me is a pillow and a blanket. I sigh at my predicament but I smile with what happened today. 

Alien or not, I’m really glad I got to meet someone like Hajime.

I take a peak of Hajime on my bed. He looks like he’s asleep.

I turn my lamp on and I grab my journal sitting on my desk. I open the notebook up to the page I last wrote on, which was yesterday. It was on the last leaf of the notebook.

I scramble to get a brand new notebook from my drawer and immediately, write today’s date. Happiness fills me as I jot down words of today. I’m thrilled that I get to write something else for a change, I smile as a tear slips down my cheek. This time, out of happiness. 

I finish what I’m writing and I try to sleep, getting back on the hard floor.

I shift and try to get to a comfortable position. After a while, sleepiness clouds me but I hear shuffling on my bed.

“Hey Nagito… You still awake?” Hajime whispers.

“Mhm?” I say, already half asleep.

“I think I found out a way on how to get home tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be in two weeks! But hopefully less. I've been really busy! So I apologize in advance.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


	4. Please Stay

**  
**

**Journal 4**

**Entry #18**

**1 September, 2014**

**Monday**

 

It’s the first day of school for my second year in Hope’s Peak and things are already going great for my school-life. 

Today’s classes were smooth sailing, I got to catch up with old faces during lunch, I made a couple of new friends and I got to beat Chiaki in the video game we played after school. But none of those things are the reasons why I felt ecstatic about today. In fact, I can still feel my endorphins kicking around in my body.

What really brightened today the most was, I got to see my boyfriend who I’ve been missing the whole summer. 

Being without him for a long time was like pricking a hundred needles to my heart every second. I know that may sound dramatic, but it was a difficult experience to endure. 

My day may be nothing grand compared to other high-schoolers and It may not be much to others, but I’m happy. I’m happy I got to see him again and I believe simple things like that give my life true meaning.

So here’s how my day went. It started with the usual, breakfast with my family. Nothing new, just the same old conversations of “are you ready for school?”, “Do good this year.” and “Go make some new friends.” 

After eating the heavy meal and chatting with my family, Chiaki and I got ready for school, then we decided to race, starting from the door of our house up to the school gates, to see who was the fastest among the two of us. But I’d like to think the main reason for the sudden challenge was because we were both excited to get to school.

Compared to our peers, we weren’t that fast, since both Chiaki and I weren’t really the athletic type. But I could say we both ran as fast as we could. I was leading the whole time, passing our neighborhood, to the beach then to school under a few minutes.

I should have won but my feet failed me at the last minute. Chiaki zoomed past me as I came to a complete halt after a few feet away from the school entrance. 

Well, now that I think about it, my legs weren’t at fault. Instead, my heart was to blame for the abrupt stop because it was at the school gates that I got to lay my eyes on my boyfriend again. 

I knew I was going to see him again at school, but I didn’t expect it to happen this early. The surprise of seeing him waiting for me, made me shell-shocked in a way. A sudden surge of nervousness electrocuted my body and short circuited my brain.

Chiaki passed by him, stopped, took a couple of breaths before pointing a finger at me and declaring herself the winner. Makoto looked to where she was pointing and that was when I saw him wearing excited eyes and a smile that melted my heart. I tried my best to move my feet forward, fighting the stun that hit me. 

All the emotions I was feeling as I approached him, grew wilder like a storm intensifying into a hurricane as it neared it’s target.

We kissed as soon as I reached him. The exchange calmed the raging cyclone in me and brought me to a place of tranquility, my body finally relaxing. After it ended we hugged and said our “I miss you’s”. 

Chiaki said something that I didn’t quite hear, and entered the school.

Makoto and I chatted for a bit before heading to our class.

I was lucky enough to have most of my classes with him. We were together the whole day, catching up for the lost time of summer. The only thing that separated us at the end of the day was the need for us to get to each of our homes.

I can say that the distance we’ve had to endure for the past couple of months made us even closer in a way. It may be a strange conclusion but that’s how I felt right now. 

Thankfully, today was even warmer than last summer.

.

———

.

———————————————————————————————————————————

****

****

**Chapter 4:**

**Please Stay**

If I were to write a book about Hajime and myself right now, it would be entitled “The adventures of the lost alien boy and the zombie kid”. 

Yeah. 

Zombie kid. 

Besides being supernaturally pale and close-to-dead skinny since I was born -- right at this very moment -- I’m carrying some added traits that could make my stereotypical undead monster from the grave look, even more convincing: my back is bent in two different angles, my eyes are dyed scarlet with no trace of white, and not to mention, uncontrollable haunting moans are escaping my lips from time to time. These were all caused by laying on the floor for eight hours straight without getting an ounce of shut eye.

No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many sheep I’ve counted in my mind, I couldn’t get any sleep last night for two good reasons: first, my hard wooden floor was never meant to replace my soft, cotton quilted mattress -- if my back had a mind of it’s own I feel like It would slap me any moment now for deciding to sleep on the flat cold surface; second, Hajime’s words repeated itself in my head all night, over and over and over again, like a song left on repeat. 

The words stemming from what he told me last night. He said he had a surefire plan on how to get back home, I pretended I didn’t hear him at all, making some fake sleeping noises which to my surprise, worked. He stopped calling my name, telling me about his plans and went back to sleep. 

I didn't want to hear it after all. It pained me, listening to the excitement in his voice when he said he was going home. What more if it was really a sure proof plan? 

I didn’t even want him to go.

Well... not yet at least.

I know I’m being greedy and self centered for wanting him to stay, but he’s the only person who I’ve connected with in a long time or 'ever' even. We were so close to being friends. And now, it might never even happen. He's just gonna move on. He'll definitely forget all about me while I'm stuck on earth thinking of what could have been.

But enough of the pity party. Right now, I’m heading to school and he’s on his way to accomplish the plan he was trying to tell me last night. He told me this morning it would take place on the beach but he didn’t give me any further details. He just told me he was going home.

“Nagito, you okay?” Hajime asks with worried eyes and a small frown. “The only words you’ve said this morning is ‘here’s your breakfast’, ‘lets go’ and some random moaning zombie noises.”

_See, I wasn’t the only one who was thinking I was a generic flesh-eating, brain-craving monster._

“It’s not like you.” He says. “Is something up?”

“Of course something’s up. I don’t want you to go home. I want you to stay.” I say, in my head.

“Sorry, I’m not really a morning person and I couldn’t get an ounce of sleep last night.” I say, instead.

I try to twist and straighten my back with the support of both my hands. I stretch it out, leaning backwards and I try my best to ignore the excruciating pain hugging my lower spine.

“Oh, I thought maybe something serious was bothering you.” He says, looking at the distance.

I don’t respond. The silence between us gets more awkward as time slowly passes by. The only sounds that fill the stillness is our footsteps, the muffled crashing of the distant waves and the whispering of the cold morning breeze.

I slow my pace down for a bit and I let him lead by a few steps. I take this opportunity to observe him from the corner of my eye, pretending I’m looking at the horizon where sea meets sky. I look at his features that stand out, and try to intake it as best as I can: his supernatural green eyes, his golden tan skin, and his brown hair with that alien antenna of his. 

I pick up my pace until I walk side by side with him and I notice that I am slightly taller than him, maybe by an inch? Or a half?

After intaking all his features into my brain, I glance back at our path and I try to recollect everything that has happened between us yesterday—the day we first met. I try to recall the conversations we’ve exchanged, the laughs we shared and the smiles we gave one another. I try to engrave it in my memories in case he does leave today. 

It’s been less than twenty four hours since I got to know him but I can say that he’s the only person, outside of my family, that has been with me for the longest time. Unlike the people my age who I've met, Hajime was the only one who didn't mock me or show any signs of disgust towards me. As corny and cliché as it sounds, for that reason, I hope to never forget him.

We finally reach the shores of Jabberwock beach, the sands that hold our history. It’s where I first laid my eyes on the boy, and probably the place where I will see him for one last time.

We both slow down until we reach the center and come to a complete halt. 

I turn to face him.

He looks at me and gives me a small smile.

“Thank you.” he says.

“Will I ever see you again?” I ask him, concealing the sadness overcoming me with a smile.

He pauses for a while and looks at the ocean, thinking. He turns back to look me in the eyes and gives me an honest answer, one that I was already expecting. “I don’t know.” he says.

“Can’t you at least visit me again, even if it would take you a few years to return?” I ask again, my voice nearly cracking, my smile fading. “I can wait… As long as I see you again.” 

He gazes to the ground like he is guilty of something and says “I’m not sure.”

“Okay…” I just say, and look at the exact spot where I first saw him.

He coughs, grabbing my attention. He extends his arm and I look at it. I look into his eyes and grab his hand with mine. With a gentle squeeze, I give him one last smile.

“It was nice getting to know you, Hajime.” I say, my voice finally failing me. “I-I’m really glad to have met you.” 

_Will this be the last time I’ll get to see him?_

“It was nice getting to know you too.” He says, giving me the biggest and warmest grin I’ve seen on his face.

I let go of his hand and head for school without looking back.

The tears that I’ve been holding for the longest time, finally come spilling out.

.

———

.

I watch the hands of the clock tick by while drumming my fingers on my chair’s armrest. I stare into space, not really paying attention to what Ms. Chisa is lecturing about. The only thing that raced through my mind the whole day is Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime Hajime and Hajime. 

How I wish he was still there waiting on the sands of Jabberwock beach.

I wished that my luck would allow him to stay for a little while longer. _Please, just let Hajime be here, on this island. Even just for today. I just want to see him._

My thoughts must have spilled out from my mouth since the person who is sitting beside me—Mikan—is looking at me with a worried expression. 

I try to smile at her but she squeaks and looks back at the blackboard before I get to say anything.

The bell rings, startling me. I pack my things and stand up as quick as possible, wanting to see Hajime in case he is still here. I rush towards the door and make my way outside of the classroom. 

I can see the bright lights of the afternoon at the huge door frames of the school as I bolt, approaching it, but a person appears, casting a dark and familiar silhouette against the white light.

He signals me, letting me know he wants something from me.

I stop before I crash into him.

It’s Uncle Tengan.

“Nagito, I need to talk to you.” He tells me.

“But—”

“Come on, follow me, let’s get to my office.” He commands me with a serious tone.

Of course, I should have known, my luck would never allow me to see Hajime ever again. 

I give up and sigh, following the old man from behind.

We enter his office and I take in the smell of ink and old books. 

_That’s the only thing I like about his office. It reminds me of writing and reading the journals that I’ve been working on since I was a kid. It was the only thing keeping me sane, and now that Hajime’s probably gone, I’ll keep my nose buried under my journals for the rest of my days._

“Nagito,” He says, taking a seat on his leather chair that squeaks as he turns his body to fully face me. I take a seat, well aware that he won’t let me go until he’s satisfied speaking to me. “Now please answer me with honesty. I want to get to the bottom of this and help you.”

I nod my head rapidly as if to make him talk faster.

“One of the professor’s told me he saw three students leave the lavatory yesterday. He said they were smiling and laughing and he heard them mentioning your name.” He announces like a detective on a case.

I nod some more.

_It’s a good thing they didn't see what happened in the cafeteria or in the bathroom._

“And we suspect…” He says, stroking his beard.

_Just get to the chase already, detective._

“It may have had something to do with you missing your afternoon classes yesterday and..." He points. "your busted lip.”

“They had nothing to do with my lip and me missing my classes.” I say, wishing he would let me go already. I don’t have time for this. "They were probably just talking about me but that's it."

“Nagito…” He shook his head.

“I felt sick so I went home but then I tripped on the way.” I say, trying to make my tone of voice sound believable. "And that's how I got accidentally hurt"

He cocks an eyebrow up.

“Please, I’m telling the truth.” I plead.

He huffs. “Okay, fine. I'll let you go this time. But let me know if anyone is causing you trouble.” he says while looking into my eyes. 

I know he sees through my lies, but it doesn’t matter right now.

He continues to drone on , and I nod occasionally just to let him think I’m listening. He sermons me on the usual topics of me being too quiet, me needing to get out there, to ' try harder' on making new friends, on how my parents wouldn’t want me to be this way blah blah blah. 

Like I said, I’ve been trying ' _hard_ ' since I was a kid. It's just that nobody wants to be friends with me. The only person who ever spoke to me without looking down on me was Hajime…

“—Okay? Nagito, do you understand?”

I nod 

“Okay, then. You can go.” He says.

I stand up and say a big hallelujah in my head.

“One more thing—“

Oh god…

“If I ever do find out, that they were the ones who caused your injury… You’ll be in trouble too.” He says with sharp eyes.

“Yes, sir.” I say.

I walk out of the office and close the door gently. Then I continue my earlier sprint to the door.

I finally reach the outside, and again, I come to a complete halt. I see Mondo, Souda and Fuyuhiko leaning on the school gates, talking to one another about who knows what.

I curse under my breath.

I guess I lost. No matter what I do, I won’t be able to get what I want in the end. I can’t do anything. If I pass by them, they will surely notice and they will probably do something worse to me than what they did yesterday.

I turn back and go through the doorway, making my way into the now empty halls. I slump my body on one of the lockers and slide until I’m in a sitting position on the floor. I grab my legs and hug them as I lean and bury my face in them.

_I’m never going to see him again._

.

———

.

I open my eyes and face the doorway, focusing on the warm orange glow that's creeping in. It’s already sunset, I must have dozed off for a couple of minutes. 

I stand up abruptly as I recall why I’m here. I rush to the doorway and check for signs of the bullies. It seems that school brutes aren't around anymore.

I sigh in relief, thankful that nobody is around anymore except one of the school staffs, cleaning outside. 

I may still have time if I’m fast enough.

I exit the school gates and sprint towards the beach. 

After every few steps I take, the sun drops and the horizon gets darker. I don’t care if I see the stars tonight, as long as he’s there.

I reach the center of the beach and I frantically search for him. I don’t see a mop of brown hair anywhere. 

He isn’t around anymore. 

As I was about to give up and head back home I see something in the distance that catches my eye.

I’m glad I got to reach the beach as the sun was about to say it’s good night because it was still bright enough for me to see the trail of smoke that’s rising from the distance, trailing down behind a cliff where the cave I showed him yesterday was supposed to be.

I smile and dash to where it’s coming from.

_Please, I’m almost there._

It’s now dark, and the stars are slowly showing themselves to me.

I see the mouth of the cave thanks to a fire that’s still blazing brightly near it’s opening. 

I move towards it, panicking since I can’t find the boy who I’m looking for.

I wait and look around for a few minutes until I give up. 

I slump my body and give out the heaviest sigh.

All the pain from the past, and the fresh wound I have now are starting to boil, turning my grief to pure anger. 

Something inside me snaps and I look at the stars and start shouting at it. Cursing it like I’ve lost the screws and bolts in my head.

The stars never fail to always remind me of how small I truly am. How I’m not in control of anything. 

But the universe is. 

It has full control of everything.

_It took everything I cherished, away from me._

And now it’s laughing at me.

I take a piece of the burning wood by the untouched tip and I hurl it into the sky. It lands on the water and a small stream of smoke rises from the water.

“Uhh, are you okay?” a voice says from my left.

I tense up from surprise and I look to where the voice is coming from. My eyes meet a dark figure standing at the entrance of the cave.

He approaches the fire, the orange glow revealing the person’s features and I finally recognize who the voice belongs to.

I run over to him and he drops the pieces of wood he was carrying before I wrap my arms around him.

“Hajime, I thought you left.” I croak.

“Well…” He says, trailing off.

I immediately let go as I realize he isn’t hugging me back.

“Ah, sorry.” I blush. “It’s just that I thought you left and—“

“Uh yeah, no problem.” He says, looking off to the side. “Anyways,” He scratches the back of his neck. “I guess they didn’t find me today.”

I feel the sadness in the tone of his voice and it gives me a pang of pain because he badly wants to leave while I badly want him to stay. 

A feeling of guilt also wedges into my heart since here I was, selfishly wishing him to not leave. He too was hurting and I didn’t want him to feel that as well.

I’m utterly confused right now and I don’t know what I want more. For me to be happy or for him to be happy?

He looks back at me and gives off a chuckle. “So what was _that_ about?”I blush at the realization he was probably watching me from the start. 

“Uhh, nothing.” I say.

“It looked like something to me. Throwing that piece of wood into the ocean.” He laughs.

“I wasn’t trying to throw it into the ocean.”

“Oh really? then where were you throwing it?”

“Nothing.” I say while looking at the scattered wood beneath our feet, not wanting to look him in the eyes, from the feeling of embarrassment. “So, this was your master plan huh?” I counter, hopefully changing the subject. I look back at him with a teasing smile.

“Uhh yeah…” He says. This time, it’s his turn to feel embarrassment. “It’s the best thing I could come up with. In case someone was passing by, I was hoping they'd see the smoke and then they'd see me.” He smiles and coughs. “but…” He looks back to the ocean. “It wasn’t good enough.” The smile that was on his face seconds ago, vanishes.

I wish I hadn’t said that. I think of something quick to recover. “Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m sure we can figure something out tomorrow.”

Thankfully, my words make him smile and he looks right back at me. The look he gives me makes something inside me well up. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt like this. For some reason my heart is beating faster.

“So, can you help me out tomorrow?” he asks.

“Of course.” I say, mirroring the smile he is giving me. 

I still have mixed emotions though, I want him to be able to go home so he can be happy but at the same time I want him to stay so I’m happy. I'm sure I’ll figure something out soon.

“It’s getting late.” I add. “So do you want to stay over my place again for tonight?”

He smiles and nods at me. “Yeah, I have no where else to go... Thanks.” He grabs his suitcase from the cave and I eye it, still wondering if he has alien stuff stored in them.

We both put out the fire and head back home.

We chatted all the way over, until we reached my doorstep. I placed my finger on my lip, reminding him to keep quiet and just like yesterday, He rolls his eyes and nods at me again. As I was about to grab the doorknob, the door swings open and it’s no other than Uncle Tengan standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.

“Who’s your friend Nagito?" He cocks an eyebrow up. "It seems I’ve never seen him before.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll do my best to post another chapter next week. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Memory Loss

**Journal 1  
Entry #1**

**5 October 2005  
Wednesday**

Hi Diary!

I’m Nagito and this is my first time riting on here. 

Where do I start?

Today me and Chiaki waited on the couch for Mom and dad to com hom. 

Uncle Tegan took care of us when they were away.

When they came hom. me and Chiaki jumpt and hugd them real quick. It felt really nice when they wer hom.

They brot us gifts and a lot of food to eat! I feel so full, my tummy grew 2x its size. We all played video games and had fun!

We are a happy family again!

Today made me feel good. 

 

Bye!

-Nagito Komaeda  


.

———

.

———————————————————————————————————————————

**Chapter 5:  
Memory Loss**

We are sitting across from Uncle Tengan who is pressing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointing finger, looking pissed. I dart my eyes from him to Hajime a couple of times, comparing both of their contrasting moods. Hajime looks nonchalant and carefree while Uncle Tengan is fuming and worried. 

Well, Hajime has nothing to be anxious about. I’m pretty sure Uncle Tengan’s anger is directed both towards me and the situation at hand. After all, Hajime is the victim here. Unlike me, I have a fault in Uncle Tengan’s eyes — not telling him I found Hajime yesterday.

Well, I didn't inform him because I have my reasons.

“Okay, so correct me if I’m wrong.” Uncle Tengan says, he spreads both of his palms on the dining table and stands up, towering over Hajime and I while we are sitting comfortably on our seats... Well, Hajime is, at least.

“So you don’t remember where you’re from?” He directs his gaze towards Hajime.

Hajime shrugs his shoulders as a response.

“And the last thing you recall is that you woke up on the beach yesterday?” 

Hajime nods.

“Do you even remember who your parents are?”

Hajime shakes his head.

The old man huffs at Hajime’s predicament.

“And you,” He gestures his left hand in the air towards me, “You found him yesterday and you didn’t consider speaking to me or any of the authorities on the island?” 

I avoid his accusing stare, instead, I look at my clasped hands resting on the wooden table, feeling ashamed and not knowing what to tell him.

He sighs, “Nagito, don’t you know how irresponsible of a move that was?” He asks me, not really expecting me to answer. “What if he was in danger? or what if there was a way to bring him back to his family right away?” He shakes his head at how foolish my decisions were. "What if I didn't find out about it sooner? Did you expect to hide him from me for long?" With a loud and exasperated sigh he turns around and goes over to lean on the kitchen counter to take a breather.

He may be right, but I’m not nearly as irresponsible as he thinks. I did check Hajime for injuries. I even took him to my bed so he could rest. And the main reason why I didn't even consider seeking anyone’s help is because he’s a flipping alien! An extraterrestrial boy, who so happens to have crashed his spaceship down into the ocean floor. 

How was I supposed to tell anyone without them calling me crazy? I already have a bad reputation. Why in the world would I want to make it worse?

But then again, I still could have asked for help without accusing him of being a visitor from outer space. But it's too late now. I did what I did.

I look at Hajime who is looking back at me with an apologetic look. He mouths, “Sorry. This is all my fault.”

“No it isn’t.” I mouth back.

He looks back over at the old man to check on him and looks back at me.

I raise my eyebrow at him and I put my lips closer to his ear so he could hear me whisper. 

“What did you mean when you told him you don’t remember anything? Is it all true?” I ask. 

I sit back and wait for his response.

I know, he’s lying to Uncle Tengan and I think I know why. 

Because he is hiding the fact that he is an A. L. I. E. N.

He holds up his hand in a gesture that tells me to wait and he mouths “I’ll explain later.”

I nod at him and we both look back to Uncle Tengan who is done gathering his thoughts. he turns back around, deciding to face us. 

He looks so upset.

“Get your coats.” He says. “We’re walking to the police station.”

Well, I saw this coming. I hope at least they won't be taking Hajime away. He has nowhere to stay. 

Before we could reply to what he just said, Hajime’s stomach speaks for us. It growls in protest.

Both Uncle Tengan and I look at Hajime.

He just smiles a sheepish smile and laughs.

The old man huffs. “Okay, I think we can eat before we leave.” He says, his facial expression softening at Hajime.

Hajime gives him a polite smile and thanks him.

Uncle Tengan looks to my direction. “Let me just call your sister for dinner.” he tells me.

With that, he goes upstairs, leaving Hajime and I to set the table.

“You have a sister?” Hajime says, grabbing a bunch of plates while I prepare the food Uncle Tengan cooked before we arrived.

Uhh, yeah. It’s not that I forgot to tell him, it’s just, I didn’t want him knowing about her. Yet.

I had this paranoid thought this morning where in he’d leave me after finding a better friend. That’s why I made sure he didn’t see Chiaki during breakfast time, even though I thought Hajime was going to leave earth today.

“Uh, Yeah.” I say. “A twin sister, actually.” I add.

“A twin sister!?” Hajime says, a little too loudly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The excitement he’s expressing caused by the fact that I have a twin sister, is making me shake in jealousy. This is another reason why I didn’t want him to know. Why can’t he be this upbeat when he’s around me?

I nod, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Uhh... It crossed my mind?" I shrug.

He shakes his head disbelievingly but moves on to his next question. “Do you guys look the same?” He asks.

and before I could answer, Uncle Tengan, comes back down without Chiaki.

I sigh in relief. I guess I dodged a bullet tonight.

"She isn't eating with us again tonight. Tomorrow, she could join us perhaps." Uncle Tengan says.

I look at Hajime to see his reaction. His elation turns into disappointment which leaves me even more jealous of my sister.

I have a feeling Hajime might like her, or—worst case scenario—fall in love with her.

I shake my head to remove the thoughts out of my mind.

“Boys, let’s eat.”

.  
———  
.

Uncle Tengan is leading the both of us to the police station, leaving Hajime and I a few feet behind him, giving us space to talk.

I may have been worried when Hajime had a “surefire” plan to get home earlier, but right now, a hint of worry does not cross my mind. If my theory is correct —that Hajime is not from this world— then the authorities won’t have a chance on finding who his parents are. 

Plus, if Hajime really wanted to go home, then why would he tell Uncle Tengan he lost some of his memories? 

Unless he’s hiding something. Like being an alien. 

Coincidence? I think not.

“So, Amnesia?” I whisper and cock my eyebrow up.

“I told you, they won’t be able to find out who my parents are, even if I tell them their names. No one has internet where I’m from.” He whispers back.

“What about records? or identification?”

He bites his lip.

Checkmate.

“I doubt your officers can get their hands on any of our information.” He says.

Pfft. Right.

“What about the name of the place where you’re from. Why don’t you tell them? So they’d be able to send you home right away.”

“I’m pretty sure, even if I told them, they wouldn’t know where it is.”

I don’t pry any further since his answers have concluded my theories. I just continue on walking, enjoying the company and the night breeze.

.  
———  
.

The walk was a long and cold one. But now that we’re both sitting in front of the huge officer, who looks like he would start beating us up if he ever finds out we’ve lied to Uncle Tengan, I wasn’t feeling that cold anymore.

I swear, I could imagine him going head to head with Professor Gozu in the octagon. It would make the fight of the century.

“Nagito, please answer Mr. Sakakura” Uncle Tengan, scolds me from behind.

The officer looks at me with impatience and I swallow my saliva at my own nervousness. 

“Ah, sorry… I didn’t hear your question.”

“Where’d you first see the boy?” He asks.

“I found him when I was at the beach.”

Hajime nods his head in agreement.

“And you, you woke up on the shore yesterday afternoon with no clue on how you got there?” the officer asks, looking at Hajime.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any I.D.?”

“No, I must have lost it, somehow.”

“Can you describe to me the events of yest...“

The conversation becomes fuzzy and muffled as I begin to think of Hajime’s circumstances. 

I wonder what would happen to him if they don’t find any trace of his parents or any of his relatives?

Would they take him away?

Would they allow him to stay with us?

The latter would be great. I could imagine him living with us. He’d fit right in. 

I know, I’ve concluded that he’s an alien ten minutes ago, but now that were sitting here and now that I've had a chance to reflect on this during the walk, doubts began to start seeping into my mind, filling every crevice. I’m beginning to believe in the probability that he’s telling the truth -- That he is indeed from an obscure place with no such thing as internet or cellphones -- but at the same time it just doesn't make any sense, It’s very unlikely. He could tell them where he came from and he’d be home in a few days even though he thinks it would be hard to find it doesn't make it impossible.

But what if…

What if he’s been toying with my thoughts and feelings this whole time, making me believe he’s lost? What if he and his family are just visiting Jabberwock Island for a vacation and he had nothing else better to do than to fool me. I’d probably end up hating him if that were the case. And now, I can’t shake off the feeling that he’s lying. Everyone hates me and he probably does too, that’s why he’s pulling this prank on me.

No no no no no. I shouldn’t let my thoughts destroy our forming bond. Hajime isn't that kind of person... I think.

I quickly escape my paranoia and instead, I listen back to the blabbing policeman who seems to be wrapping things up. 

He finishes his typing and looks back at Hajime. 

“With not much information, it can take a while to trace who your parents are. As of now we’ve found no records with the family name ‘Hinata’ on this Island. Not even a single person has visited this Island in the past ten years with that family name.”

I sigh in relief inwardly.

_Then he’d be staying with us right?_

“We’d like to send you for a check up to see if you have any injuries and to check your mental health since you can’t seem to remember important details.” The policeman declares.

“Ahh. Is that necessary? I think I’m okay.” Hajime says and gives off a nervous laugh.

Hajime looks at me with eyes that are screaming ‘help’.

Before I could verbalize what’s on my mind and side with Hajime, Officer Juzo tells us it’s a requirement.

And before we could both protest, Uncle Tengan asks the cop if Hajime needs to be confined in the hospital.

“If the doctor finds out it’s nothing serious, then he doesn’t need to.” Officer Juzo says. “But he needs to get a check up everyday since it seems he is suffering from mental loss.”

“Okay then, since we can't find Hajime's parents would it be okay if he stayed with us in the mean time?”

“In normal circumstances, we wouldn’t allow that, but considering it’s with you, Mr Tengan, we could make the arrangements." The officer gives the old man a smile. "That is, if Hajime here, wants to.” He says and raises an eyebrow at him.

Hajime nods his head rapidly and it kind of melts my heart that he wants to stay with us.

Well, where else would he go?

The officer looks back at Uncle Tengan. “But as soon as we have contact with his parents or any of his relatives we need to take him immediately.”

My heart jumps in the air, Hajime will be staying at our place for as long as he needs to, and I don’t have to worry about hiding him from Uncle Tengan anymore. But then, my paranoia hit’s me with a baseball bat on the head. What would happen if he meets my sister? What if he falls in love and chooses to date my sister? Then he'd forget all about me.

I shudder at the thought.

After accomplishing the police report we head to the hospital for Hajime’s check-up.

.  
———  
.

After a long night, I finally step back into my home with hunched up shoulders. And before my foot hits the wooden stairs, the old man asks me if it would be okay for Hajime to sleep in my room for as long as he stays. 

I would have agreed immediately, but I masked my excitement with a brief pause before I gave my answer.

Before I continue climbing the stairs, Uncle Tengan tells us, “If you boys are hungry, I bought some treats.”

With that said, Hajime rushes over to the paper bags on the kitchen counter and grabs a box of Kusamochi. I roll my eyes at him.

"Thank you Mr. Tengan." he says, pausing before reaching the staircase.

"No problem Hajime. Let me know if you need anything."

We continue our way to my room, Hajime following right behind me with a package of the sweet snack.

As soon as my back hits the bed, I look at Hajime, who has already stuffed his face with Kusamochi, chewing away.

“Mphmphmph” He says, with his cheeks puffing.

I lift my eyebrow up. “What?”

He swallows the whole thing, surprising me that he didn’t choke right then and there. “I said where am I supposed to sleep if you’re on my bed?”

“ _Your_ bed?” I say with taunting sarcasm, and laughing at him, playfully.

“Yeah, _my_ bed.” He declares with a smug look, while pointing at himself with his thumb.

“You aren’t sleeping on my bed tonight. My back has been throbbing the whole day.” I say, rubbing my back in the process.

He puffs his cheeks. “Fine,” he says “But incase I don't go home by tomorrow, can I sleep on the bed tomorrow night then?”

“We’ll see.” I say, still laughing at him.

 

.  
———  
.

Despite being tired out of my mind, I find myself huddled up under the covers, staring at my bedroom wall, fully awake. My mind is flooded with thoughts of the sleeping boy on the floor. I breathe out into the air and I turn my body towards Hajime. His slow rhythmic breaths put me into a state of peace, but it isn’t enough to put me to sleep. 

Instead of closing my eyes, I stare at the bundle of hair sticking out of his head. To my surprise, it twitches just like it did yesterday. I rub my eyes to make sure I’m not imagining things. 

It twitches again. 

I pull my covers off and tiptoe to the boy sprawled on my bedroom floor. I bring my face closer to the spike of hair, observing it ever so carefully, making sure not to get too close to it, fearing it might betray me and stab me in the eye.

I slowly raise my hand and hover it over the brown heap of hair. I bring my hand closer to rest my palm on it, rubbing it over and over again like I’m petting a dog. 

It doesn’t do anything out of the ordinary. It just sways with the movement of my hand like any normal set of hair would do. 

I take my index finger and my thumb and pinch it. 

I rub it in between my digits and the hair separates into strands. I let go and continue to watch it. 

After staring at it with skepticism for five minutes straight like an idiot, I tell myself it’s just a bunch of hair.

I’m probably imagining things again. 

The feeling of doubt and frustration well up on the inside of me again. 

'If he’s an alien shouldn’t he have a physical difference compared to us humans?' I think to myself.

I ponder on the question for a few minutes all the while looking at him for such clues. But to no avail, I sigh, and give up for the night.

I head over to my desk and I turn the lamp on. 

If I can’t sleep, then I should at least do something productive. I take out my first, four journals and scan the pages. I normally read it when I’m down in the dumps but I guess I could read a couple of passages, right now, out of boredom.

Reading some of the entries in the past made me feel happy and calm. But right now, I’m feeling quite the opposite. it’s making me melancholic for some reason. 

I close my old journals and look at Hajime. I give out a sigh. I set my journals back down, close to the edge of my desk.

Instead of reading further, I grab my pen and start a new fresh page on my fifth journal.

I scribble away, not really minding the time that’s flying by.

When I get to the last line of my journal, I feel myself about to doze off. I spread my arms across the desk and I hear some stuff fall to the floor.

I don’t mind it, because right now, sleep is already embracing my body.

.  
———  
.

Hajime scowls at me while gritting his teeth. 

“What the hell, Nagito.” He rubs his lower back with both his hands. 

“Why’d you make me sleep on the floor last night, when you slept on your desk the whole time?” He says with annoyance. 

“It’s not like I meant to fall asleep while writing.” I tell him and give him a sheepish laugh while he just looks at me with an angry adamant stare.

“Well, If ever I don't get home by today I’m not sleeping on the floor tonight.” He demands.

“Fine, fine. We can arrange things later, But right now, what are we doing here anyway?” I ask.

We are standing on the sands in front of the secret cave, with heavy bags on our shoulders. My backpack is filled with both of our packed lunches and some extra clothes in case I decide to swim and his suitcase is filled with who knows what.

“Today, I have a better plan and you’re gonna help me get home.” He smiles. 

I frown.

His smile turns into a look of annoyance and it’s directed towards me. He probably took my face as a way of saying ‘I don’t want to help you.’ but it’s more of a ‘I don’t want you to go home yet.’“If you don’t want to help, then that’s fine. You can just watch me or—.”

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” I say. “It’s just that…”

“It’s just what?” He looks at me with curiosity.

“I don’t want to lose you, and I want you to stay, because I consider you in a high regard, you are my first and only friend after all.” is what I wanted to say, but instead I settle with “It’s nothing.”

He just looks at me weirdly for a few second and then he proceeds to let his suitcase sit on the sand. He interlaces both his hands and stretches it outward to crack his knuckles.

“Let’s get to work then.” He says.

We spend the whole morning gathering rocks and stones. He hasn’t told me anything yet, so I just follow his orders, fearing I might offend the brunette further if I question him.

I plop down the seventh set of stones I’ve gathered and wipe the sweat that’s coating my forehead with my bare arm. 

“Can we take a break?” I say.

“Actually, we’re done gathering. All that’s left to do is arrange them.”

“Arrange them?” I ask.

“Yep, I’ll explain it while we eat our lunches.” He says, licking his lips while rubbing his stomach. 

“Sounds good to me.” I say, feeling as hungry as he is.

I grab my bag and we both head to the cave to stay shaded and cool.

We sit down on dry rocks, and I open my bag to get the sandwiches out. I grab both and toss him one.

I look at him, and he’s happily trying to fiddle the ziplock bag, his excitement rendering him unable to open it. I smile at the scene.

When I look down and open mine, Hajime’s already eaten half of his with the plastic bag, ripped open sitting beside him.

I take a bite, and after swallowing the piece I ask him, “So, what about the rocks?”

He chews with his mouth full of food and points at a symbol embroidered on his shirt’s hem.

I lean in closer to get a better look at it. After looking at the image I look back up at him, waiting for him to explain.

As soon as he’s done grinding the food in his mouth he says, “It’s my school emblem.”

“So you want us to form your school logo on the sand with the stones we gathered?” I say, grasping his plan.

“Yup, and when they decide to look for me using a—“

“Spaceship.” I say.

He just rolls his eyes at the comment and carries on. “…a helicopter, and if they see the emblem, they’ll know I’m here.”

“Okay, good plan.” I say as I take another bite of my sandwich while he takes his last.

I can’t help it, but my anxiety over him leaving comes barging in my mind’s doors again.

.  
———  
.

I sit back up from the rock that I was resting my head on. I look over to where Hajime was sitting earlier. And to my surprise, he’s still sitting there under the heat of the sun, It looks like he hasn’t moved a muscle since I dozed off earlier. I couldn’t help it, I was so tired from gathering and arranging those rocks under the early afternoon heat of the sun.

I check the time using my phone. It’s been over an hour since I fell asleep.

I look back at the waiting boy, studying him. From my perspective, I see him right at the center of the cave opening. He’s hugging his legs, resting his chin on them. He looks like he’s in a bad mood, probably disappointed from all that waiting. 

The whole thing looks like a sad painting from here. I take the opportunity to snap a photo of him using my phone. It may not be the time to take photos but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity for a good shot that's probably what's going to be a reminder of a memory.

I stand back up and my heart starts beating fast with pain and worry spreading in my body at every pump it makes.

I feel really bad for him. He’s been waiting there for hours, and no one has showed up, to pick him up.

I know, I don’t want him to leave, but the sight of him being all angry and sad makes me furious at his family or friends for not showing up.

_Don’t they care about him?_

With that thought, I am hit with familiarity. His situation is like a reflection to my own. Maybe he’s just like me? All alone, wherever he lives. 

When I approach him, he doesn’t move or look my way, his eyes are fixed on the horizon. 

I sit down beside him and we both stare into the the split line that seperates sea and sky.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Hm, yeah,” 

I look at him and he looks back with a small smile. “Tired, is all.” He says.

That small smile says it all, it’s a facade. I’ve learned to perfect those kinds of smiles since I was little. It's my defense mechanism, to let people leave me alone. It was a way of telling them I was okay, when in reality, I was feeling quite the opposite.

I want to do something about it, I want to let him know I’m there for him. But what if he rejects me? Just like the hug I gave him yesterday.

I bite my lip and just take the plunge, pushing my fears and doubts in the back of my mind. 

I put my hand over his shoulder and I look at him in the eyes. He looks back, a bit startled at the sudden gesture.

“I said, I’m okay.” He says and tries to shrug my hand off but I don’t let go.

“I know you want to go home. Whether they find you soon or not, I’ll be here for you.” I tell him.

He just stares at me, creating awkward tension for me until he starts laughing.“Don’t say corny stuff like that.” he says in between laughs.

Before I let go of his shoulder, he stops laughing and he smiles at me. 

“But yeah, Thanks.” he says, with genuine happiness in his eyes.

I let go, and I feel a warmth blanketing over my heart. 

He stands up and stretches his arms into the air. He looks back at me after his stretch.

“I think I’ll be staying here for a while now, so you can be ‘here’ for me until you get tired. Now, let’s just forget this and go and have some fun.”

Before I can ask what he meant by ‘staying here for a while’, he runs off to the ocean.

“C’mon” he shouts and waves at me.

I smile, stand up and chase after him.

.  
———  
.

It was getting late so Hajime and I, decide to head back home. It seems that today’s activities didn’t go as planned for him. No one showed up, no boats. no helicopters, no alien spaceships, nothing.

I look at him, and this time, he doesn’t seem bothered by it. I guess our swimming session took his mind off it.

But something bothered me though. 

I was caught off guard when he took his shirt off in front of me, for the first time.

He had the body of a human teenage boy. Sure he was a bit more muscular than the average person but come on, I was expecting parts of his body that would give his alien identity away. Maybe, like a discoloration of skin, or an extra arm but to my disappointment, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. 

I want to touch it... Uhh, just to make sure that he isn’t an alien of course…

After too much absent-mindedly staring at him, he noticed me. And to make things more awkward for me, he's laughing, making an inappropriate joke of me being into dudes. I blush at the comment. I also start stuttering, I couldn’t think of an explanation as to why I was looking at him like that.

To be honest, his joke hurt. But hey, at least he finally stopped laughing. He probably finally noticed I was getting uncomfortable. I brush the joke off, not wanting to overthink and ruin the fun. He runs farther into the ocean until he's swimming and I follow his direction.

.  
———  
.

After a few more hours of just swimming and hanging out, we are finally home after such a long day.

I grab the doorknob and swing the door open. We both step inside the house and the first thing we see is Uncle Tengan talking on the phone. 

Before we decide to head to my room the old man motions us to stop.

“Yes, yes. Okay. Thank you.” He says to whoever he was talking to on his phone, and he swipes the red button. 

Uncle Tengan looks at Hajime and I can’t help but feel anxious.

“That was the police. They’re coming over.”


	6. The Journals

**Journal 2  
Entry #45**

**9 February 2011  
Wednesday**

It’s been a few months since I’ve been trying to figure out these feelings I’ve been having. It came to me like an unexpected whirlwind trying to tear my sanity into shreds. 

This confusing state manifested when I was too young to understand it. The young me just shrugged it off as being different from the rest of the individuals around me. 

It was until a few months ago that the revelation hit me, like a big signage that came crashing down in front of me with big bold letters for me to read. 

The signage read “Nagito, you’re gay.” in bright red flashing lights.

I came to the realization by simply reflecting on the entirety of my existence in the comfort of my own bedroom floor. 

I was laying down on the surface when I thought that: my whole life, I’ve liked no one in particular, no crushes, no puppy love. But recently, I kept finding myself looking at guys from time to time, hungry for having intimate relationships with some of them. The reason I think why I’d just started getting interested with guys was because I was hitting puberty.

I tried thinking of my girl classmates the same way, but it just didn’t work. It didn’t feel the same.

And that was when I realized I’m gay.

It’s not like I can control it. The thoughts just come popping up into my head.

If you asked me how I felt about it a few weeks ago, I’d have to say that I didn’t like it at all. I craved to get rid of my feelings. I didn’t want to like guys. I wanted to like girls. 

I wanted to be normal. 

On this island, I’ve never heard of guys getting it on with other dudes and I’ve never seen girls liking other girls. It made me feel as if there was something wrong with my inner workings.

I’ll be honest. I felt scared. I kept thinking people would make fun of me, my parents would disown me, Chiaki would hate me, but after mustering all the courage inside of me, making a game plan on how I’d go about this, gaining motivation by watching coming out videos on the internet I finally told everyone I cared about during the course of this week.

First, I came out to my sister a few days ago. I had to pull her to a spot near the school and I made sure no one was around to hear us. 

I remember stuttering a lot and thinking about changing the subject, deciding not to talk about it at all but one thought stopped me — “I had to”. 

I wanted it out of my system. I wanted to let her know of one aspect of me that feels important. So I risked it, I told her everything. She didn’t say a word at first which got me all sweaty from anxiety, but then she moved closer to me and she hugged me. 

I didn’t really feel a heavy weight lift off of my shoulders just like what other people felt when they came out. But one thing’s for sure, I truly felt happy. 

One person accepting me for who I was, is enough for me, but because it was Chiaki who did, I felt like nothing would go wrong, I became confident in coming out to other people. It didn’t matter if they didn’t accept me, I had my sister on my side. If I were to choose one single person to accept me for who I am, it would definitely be her.

A few days have passed and I decided to tell my parents over dinner. It wasn’t that easy when I grabbed their attention. Thankfully my sister was there to encourage me with a simple gaze. It got me to be confident in myself, It’s really nice that she’s always there for me no matter what. So I stood up and I told my parents.

I almost cried when they told me they still loved me and they’d be there for me no matter who I chose to love. 

I think I won the lottery when it came to family. I was lucky to have them.

The next set of people I told were my friends. It happened today during lunch. We were all seated on our usual table, eating and chatting like we always do, but for some reason, Mondo, asks me if I was okay. I think he has this power where he can read people’s feelings quite easily.

Apparently those words were heard by everyone on our table. Fuyuhiko, Souda, Chiaki, Hiyoko and Mahiru’s attentions were now on me.

I looked over at Chiaki, and as if she could read my mind, she nodded and I nodded back.

That's when I decided I had to tell everyone.

Now that I’m recalling and writing what happened for the past few days, I somewhat feel stupid. Stupid, because I had doubt that my friends and family wouldn't accept me for who I was. I was silly to think they’d stop being there for me. Well, I couldn’t blame myself for thinking such things. Sometimes people just don't understand but here I am, truly graced by the universe to have great people surrounding me.

But now, all the awkwardness and frustrations are behind me. I’m happy for who I am. And I’m thankful I have people who can support that.

I know that this sounds cliché, but now that I’m thinking back on everything, If the universe ever presented me a switch that would turn me straight, with all the troubled thoughts I’ve had, the fears that kept me up until the early hours of the morning, the paranoia that told me people would start leaving me once they knew I was gay, I’d choose not to flick the switch despite of it all. Without these feelings, I wouldn't know how big the love of the people around me had.

I may be different from the majority of people, but I’am happy for who I am nonetheless.

.  
———  
.

———————————————————————————————————————————

**Chapter 6:  
The Journals**

Now, I can say that I know the feeling of what it’s like helplessly waiting with deep-seated anxiety clutching on your very soul while you sit on an old and dirty couch. It felt like I was waiting for eternity for something to happen. Only, I wasn’t that worried for myself. What I was really worried about was for the boy seated right next to me.

That’s how I felt anticipating for the arrival of the officers, and now that they’ve finally decided to show up, the worry that’s been clutching my chest and whispering to my ears the whole time grew more in size. It’ll be a couple of minutes from now before we get to find out Hajime’s fate. 

According to Uncle Tengan, the officers needed to see Hajime A.S.A.P. and that meant a lot of different things to me.

Did they find out he’s an alien?

Was I wrong all this time and they found out where Hajime’s parents are?

Would they be taking Hajime away from me?

I gulp and I look at Hajime who is a cushion away. He’s sweating and twiddling his fingers. It's the first time I see him this worried. In fact, I'm wondering to myself what he's exactly worried about. But whatever the reason is, I want to calm him down and tell him that everything’s going to be okay, but I too need comfort since I have a plate of troubling thoughts right in front of me.

The officers are talking to Uncle Tengan in the hallway but their voices come out too muffled to hear. It sounds like serious business.

I scoot over a little to my left to take a good look at the officers. I see the familiar face of one of them, specifically the big muscular cop who interviewed Hajime last night. 

I move a little further until I see the second officer. I can’t make up his face but he has white hair like mine.

I move back to my original position and stare at the ground as they stopped talking.

The officers enter the living room and they take the empty seats across from us. I turn my face up to get a good look of both of them before I decide to make my world smaller by staring at something the whole evening.

_Hey that coffee table looks interesting._

I dart my eyes a couple of times from the pair right in front of us, from the white haired policeman to the steroid addicted officer, studying their contrasting features. 

“Hajime, Nagito, I believe you remember officer Sakakura. This on the other hand is Officer Kyosuke Munakata.” Uncle Tengan says, motioning us to look at the new face. Uncle Tengan then proceeds to sit down on the single sofa to my left.

My eyes dart back to the police partners. I’d have to admit both of them looked like they’d make a cute couple if they were together.

I blush at the thought because for some reason the both of them reminded me of Hajime and I.

Does that mean we’d look like a cute couple too?

_Wait, what?_

The voice of the old man pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Are you okay? You’re looking a little red.” Uncle Tengan says. Everyone's eyes are on me.

Judging by their expressions I might have been blushing at officer Munakata the whole time.

“Ah, It’s n-nothing,” I say, now copying Hajime’s twirling of fingers earlier.

Wait a minute… Officer Munakata looks familiar. Isn’t he Instructor Chisa’s boyfriend. 

“It’s nice to meet you Hajime and Nagito.” Officer Munakata says.

So why does Officer Sakakura look like he’s into Officer Mun— Oh. Okay, I think I understand what’s going on here.

“So, Hajime, it looks like we have big news for you.” The white haired officer announces with confidence.

“What is it?” Hajime and I say simultaneously. 

Everyone except for Hajime looks at me weirdly.

“Our team has found someone you may be related with.” Officer Sakakura says.

Each of my eyes grow as big as the moon. I look at Hajime and his eyes looks even bigger than mine.

“Wha—“ Hajime tries to speak, but he ends up getting cut off.

“We haven’t confirmed it yet, but do you recognize this person?” Officer Munakata says while lifting a photo for Hajime to see.

I get a glimpse of the photo, and I see an older male version of Hajime with the same hairstyle and same hair color. He looks like he could be Hajime’s father in my opinion.

“No, I don’t” Hajime says.

Officer Sakakura raises an eyebrow. “Towa city. Ever heard of it?” he says. “It’s not very far from here, so that may explain how you arrived at this island with no sign of a ship or plane wreckage. You must have had an accident on Towa's shore or you probably fell from a boat and ended up here.” 

Hajime looks at the officer in the eyes and shakes his head.

“You probably don’t remember because of your memory loss.” Sakakura says with an irritated expression, his hand clutching the side of his forehead.

“Well, it isn’t confirmed yet.” Officer Munakata interjects, contrasting his partner’s irritation with a calm and composed demeanor. “We can get back to you as soon as we contact him. If it’s confirmed then you’d be transported back to Towa City, right away.”

“B-but he isn’t anyone I know. And I’m not from Towa city.” Hajime says, slamming his fists on the table, causing all of us to flinch and stare at him. “Uhh… Sorry. I’m pretty sure I’m not from there.” He looks to the side with a downcast gaze.

“Like I said, It isn’t confirmed yet.” Munakata says. “Now if you don't have anymore questions, I guess we’re done for now.” He looks at Uncle Tengan and nods. 

The officers thank Uncle Tengan and proceed to leave. But before they do, I hear Munakata say “Tch, I bet it’s another running away from home kind of case. These spoiled kids, they never learn.”

I look at Hajime and he just has his gaze set on the living room floor.

.  
———  
.

My room is quiet. I’m sitting at my desk and Hajime is sitting on the edge of my bed. Fifteen minutes have passed since the officers took their leave and we haven’t said a word since then.

A lot of questions are swimming in my mind. Actually, It’s been the same questions since I’ve met Hajime, but now it’s even more confusing to figure out and it’s hurting me every time I try to dive deeper into it.

Contemplating on it alone will make no difference. There’s only one way to find out.

“So Hajime,” He looks up at me.

“Let me guess, the officers’s findings made you question your beliefs on me being an alien?” He laughs a little.

Before I could protest he continues.

“I think you already know the answer to that.” He says.

“I was actually going to ask you if they were right.”

“I know it’s the most logical explanation there is. But you have to believe me.” He says with pleading eyes. “I’m not from wherever that city is.”

“Then who’s the guy in the picture?”

“I don’t know. I’m not related to him, that’s for sure.” He says with his eyes cast to the side. “Look, you have to help me.”

“Why?” I ask. I don’t know what to believe in anymore. What if he’s just running away from his Dad just like what officer Munakata said.

“Because if you don’t, they’re going to take me away, farther from where my people can find me. And I may never get home if that happens.” He says. 

“Fine, but how do we prove you aren’t from Towa city?”

“That’s what I’ve been thinking of this whole time.” He says.

“Well, maybe if you told them the truth you wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

Before Hajime could argue someone knocks at my door. “Nagito, Hajime, it’s time to eat.” Uncle Tengan calls. 

“Okay.” I tell him.

When I hear his footsteps get softer I look back at Hajime who looks like he’s about to drool from hunger.

“Let’s go, we can talk about this later.”

“Fine by me.” Hajime says and we race downstairs.

Before I get to sit on my spot, I stop, causing Hajime to crash behind me. A rare occurrence has stunned me from reaching my destination.

I stare in disbelief and I inwardly curse and panic, as I see no other than Chiaki sitting across from where I’ll be sitting and it looks like she’s already in a trance looking at Hajime.

“Chiaki, this is our guest that I was talking about. His name is Hajime.”

“Hi.” She says meekly. 

That’s the first time I hear her say anything in a long time and I’m already exploding in jealousy.

I look at Hajime and I immediately regret it. 

Now I feel worse. 

He’s staring at her like she’s some kind of kusamochi goddess or something. His face lights up brighter as the hands of the clock tick by.

“H-hi, I’m Hajime” He says. 

Oh great, now he’s stuttering.

I sit down and eat my meal quietly, trying to block out everything else.

Nobody seems to be talking except Uncle Tengan who’s blabbing about something he read on his space magazine again. 

This get’s me curious since Hajime and Chiaki aren’t talking to each other. Maybe it was all in my imagination? 

I stop looking at my plate for once, and I look at Chiaki who is eating quietly staring at her food. I then turn my head towards Hajime and he’s still staring at my sister.

I sigh inwardly and instead I try to listen to what Uncle Tengan had to say just to try to ignore Hajime.

.  
———  
.

“Hey, is something the matter?” Hajime says with kusamochi in his mouth. This time, he’s got two boxes of the sweets.

I just stare at him and he blinks at me with puffed up cheeks filled with Kusamochi just like what hamsters do with a bunch of pumpkin seeds.

Instead of answering his question I bury my face into my pillow. 

He moves in closer and sits on the bed beside me. It sort of makes me feel a little better, that he cares about me.

“What’s wrong?” he says and places a hand on my shoulder. The touch sends shivers down my spine.

I shake my head in response, my face still hiding in the pouch of cotton. He let’s go off me and I find myself already missing the contact.

“Why do you have to be such a child?” He says, I can hear irritation to his voice but it’s mixed with a bit of playfulness. “Here.” he adds.

Confused, I separate my face from the pillow to look at him and he’s holding the last piece of Kusamochi to my face.

I raise my eyebrow to question him but he’s looking away, blushing and pouting at the same time. 

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I finished all your Kusamochi and didn’t ask you if you wanted any.”

I give out a huff, and plop my head back down to the pillow.

It’s his turn to get confused.

“C’mon, don’t be that way. Here, just take it.” he says.

“Mph mph mph” I say, my words being obstructed by my pillow.

“What?” he asks.

I move my head to the side so I can speak properly.  
“I said, I don’t want any Kusamochi.” and just like that, he plops the last piece into his mouth in one go.

His sudden change in action makes me laugh a little. 

“What?” He says while chewing the whole thing. “You said, you didn’t want any. So what’s the problem.”

“It’s not that. I’m not really fond of sweets.” I say.

“So why are you being all sad all of a sudden?”

I look off to the floor and I say “It’s nothing.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll feel better.” He says. “You can always talk to me if you need someone to lend an ear. So tell me when you’re ready.” He adds. 

Before I can thank him, he continues, “So, any ideas on how I can prove that I’ve never been to Towa? Or how I’ve never met that guy in the picture?”

I stroke my chin with my hand. After a couple of seconds of trying to think of something, I respond, “Nope,” 

“I’m sure we’ll think of something.” I add. I plop my back down on the bed so I’m facing the ceiling and he does the same, laying down beside me.

He gives out a long and deep sigh and he scrunches a bunch of his hair with his hand.

I turn my head to face him and he does the same. I quickly turn to face the opposite direction instead. I’ve never been this close to him, except for the hug I gave him yesterday. I can feel my face heating up. Why do I feel this way?

We lay down there in silence for a few minutes and I can hear his breaths getting longer and gentler.

“Hey Nagito.” He says, in a sleepy dazed voice.

“Hm?”

“Where are you sleeping tonight?”

I sit up and look at him.

“What?” He says with sleepy eyes and a cocked up eyebrow.

“You’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” I say. “There’s no way I’m sleeping on the floor. I don’t want my back to go crazy again.”

“Huh, but you told me earlier It would be my turn sleeping on your bed tonight. Plus you slept at your desk. I had to endure all the pain for nothing.” He says, now fully awake again. He gives me an angry look.

“You can sleep anywhere, but I’m sleeping on my bed tonight.” I tell him.

“Anywhere?”

I lift an eyebrow. “Yeah, anywhere.”

“Then I’m sleeping on the bed too. Because there’s no way I’m sleeping on your cold floor again.” He announces and stands up.

I’m too stunned at his decision so I just watch him as he makes his way to the bathroom.

This is going to be a problem…

.  
———  
.

It’s already ten in the evening and Hajime’s already sound asleep. I look at him and he’s just drooling away on one of my pillows. I look back at my desk and continue writing under the gentle light of fluorescent lamp.

I couldn’t sleep next to Hajime, so I decided to write today’s journal entry instead. 

I plop my fifth journal down onto the desk and before I open it, I refresh my self with today’s memories.

Today has been a roller coaster ride for me and my emotions. From happy, when I was spending the time with Hajime on the beach, to worried since I was scared he’d be going home, to dead-anxious because of the cops, to jealousy because of my sister. And now, I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore.

I then grab my pen, open my journal and start jotting down everything that took place today, down to every detail.

After writing, I close my journal and keep it somewhere hidden. I always have this paranoid feeling of someone finding it and reading it. 

I turn the lamp off and I pause for a bit, reflecting on everything.

I guess Hajime is the only gift that the universe has given me. But it’s a gift that’s meant as a joke. The universe just wanted to remind me of what I can never have. And now all the odds of Hajime staying with me are all against me. 

I sigh, stand up and crawl back to bed slowly, not wanting to disrupt Hajime’s sleep.

I pull myself under the covers that we are now sharing and I look at his sleeping face and I study him once more.

I puff my cheeks at the sight and scrunch my eyebrows together. Why did I have to delude myself into believing that he’s an alien? Thinking that there’d be a chance of him staying a little bit longer.

He’s just a normal human teenager that lives in some place I’ve probably never heard of if not Towa city.

Right?

The longer I stare at him, the more doubtful I’m getting. An idea suddenly pops into my head. If this was a cartoon there would be a lightbulb floating on top of my head that’s giving out a golden glow right now.

If he isn’t an alien, then he should have a normal human heart beat.

I crawl closer to the sleeping boy beside me and I place my ear on his chest.

I sigh, because it sounds like a normal person’s heartbeat to me.

Before I can go back to my side of the bed, Hajime turns, and squeezes his arm around me.

Fear hits me. I go on panic mode, horrified at the thought that Hajime thinks I’m taking advantage of him while he’s sleeping. And now, he’s going to beat me up like those guys at school. 

I close my eyes, preparing myself for what’s coming.

“Hajime, I’m sorry. Please don’t. I didn’t mean to. Hajime. It’s just a misunderstanding.” I say, trying to talk myself away from trouble.

“H-hajime?” I say, and open one eye to look at him.

I look up from his chest, to check if he’s furious with me, but he’s apparently still asleep. 

My body relaxes and I sigh. I take in the embrace for a few minutes and I just rest the side of my face on his shirt.

He smells like the summer air with hints of the ocean mixed with sweat. I blush furiously but I don’t try to escape the position we are in.

This feels really nice. Like I’m safe from the rest of the world. 

I wrap an arm around him. How I wish we could stay like this forever. I don’t want to let him go. 

He’s the only person who ever showed deep and genuine care for me. Everyone else who said they cared for me seemed like they did, but only because it was their obligation to do so. Just like my professors and Uncle Tengan.

Hajime’s friendship is like a treasure that’s never meant to be mine.

He’ll just leave and I’ll always be alone…

I feel myself tearing up. I try to stop the flow but it just keeps coming. Hajime’s shirt is getting wet but I don’t care anymore.

I hug him tighter, afraid that if I let him go he’ll disappear.

“K-Komaeda!?” Hajime shouts, in a repulsed manner. I let go immediately. The tone in his voice is stinging my soul. He crawls backwards kicking me on the shoulder in the process.

I laugh a sad laugh. “Ah. I’m sorry Hajime.”

“What are you—“

I turn my head up to face him and his angry eyes soften.

“I’m sorry.” Is all I can muster myself to say as I try to tone down my sobbing.

It’s too late now. I ruined everything.

“Hey,” he comes closer to me and shushes my crying. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, I was just surprised by you.”

He hugs me and I try my best not to hug him back, scared that he’d hate me if I do.

“What’s wrong Nagito? You’ve been acting strange a lot since this afternoon.”

“Y-you’re gonna leave.” I say in between hiccups.

He laughs lightly and gently rubs my back. “You’re worried about that?”

“I want us to be friends Hajime, but you’re leaving and you’ll forget about me.”

“We are friends.” He says. “And besides. I don’t think I am leaving anytime soon. I’m gonna be here for a while and why do you think I’d forget about you?” 

“What do you mean?” I ask. “B-but your”

He shushes me in a gentle way. “Believe me, Nagito.”

He pauses for a bit, trying to get me to relax. “Yesterday, you asked me if I could visit you if i leave.”

“Yeah?” I whisper

“I didn’t say yes right away because I’m not sure on how I’d be getting back. But I can promise you, I’ll do my best to see you again when I leave. Okay?” 

I nod. His warm words blankets around my heart.

“Now, let’s go back to sleep.” He says.

He drags me slowly back down onto the bed, my head to his chest, and his arms still wrapping around me tightly.

I bury my face in his chest and I smile.

I find comfort in his promise and I believe in every word he says. I drift off to sleep, finally finding deep peace in this life of mine.

.  
———  
.

I wake up to the sunlight hitting my face and I find myself resting my head on Hajime’s chest. I feel myself blush at our situation. Is it normal for guy friends to be hugging as they fall asleep? I don’t really know the answer to that, but I smile at last night’s memory anyway. 

It look’s like it’s going to be a good day today.

I raise my head slowly to get a glimpse of him. He’s still asleep and snoring lightly. I get off him, careful not to wake him up.

As I sit on the edge of my bed I hear a light knock on my door. 

“Nagito, you awake?” Uncle Tengan says from the other side of the door.

What does he want now? 

“You need to get ready. You have to help me with the groceries.”

Oh yeah, I forgot. It’s shopping day.

I open the door ajar and I nod at him when he looks at me.

“Hajime can stay, I’m sure we won’t take long.” he says.

I close the door when Uncle Tengan turns around and I look at Hajime who is now rubbing his eyes, sitting on the bed.

“Is it time for breakfast?.” He asks.

I smile at him. “Yeah, let’s go.”

We both get ready and head down for breakfast, The first thing I see is Chiaki who is sitting there with soggy cereal in front of her, just like always.

I watch Hajime as he goes over to her.

A pang of jealousy hits me again. I grunt quietly in dismay.

“Are those cats?” He asks her.

Her eyes grow wide in surprise, but she’s still staring and concentrating on her game.

“Yeah.” She squeaks.

“So what’s the goal of the game?” He asks.

“You see, I have to destroy the enemies base with my cat units.”

“That looks fun.” He says.

I continue to stare at the both of them as irritation is getting a hold of me.

“Are those your cat units fighting a giant floating face on the moon?” He says in bewilderment while pointing at the screen.

“Yep.” She says, and I can see the smile casting on her face while her eyes are lighting up.

That look she’s giving off makes my heart melt, and all the jealousy is flowing right off me. She’s smiling again, after such a long time. 

I shouldn’t be feeling bad I should be happy. This is my sister after all.

Instead of feeling jealous of the both of them, I let this one slide as I take in the moment.

.  
———  
.

It’s 4pm and I’m waiting in line with Uncle Tengan. It looks like it took way longer than expected.

I can’t help it but I’m imagining things happening at home between Hajime and my sister. I glare at the backs of the people in front of me. For such a small island with a few inhabitants this is such a long line.

What’s up with Uncle Tengan anyway? deciding on leaving Hajime alone at home with Chiaki. 

Doesn't he know it’s bad leaving a teenage boy and a teenage girl alone together in a completely private area?

I just try my best to shake off the nagging thoughts as I clutch onto the folding mattress that Uncle Tengan’s buying for Hajime.

Well, that means no more hugs in bed from Hajime, but at least we can both sleep comfortably now.

Wait, but why are we buying him a mattress when Uncle Tengan knows that Hajime’s leaving soon.

“Uncle Tengan,” I grab his attention.

“Hmm?” he says while looking at the new issue of Space and Beyond magazine.

“Why are we buying a mattress?”

He stops goggling over the magazine. “It’s for Hajime, is it not?” He asks, like I don’t know that. His sarcastic remark annoys me.

“But didn’t the officers find his Dad or something?”

“I don’t think that’s his Dad, Nagito. I’m certain he’s staying with us for a while.”

Before I can continue to question him, someone calls my attention.

“Sir, you’re next in line.”

I look to the cashier lady and I smile an apologetic smile.

.  
———  
.

I rush to the house with seven bags of groceries in my arms.

Normally, I’d have a hard time carrying four bags at the same time. It’s surprising how much strength you can get with adrenaline and panic pumping in your veins. 

I put the bags down the kitchen counter and I scan the area like a S.W.A.T. officer on a tactical mission.

Aha! Hajime and Chiaki aren’t in the living room or the kitchen. They must be doing the deed. 

I bolt upstairs with full force and head for Chiaki’s bedroom.

I try to open the door but it’s locked.

No no no no no no no.

I head to my room, thinking that I can probably spot them doing it by using a mirror through my bedroom window or something.

As I open the door to my room, I find something that’s nearly as bad as catching them in the act. 

It’s Hajime on my bed. 

…

And he’s reading my journal!

He looks at me with an innocent smile, like he isn’t doing anything wrong.

“Hey, Nagito. What’s up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the long wait. I’ve been busy with life and exploring digital art, but most of all, I’ve recently felt that my writing is dry, that’s the main reason why I haven’t updated this recently. But I do promise I will finish it. I just hope you guys will enjoy the ending, but hey I can’t please everyone right? hehe.
> 
> I’m also thinking of making conceptual art for this fic, (But don’t expect anything grand, I’m a beginner when it comes to art) maybe some visuals on how I imagine the different places of the island to be. I’ve done one piece, just a simple animation and it’s posted on my tumblr.
> 
> https://ahogeadventures.tumblr.com/
> 
> But anyways, I hope that I can update regularly. If ever you don’t see me update it within a week, please expect the update to be within the following week. If you guys have questions, feel free to message me on here, or my instagram.
> 
> Again, I’m open to criticism, so please feel free to tell me how you feel about the story or my grammar, writing style or if you see any loopholes to my story. It would really help me grow.
> 
> You can leave a comment on the story or leave me a private message, whatever you feel most comfortable with. 
> 
> So, see you guys. Thank you so much!
> 
> Oh, and by the way, who knows the game Chiaki’s playing? I’m currently addicted to it. Hah!


	7. Fiction

**Journal 4  
Entry #27**

**24 September 2014  
Wednesday**

The room was dark, but I was able to see the boy next to me since he was lightly illuminated by the cool shades of blue light given out by the big screen in front of us; I could make up the outline of his soft facial features easily. The blue glow made him look celestial. 

The smell of butter and the fragrant notes of his cologne lingered in the air, and aside from the loud music I could hear him chewing on the last bits of popcorn from the extra large bucket we shared. I could make up the sound as he bit into the salty snack since my head was firmly rested on his shoulder. 

I remember looking at our interlaced fingers and I remember smiling with contentment. I squeezed his hand and looked up at him as the credits started rolling. He looked at me with a matching smile and it gave me a rush of happiness.

He told me he wanted to spend more time with me but I was hesitant at first. It’s a Wednesday night after all and we had school the next day but I gave in anyway. Who could say “no” to him when he showed those big pleading eyes of his? So we waited for everyone else to exit the cinema. When it was clear, we made our way to the next destination. 

There were flashing bright neon lights everywhere and blaring music from every direction. The sounds, chatters and laughters of students mingled all around us. I could see people the same age as us playing different games that the arcade had to offer: There were a pair of students dancing on a machine, another was hogging the guitar arcade game while everyone watched him in awe as he slid his fingers up and down the fretboard of the plastic instrument and the rest of the students were playing with the old retro game machines.

Makoto pulled me towards one of the arcade games that people avoided at all costs no matter how enticing the rewards are, It was the claw machine. 

He asked me what I wanted and I just laughed at him and told him not to push through with it since games like those are usually rigged; you always had to wait for the pay-out to get something from it. 

He just looked at me with a smirk and he pointed at himself with his thumb and he said something like “I have a gift of luck.” 

I rolled my eyes and chuckled at the confidence he was emitting from his statement, but when I realized he wasn’t going anywhere else unless he tried winning me something from the crane game, I just played along with it. 

I told him I wanted the odd looking bear with half of it’s body being black and the other half being white, the two colors were split down the middle. It was the only bear in the whole space of plushy toys sitting near the corner of the glass that encased everything. I chose it because it was a difficult feat to accomplish, but I was surprised when he managed to acquire it in just one go. I just stood there gawking at him while he looked at me with a sheepish grin giving me the victory sign.

He handed it to me and kissed my cheek and I remember my face heating up the rest of the evening. We spent the next hour by playing old retro arcade games together.

We ended at around nine in the evening, we didn’t want to stay up too late since we still had school the next day.

I walked him home and we kissed but instead of him walking towards his door, he looked at me with a mischievous grin and pulled me into his house, shushing me as we moved closer to the door. I was in shock but I just rolled with him leading me, not really understanding the situation.

We snuck up to his room and I felt my heart pounding against my chest, curious to why he’s taking me upstairs. 

We entered his room and my mind began to connect the dots as he locked the door behind us. I looked at him and my forehead was getting coated with sweat as the seconds ticked by. I studied the weird expression he was giving off and I could see he was just as nervous as me.

We both stared at each other for a while with heavy breaths and as soon as I was about to speak he attacked me with his lips. Everything passed by like train of emotions. Everything I felt was a mixture of love, exhilaration, passion, elation and contentment. 

We both ended up really tired andI couldn’t really describe what we just did. All I know was that it was an amazing experience.

I looked at him, and I finally understood, at that moment, I’d give up everything for him.

I shook and I gulped at what I was about to say. But I had the need to say it. I wanted him to know. So I parted my lips and I said I loved him. He looked at me with the big kind eyes of his and he immediately cried tears of happiness. He told me he loved me too and we sealed the night with another kiss.

After that, I snuck out from his window, and went back over to my place. I went inside, and it was a good thing my parents were asleep on the couch. Yuki was the only one who got a chance to greet me, I greeted Yuki back and I went off to my bedroom.

I couldn’t sleep —hence why I’m writing this late at night —since everything that happened was swinging playfully with my heart strings. It felt amazing. To love and to be loved in the same intensity of fervency was the best feeling I’ve experience in my life.

As I’m writing this I can see the bear resting on my bed. It will forever bring back memories of what happened tonight.

I love you Makoto Naegi, and I will always do.

 

.  
———  
.

———————————————————————————————————————————

**Chapter 7:  
Fiction**

I stomp my feet on the hardwood floor as I approach Hajime to make it a point that I’m really upset. I’m really hurt by what he did but I don’t intend to physically harm the boy (even though I want to punch the hell out of him) I just want to make sure that I get my feelings across to him. 

My outburst proves to be working because he stops moving and I can sense he’s holding his breath and I swear I can hear his heart beating against his chest. 

I get a bit of contentment from his reaction. As I’m within arms reach from him, he gulps — probably afraid that I would start attacking him —and he looks to the floor like a dog that knows he’s done something wrong. He manages to stay still and it’s like he’s frozen in time. 

He flinches a little when I grab the journal from his hands. I scan over the top of the page to check how much he’s already read. My eyes hit the date; 24 September 2014. As I try to recall when that was, my body instantly turns to goo.

_He’s read everything?_

I try to stiffen myself back up with the rage that’s fueling me. I look at him and I try to bore a hole in his face with the anger and hate fuming in my eyes. 

_I can’t imagine he’d do such a thing._

He looks back at me. His eyes are like that of a person who knows he’s about to see the end of his life. It’s the first time I’ve seen fear and panic across his face, and in a way it gives me a power rush to see him like this under my gaze.

I rub my forehead and I try to compose myself. When I speak, it’s louder than I have intended.

“H-how much did you read?” I ask, gritting my teeth in the process, trying my best to not hit the brunette. I’m holding back a lot of my emotions so it doesn’t get the best of me but the urge is so strong. I clench my fist and count to three internally, stopping myself from doing something I might regret. 

Even though he’s done something so horrible I try to flood my mind with memories on how me made me feel for the past few days that he’s been with me. He’s been the only person who I consider to be a friend, and I hated how much I depended on him.

He looks over to my three other journals, sitting beside him on the bed and looks over to the journal in my hands. 

“Nagito, I’m—“ He starts.

“Answer the question.” I say with poison dripping from my teeth.

“I read everything” He says softly, his voice radiating with guilt.

I snatch the rest of my other journals and I keep them in the drawer and I slam it shut.

He flinches for the second time.

“Nagito, I didn’t mean to—“

“You didn’t mean to?” I shout. I pinch the bridge of my nose and I breath out.

“I—“

I cut him off with another question. “Where’d you find my journals?”

“I found it all in between the tiny space of your desk and the wall.” He says while scratching the back of his neck as he fixes his gaze on the floor, not daring to look at me.  
I try to think back on the last time I’ve read my other journals. 

_I don’t remember placing the journals there._

He looks back up at me. “While you were gone, I wanted to at least do something for you since I felt like a leech living in your home for free.”

“I don’t think reading my journals is giving back to me, Hajime.” I sneer.

He shook his head and scrunches his eyebrows together. “Nagito, I know I’m in the wrong here but please let me explain.”

I huff and I look at him, giving him the signal to continue.

“So I cleaned the house up a bit and I decided to clean your room too and I found your journals there.” He pointed at where he was referring to earlier. “I opened them and started reading them. At first I didn’t know it was your journals but as I kept on reading I couldn’t get myself to put them down.” He looks at me with pleading eyes.

I just shake my head at his words and give out another huff.

_You weren’t supposed to read it._

“I’m really sorry Nagito.”

I turn my back to him and I don’t respond. 

As I’m about to reach for the doorknob, Hajime calls out to me.

“Wait, Nagito… Please, if there’s any way I can make it up to you, please let me do so.” Without even looking at him, I can tell he’s desperate, he really wants me to forgive him. 

I turn the door knob and let myself out of the room without another word.

.  
———  
.

It’s been an hour since the incident but I still can’t make myself calm. I’m fidgeting all over the step at our front porch and my mind is going insane.

Remembering how sad he looked earlier gave a pang of guilt but I immediately topple it with anger because he doesn't deserve my forgiveness… well… not yet at least. 

It’s his fault in the first place. He could have stopped reading it, but he chose to read every single word I wrote.

I try thinking about something else but there’s something swirling in my emotions. It isn’t just anger or sadness.

_Is it fear?_

I shut my eyes and breath in deep, thinking deeper. I delve into the cause of why I’m feeling afraid. 

_Am I scared because he’d tell other people about my journal?_

I’m certain Hajime would never do that. But then again, I didn’t think he’d read my entire journal.  
It may happen but I have this gut feeling that it’s not the reason for my panic.

Or maybe it’s because if he’d find out about the truth behind the journals he’d think I’m insane and weird then he’d leave me and I’d be alone. 

Alone again.

All by myself.

I shudder at the thought. 

My eyes open wide at the realization.

_Yeah, maybe that’s it…_

I can’t help but tears start rolling down my face again. 

_Is it really worth expecting Hajime to be my friend?_

Bad luck has been following me the rest of my life after all. Why would I think it would spare my relationship with him? 

_It wants me to be alone for the rest of my life right?_

I fix my gaze up at the deep orange of the sky. 

It’s the universe that granted me with such bad luck after all. I have nothing. And I shouldn’t expect anything good to happen anymore. All my dreams are just empty meaningless wishes that will never be fulfilled.

I grip one of the railings and pull myself up, I’m sure I don’t want the stars reminding me of the fate that the heavens have bestowed upon me.

So I leave before I can see them.

.  
———  
.

Upon entering the house, I see Uncle Tengan plating the curry he’s prepared for us. I see Hajime’s helping him set up the table. He looks at me but I narrow my eyes at him. He shifts his gaze elsewhere and I try my best to imaging he isn’t here.

“There you are Nagito, where have you been?” Uncle Tengan looks at me suspiciously while wiping his hands with a clean towel.

“I just went out for a walk.” I lie. I don’t need him to worry about me again. I’d just get an earful of advice and sermons.

“Okay then, go call your sister. It’s time for dinner.”

I nod at him and head for the stairs. I knock on my sister’s door as soon as I reach it. She doesn’t respond right away, and as I’m about to knock again I hear shuffling inside.

She unlocks her door and looks up at me. Normally, I’d be surprised that she even stood up to get to the door but considering how she’s been acting all ‘normal’ now that Hajime’s here, I’m not that taken aback.

“It’s time for dinner.” I tell her with a soft smile, concealing my anger from earlier and the jealousy that just decided to knock on my heart’s doors again. 

_Am I jealous that Hajime’s interested in my sister or is it because my own flesh and blood responds more to a stranger than to her own twin brother?_

“Are you okay?” She asks which catches me off guard; not because she saw right through me but because It’s the first time in years since she’s asked me anything like that.

“Uh, yeah. Of course.” I say as I try to recover.

“I heard you shouting.” She says meekly, her gaze never leaving my eyes.

My mouth hangs open but I can’t make it to form words.

“Is Hajime okay?” She says with more worry compared to when she asked me if I was okay.

I inwardly sigh.

_It’s inevitable. Jealousy swings the doors of my heart open and enters it like it’s his home._

“Yeah, he’s fine. Now, let’s go.” I say softly. 

I turn around and head back for the stairs and she slowly follows me from behind.

_I give up._

Hajime is probably the universe’s gift to Chiaki and not mine. She deserves to be with him while I just sit in the corner, while they slowly fall in love with each other all the while I’m forgotten by the both of them. It’s obvious I can’t be Hajime’s friend and priority when that happens. 

They’ll eventually get married and move out of this house, creating a life for the both of them. And I’ll just be in the sidelines… alone… like always.

We both reach the table and immediately, Hajime greets Chiaki and she gives a smile back. 

_Just forget him. Just forget him. Just forget him._

Dinner time, as usual is being dominated by Uncle Tengan telling us stories about space which he read in his newly bought magazine. Whenever he mentions important information about the latest discoveries, he looks at Hajime expectantly. Hajime just looks at him back with awe, not saying anything important that could contribute to what Uncle Tengan’s talking about. Hajime just responds with an occasional ‘Wow’ and ‘I didn’t know that’.

I can’t shake the feeling off but I find it weird on how the old man expects some sort of reply, but my best guess right now is he’s just trying to see if Hajime has the same passion as he does about space since he’s given up in getting Chiaki and I interested in the topic.

As soon as we’re almost done eating, Uncle Tengan get’s Hajime’s attention once again but he also looks at me and my sister, expecting us to listen.

“I’ve been thinking, since it will probably take a while for you to return home and since you’re missing school while being here.” He looks at Hajime with much enthusiasm. 

I don’t like where this is going… 

“Why don’t you attend Hope’s Peak for the meantime?” He announces with a big grin on his face

My eyes widen at what Uncle Tengan just said. Normally, I’d be ecstatic but due to earlier circumstances I’m feeling quite the opposite. 

I look over at Hajime who has matching wide eyes, his face is exploding with thrill.

Uncle Tengan continues to talk since Hajime just has his mouth hanging open. “And since you’re in the same level as Nagito over here, and knowing that you two are getting to know each other so well, I’ll make sure you’ll take the same classes as him.” 

Hajime looks at me with glee but after a few seconds I catch a flash of pain in his eyes and the earlier thrill he feels is vanishing from his face, probably because he just remembered I’m pissed at him. 

I quickly face the other way. 

“Uh, Thank you, Sir. I would love to.” Hajime says with excitement but I can feel it’s fake. 

My eyes wander over Uncle Tengan and he’s looking at me. I have a feeling he’s doing this not just for Hajime but for me as well since he knows I’ve been talking to Hajime a lot and I spend most of my time with him. Uncle Tengan probably thinks it will be good for me. 

For the hundredth time today, I inwardly sigh.

 

I look over at Chiaki who has this dreamy smile directed towards my new classmate.

“Congratulations Hajime.” She squeaks and gives him a bright smile.

I see that her comment sparks Hajime with a higher level of thrill than what he had earlier.

_Well done, bad luck. You never fail to surprise me._

I inwardly slow clap. 

_I can just feel the universe taunting me from the outside of these four walls._

.  
———  
.

I’m laying down on my bed with a book to my nose and from the corner of my eyes, I can see Hajime setting up the Futon. It’s been hours since the both of us said anything. But as I was about to continue reading my book, Hajime interrupts me.

“Nagito, you didn’t tell me your Uncle was the Headmaster of Hope’s Peak.” He says.

I can tell he isn’t really interested in what he’s talking about. He’s just probably trying to start a conversation with me.

“You’re still mad huh?” He continues.

I don’t make a sound and I still have my eyes glued to the book, pretending to be in deep concentration at the moment.

“I’m sorry.” He says as he puts a pillow down to the newly sheeted futon. 

With no response from me, he just sighs and goes to the bathroom.

He comes back out and I place my book down and I notice he’s waiting for me expectantly. 

But when he realizes I won’t be saying anything else to him as I stand up to turn the lights off, he continues heading for his bed and buries his face in it.

As I was about to shut the lamp off, I cough to get his attention.

He looks at me, probably expecting me to forgive him right away.

Yeah, like I’d forgive him easily.

“Why didn’t you stop reading when you realized they were my journals.”  
It takes him a while before he says something. “I don’t know… I guess I wanted to get to know more about you.”

“You could have just decided to stop reading my journals and instead, ask me questions to get to know more about me.” I say as irritation is hitting me right away.

“I don’t know. When I read some entries of your journal, your life seemed so perfect. It’s like reading something out of a novel.” He says.

I just flinch at what he says but I don’t respond.

He turns his back facing to me when he realizes I won’t be talking anymore for tonight.

“Good night Nagito. I’m really excited about tomorrow.” 

I sigh.

He’s trying too hard.

I don’t respond.

.  
———  
.

It’s Hajime’s first day of school. I’ve been giving him the cold shoulder since this morning but that doesn’t stop him from trying to start a conversation with me.

We’ve been walking to school for the past few minutes but he doesn’t stop hitting me with a number of one-sided conversations. I feel relief when He gives up midway of the travel and decides to chat with my sister instead. And I’m not surprised that she decided to walk with us today. 

I try to let it slide but I end up gritting my teeth during the walk.

I watched them closely with my peripheral vision. Hajime’s been trying to talk to her, occasionally glancing at what the game she’s playing with using her phone. 

_I can hear the stupid music of that cat game she plays every morning._

It seems that it’s almost a one-sided conversation since most of the time Chiaki just nods to what Hajime’s saying or she replies with just a word or two.

But hey, unlike me, she’s sort of talking to Hajime.

It doesn’t take a few minutes before Hajime stops talking completely. He just keeps walking forward in between me and Chiaki with slump shoulders and a downcast gaze.

.  
———  
.

It’s the first period, and Uncle Tengan walks in the classroom alongside Hajime. He announces that Hajime will be joining the class temporarily and everyone has their eyes on the brunette as he introduces himself to everyone. 

Whispers float around the class and I try to hear what the others have to say about him. I catch a few words and try to make sense of the chopped up words I’ve heard.

Some were curious as to why he was here and made their theories on why they thought he was here. I also understand that some of the girls said that he looked cute.

I roll my eyes at the latter comment.

After the introduction he took his seat in front of me. I’m glad there were no seats available beside me. I’m sure he’d sit there and I’d end up spending the whole first period being annoyed by him since he’d be trying to get my attention the whole time.

Second period came and he’s assigned to sit beside me. I’m tempted to bang my head on my desk but I don’t. The instructor starts the lesson with a question and he calls on Makoto. With Makoto’s name bouncing around the four walls, I happen to catch Hajime looking at him as if he’s studying him.

_Why is he looking at him lik— oh… The journals. Right…_

I mentally slap myself.

He looks over to me and looks back over to Makoto and he repeats this a few times.

When Makoto finally sits Hajime looks back over to me with a surreptitious look.

At that moment I felt dread but then he realizes something which makes him gaze at the floor. 

My muscles relax and I’m glad he doesn't pry me for information on Makoto.

.  
———  
.

It’s lunch and I’m just thankful Hajime doesn’t ask me anything about my school life but the thing is, Hajime’s been tailing me the whole time. As I was about to pick a table to sit on, Hajime grabs the sleeve of my shirt.

“Hey, aren’t those your friends?” He gives me small smile and points to a table.

I look over to where he’s pointing and my blood goes cold all of a sudden.

He’s pointing at Mondo’s table. Like usual, Mondo's sitting with Souda, Fuyuhiko, Leon, Celestia and Sayaka. 

If they were your normal average students, I wouldn’t have probably memorized their names but they aren’t your average classmate. No, that would be a huge understatement. In fact, they were the ‘popular’ kids but most of them are considered to be bullies by most of the populace of Hope’s Peak since they are notoriously known for their bad reputation. But my classmates looked up to them, nonetheless.

“I got the chance to speak with Souda during third period.” Hajime says. 

Before I can react he grabs my hands and drags me to where they are sitting. 

“Look they’ve got room to fit the both of us.”

“H-Hajime…” I got to sputter midway arriving to the destination of my death.

He looks at me worried. “Look, you don’t have to be all cold and sad all day just because of what I did. You deserve to spend some time with your friends you know.” He says looking guilty. “Now come on.” He continues to drag me to their table.

He finally stops and grabs their attention, their eyes looking at us up and down.

“Oh look! It’s the new kid.” Souda gives a toothy grin to Hajime.

“Hi! it’s nice to meet you all. The name’s Hajime.” He says extending his arm and I slap my forehead.

Everyone looks at each other except for Souda who still has sparkles in his eyes all the while looking at Hajime.

“Come, sit over here buddy.” Souda says, patting the empty seat beside him. 

_Crap, I can’t leave Hajime alone. What if they beat him up? but most importantly what if they tell him how much of a loser I’am?_

He sits down and I sit down beside Hajime so I’m in the corner of the table.

“So…” Mondo starts. “What brings you to this table?” He asks with danger written on his tone but Hajime doesn’t notice.

Souda pats Hajime’s back. “He’s here to spend some time with his soul-friend of course!”

Fuyuhiko gives Souda a raised eyebrow. “Soul-friend?”

“Well, yeah. The heavens declared it when he chose to listen to my admiration for Miss Sonia. Isn’t that right Hajime?” He says, giving Hajime a hard hit on the back.

Hajime just gives out a laugh and looks over to Mondo. “Well, I just wanted to get to know Nagito’s closest friends.” Hajime says.

I sink down to my seat.

I can hear whispers from the table and as they are all staring me down.

“Oh! Did Nagito say that?” Mondo says all the while giving me a death stare.

“Well… I… uhh… No, but…” Hajime stutters not realizing that Mondo’s about to jump out of his chair to stab me right in my chest with his fork.

I shut my eyes because I know what’s coming. But then Mondo says something that shocks me and the rest of the table except for Hajime of course.

“I see. well, if you’re a friend of Nagito, then you’re welcome here.” He says with an innocent smile that shakes me to the core.

Something is going on here… And I don’t like it one bit.

.  
———  
.

It’s the second day and I haven’t spoken a single word to Hajime since yesterday’s lunch. It was a miracle that Mondo didn't approach me concerning Hajime sitting at their table. I guess they genuinely liked Hajime’s company. 

I take out my packed lunch which I prepared earlier in the morning while Hajime was still asleep on his Futon bed. I hid it in my bag as soon as it finished cooling down, not wanting for Hajime to find out about my lunch plan for today. 

I was glad Souda stopped Hajime as he was about to chase after me after the period before lunch. If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably end up at their table again.

He's probably sitting with them again, but unlike yesterday, I think he can handle it on his own for today. They probably wouldn’t beat him up now that I know he’s in good terms with the Pink haired shark boy. There's also a huge chance of the possibility of them talking about me while I'm not there. If they ever did, I told myself this morning I wouldn't care anymore. I also didn't want to test my luck today by sitting at their table again. Who knows what Mondo might do to me in front of the whole school, and not to mention Hajime would be there to witness it.

Anyway, I’ve come to realize that with all the circumstances that has been happening for the past few days, I don’t think Hajime and I would be friends anymore. The realization came not because of him reading my journals per se but because of what that might result to. I mean, who in their right mind would want to be friends with 'the weird kid that writes weird stuff on his journal all day’. Plus another good reason is I don't think my luck would allow me to have good things. I always had high hopes when I was a kid that the pain would stop and something good was bound to happen. But now that I've reached this stage of my life, I can do nothing but laugh at my past beliefs. And these reasons are why I’m sitting here in my favorite campus spot — the rooftop — all alone once again.

I open my lunchbox and use my metal chopsticks to pick up the omelette I cooked this morning. It’s color was a mixture of brown and black and It smells like smoke. Well... it was supposed to turn out like an omelette. I bet no one could guess what this was, prior to me cooking it. I'm having a hard time believing it turned out like this, myself. I take a bite and the bitterness was so strong it was like eating coffee grinds. 

I spit it out of my mouth and I sigh.

I’m just thankful I at least packed some fresh fruits for me to eat. The thing is, as I was cutting it into cubes this morning, it resulted me in cutting myself accidentally. I’m probably lucky that I just cut myself once knowing that I have newbie knife skills. I should probably give up cooking in case worse things happen.

I finish all the fruits and pack the rest of the inedible meal back into my bag. 

_...I still feel hungry._

 

.  
———  
.

I’m on the rooftop again with my feet dangling on the edges. I’m just watching the afternoon sky to let time pass by. It’s been an hour since the school bell rang signaling the end of today’s classes. I’m a little hurt that Hajime didn’t come after me when I ran towards the door of today’s final period. But I’m also happy that he’s finally getting the message that I don’t want to talk to him anymore.

_I wonder if Hajime went on ahead or maybe he walked home with Chiaki… but I don’t care… Enough about him._

I try to listen for the chatter of students below me but I don't hear anything. It’s gotten quiet around the school which means it’s probably time for my exit. I grab my bag and head for the stairs.

I finally step outside of the school’s doors when suddenly I feel a strong pair of hands push me against the school’s brick walls. I wince in pain and I look up to my attacker who’s shadow is casting on me against the late afternoon light.

“Well well well, look who we have here boys.” I can hear snickers coming from behind the taller male. “He finally showed up. We were wondering why you weren't with us at lunch today.”

I look to the side feeling shame and fear.

“Hey! look at me when I’m talking to you.” He grabs my chin so that our eyes meet. 

I can feel my whole body start to tremble. I get a glimpse of Fuyuhiko and Souda standing on the sides with their arms crossed.

“So, as I was saying. You weren’t at lunch today and you’re boyfriend didn’t show up either…” Souda and Fuyuhiko don’t respond to the comment. “Why didn’t you come over? We’re close friends after all. Just like what you said the other day right?” he gives out a snort and he leans in closer to me and I can see the insanity swirling in his eyes.

“Answer me.” He yells to my face. Drops of his saliva sprays to my face and I’m too scared to say anything.

“Hey. Let go!” My head snaps to the person who’s stupid enough to shout at Mondo Oowada like that.

_Fuck… What’s he doing here?_

Mondo looks at Hajime and he laughs as he looks back at me. “Looks like your boyfriend’s here for the rescue.”

“I said let—“ As Hajime was about to grab Mondo’s arm, Mondo thrusts me to the side making me fall to the hard paved ground and when I look up, Mondo has his huge hand wrapped around Hajime’s neck.

Hajime just looks at him with an adamant glare and Mondo just starts a chorus of psychotic laughter, his voice echoing the empty school grounds. “Wow, I’m really impressed,” Mondo says wiping a tear from his eye. “You’re the first person who hasn’t flinched from my grip to the throat. You aren't like the others, I'll give you that. You're either acting or you're just too stupid to understand the situation you're in.”

I see Mondo's hand clench harder around Hajime's throat, but he still doesn't break his stare.

“H-Hajime. R-run.” I shout with tears threatening to spill out of my eyes.

He doesn’t look at me.

“Shut up, Komaeda!” Mondo shouts and looks back at Hajime.

“You know, I'll go with what I said last. You're pretty stupid.” Mondo spits and cocks his arm getting ready to punch Hajime square in the face. 

“Hey hey hey, what do you think you’re doing? You're going too far! Hajime's a friend.” Souda says approaching the taller male.

“Yeah, just chill out man, Hajime hasn’t done anything.” Fuyuhiko says following Souda.

“Shut up, the both of you!” Mondo booms, looking at his posse. He catches us all by surprise by hitting Hajime on his left cheek.

Hajime doesn’t do anything to defend himself but he turns his head towards Mondo, still staring at him with a death glare.

“Stop! Please… Let him go.” I shout as I feel the tears drop down my cheeks.

My words fall on deaf ears. As Mondo’s about to hit Hajime for the second time the doors of the school swing open.

“What the hell do you think you guys are doing!? You, five! to the principals office, now!”

.  
———  
.

Uncle Tengan isn’t home yet, but I’m shaking with every negative emotion I’ve felt earlier in great intensity.

The old man, acting as our principal, decided we’re going to have detention for two weeks but more disciplinary actions will follow when he gets a clear understanding of what happened moments ago. Hajime and I chose not to speak against Mondo. I’m sure Hajime would have done otherwise to protect me, but thankfully, I got to tell him not to tell Uncle Tengan what Mondo did while professor Gozu accompanied the five of us to the office. Hajime just looked at me like I was crazy and he was clearly about to protest but then he just sighed and gave into my request. I wanted to tell Uncle Tengan on my own when I'm ready. But I guess it's not the right time yet.

Now, all I have to do is wait for Uncle Tengan to come home. I'm sure he will be emptying his mouth, sermons will be flying here and there and he'll probably end it all by grounding me or something. 

Hajime breaks me from my thoughts by entering my room. I look at him and he's holding a huge icepack to his cheek. 

“Hey…” He greets.

His voice gives me a little bit of comfort since he hasn’t spoken to me during the whole walk home.

I was afraid that he has finally found out that I’m such a loser and that I’m nothing special, making him not want to continue talking to me ever again.

But I’m still mad at what he did and I’m pissed with his decision of getting punched in the face for my sake.

He sits beside me on my bed and places his right hand on my shoulder. 

I quickly tense and shake his arm off. “Just because you stood up for me doesn’t make me automatically forgive you.”

He sighs and looks at me. “Nagito, I’m sorry for reading your journals. I know I messed up.” he says for the nth time. “I know I can't take it back but I want to make it up to you.”

I look at him with irritation. “If you didn’t read it, none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t have gotten that!” I say pointing my finger at his bruised up cheek. 

He doesn’t say anything and looks at me with guilt in his face.

I tell him to let go of the icepack for a while so I can see the damage Mondo has done. It’s a dark blue with some shades of red surrounding it. I thumb it gently but he ends up wincing back in pain.

“You’re stupid. You know that?” I manage to say out loud out of annoyance.

He laughs softly. “Yeah, I know. I get what I deserve, don’t I?” 

I stare at him for a while, looking at the small smile on his face and he looks back into mine.

“I'm confused. Can you at least tell me what’s going on? What happened back there?” He says quietly, his smile fading.

I look to the side, not wanting to meet his eyes. I bite my lip and think to myself if I should let him know the truth -- Something that I've been scared of him finding out since I met him.

"I want to help you and I want to regain your trust"

I huff out. “Okay. How do I say this?” I look back at him and I see his eyes searching mine.. “I-i don’t know, I guess they just mess around with me sometimes…” I say.

“He doesn't say anything. He just looks at me disbelievingly. 

I blink a couple of times and I twiddle my pointing fingers around. “It’s just that I got in a fight with them recently.”

“Nagito…”

“It’s not their fault though. I did something horrible to them.” I say, thinking of an excuse.

“Nagito…” he says a little louder.

“And I'm sorry but I don’t feel like explaining it to you right now. The thing I did was really unforgivable… ” I look at the floor since it was getting hard looking at him.

“Nagito.” This time he says with a strictness to his voice but it’s also mixed with care and compassion. “It’s okay." he squeezes my shoulder. "You can tell me the truth.”

I begin to panic. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Hajime.”

This time, he comes closer to me and he gives me a hug. Now the feeling of breaking down hits me.

I try to push him away but his grip tightens around me.

After struggling for a few minutes, the tears that I’ve been holding start rolling off my face and I can hear my heart pounding loudly. I give up and I snake my arms around him and I hug him tighter. It goes on for a couple of minutes and he doesn’t move out of the hug. He just circles his hand, rubbing my back, giving me comfort.

_How does he do it? He makes me feel all these array of emotions at once. He's breaking the facade I've been building around myself for years. I feel like such a baby, like I'm vulnerable. I mean, I’ve been crying in front of him for a couple of times now and I'm surprised he isn't bothered by it. I'm not complaining though. I just feel grateful and happy that he’s here, that he’s trying to understand me. If I had a choice, I wouldn't let go of the hug, fearing that he might slip out of my hold and that he'd disappear forever but I had to let go so I can face him and finally tell him the truth._

“You’d think of me as weird if I tell you.” I warn him.

He just raises one of his eyebrows. “Why would you think that? and besides, I already think you're weird.” He gives a small laugh, lightening the air around us. "but if you think I'd leave you because of it then you're wrong. I may not fully understand who you are but I want to, Nagito."

I smile and I manage to laugh a little. “My journals…” I croak.

“Yeah?”

I look at him and all the probable negative outcomes hit me and envelope my mind. “I-i can’t…” I say giving up, looking down to my bedroom floor.”

“You can do this.” Hajime says.

I just shake my head.

He gently places his hand on my jaw and raises my head so that my eyes meet his.

“I think I already know. You just need to tell me.” He tells me in a smooth and gentle tone.

I pause for a moment to gain courage to tell him. “The journals… they aren’t true.”

He smiles at me—the exact opposite reaction I’ve been expecting him to give when he finally finds out.

“It’s okay. I think I get why you do it.”

_He understands…?_

I choke a little, feeling happiness building up inside me. “When did you—“

He gives out another light laugh. “Yeah, I think most of us do it all the time… It's like we cling on to something to forget even if it's just for a moment. We all have different ways of doing it and we do it to find comfort or to find peace.”

I nod at him, understanding what he’s telling me.

“I kind of felt it when I was reading your journals… Again, I’m sorry for doing that.” He huffs out a breath that’s full of regret. “The full realization finally hit me yesterday when we sat at their table.”

“I-i—“

“It’s okay. I kind of get why you would write things like that. I have my own habits too when it comes to hiding from reality.” He says. 

I was about to ask him what he was hiding from but then he continues.

“ But is everything you wrote fiction?“

“Yeah…” I say, my voice cracking.

“Mondo and the gang?”

“They were never my friends. I’ve never had anyone to call as my friend before…” I say, pitying myself.

Hajime puts his hand on my shoulder for assurance and I smile at his little gesture; it means a lot.

“Makoto?”

I blush and I cough. “I-i kind of like him but I’ve never really asked him out.”

“What about your feelings towards other guys?”

My cheeks heats up more and I manage to look off to the side again.

“Hey, it’s okay. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.”

I give out another small awkward smile and I laugh a little.

“Does Chiaki and Uncle Tengan know?”

I shake my head.

“What about your parents, and your dog? Where are they?”

This time, I don’t say anything.

Hajime looks at me with assurance. “It’s okay, you don't have to tell me everything right now. You can tell me when you're ready.”

He hugs me again. “Thank you for telling me.” He says.

I hug him back without any other words to say.

He releases me and proceeds to stand up and he gives off a loud sigh. 

“I guess it’s my turn. You’ve been asking me where I’m from and stuff like that…” He says and before he continues I lay my head low.

“You don’t have to tell me Hajime. Just because you feel guilty about—“

“No. It’s not because of that.” He says placing his hand on my shoulder while his left hand is still holding the icepack to his cheek. I look at him with curiosity.

“We’re friends right?” he says and I nod and smile at the question. “I’m telling you because I want to.” he announces and he tries to steady himself. “Okay… Don’t tell anyone. I trust you.” He breathes out nervously and I can see his his hand shaking. He composes himself and looks me in the eyes. And after a brief pause he says, “You’re right.”

“I’m right?” I ask, not really understanding what he means.

“I’m an alien.”


	8. Space Crystal

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I can’t help but feel restless. It’s not like I have any other choice but to keep still and wait. 

I’m sitting on my bed with my legs crossed, drumming my fingers on my thigh, watching a certain browned haired alien boy, happily sitting on his futon, in front of me.

I have dozens of questions in my head and I’m surprised that I have my back leaning against my bed’s headboard, keeping my calm. It’s a miracle that I’ve waited this long, but as the seconds tick by, I find my last ounces of patience slipping away from my fingertips. I would have been shaking the boy in front of me violently by now, just to get him to tell me everything, but as the circumstances present itself, it seems that he won’t be able to talk.

Well, it’s not his fault that he wasn’t able to tell me everything two hours ago which was the moment he decided to tell me his secret — not that it was a secret to begin with, since I knew in my heart, from the first time I laid my eyes on him, he was indeed from outer space. After the classified information left Hajime’s lips, the next thing we heard was Uncle Tengan arriving and calling for Hajime and I to head downstairs. 

Hajime looked at me and signaled me to continue our conversation later on, since we had to tend to Uncle’s Tengan’s request. I sighed inwardly and followed Hajime’s lead.

We were summoned to sit on the sofa while the old man paced back and forth in front of us, stroking his beard with his right hand, while his left hand was placed on the back of his hip. This went on for five minutes until he decided to stop and look me straight in the eyes. That too was when I decided to talk. I told him everything concerning Mondo’s constant abuse which was directed at me.

To be honest, I didn’t know what else to do. If I lied, I’d probably be dragging Hajime along with me into more trouble. But most of all, what made me decide to spill everything out, was simply because I felt tired. 

Tired of all the bullying and the emotional pain that I was burdened to carry each day. Tired of the constant fear of being around Mondo and his gang. Tired of going through things that I didn’t deserve. If I didn’t choose to tell Uncle Tengan, things would probably get worse, not just for me but for Hajime as well.

Uncle Tengan was right. I should have told him earlier. I honestly thought I could solve this on my own.

As soon as I finished talking, I was suddenly surprised to see Uncle Tengan wearing a smile. He didn’t say anything else but I received a pat on the back. 

Uncle Tengan wasn’t the only one who had a surprising reaction by my sudden revelation, Hajime too was wearing a look of bewilderment, but it wasn’t just perplexity on his face, he was also wearing a look of happiness and a certain kind of pride, probably due to the fact he was relieved that I had told the old man the truth.

After a few seconds too long of staring at Hajime’s face, Uncle Tengan coughed. I looked at him and he asked me to go to my room so he could talk to Hajime in private. I didn’t contend or ask why but I was dead curious inside. 

I went up to my room and plopped on my bed, making use of my time alone to think about everything that’s been happening since Hajime arrived. I tried to connect everything now that I’m certain Hajime’s an alien, but the more I thought about his circumstances the more questions I had jabbing at my brain. 

This went on for quite a while until a certain chestnut haired boy came knocking on my door and entering my room after a few knocks, but as I was expecting to finally continue our conversation from earlier he tells me it’s time for dinner. 

I can't shake off the feeling of curiosity since It was weird that Uncle Tengan asked me to leave the room so he could speak to Hajime privately. _What did they talk about?_

I headed downstairs with Hajime to eat dinner with everyone else. I looked at Uncle Tengan and back to Hajime a couple of times, making sure everything's okay but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

After dinner, we headed back upstairs, and now I’m here in my room still clueless about Hajime’s alien life, and curious about what they talked about and now, I'm itchy for some answers.

I look at the box he’s holding, and I give out a sigh of relief. The box is empty and the other two identical containers that is littered around him are empty as well.

I watch him as the exaggerated animation of his cheeks and his mouth die down. 

I’m surprised, with all that sticky, chewy kusamochi he’s been gorging for the past fifteen minutes, he isn’t bothered by the slightest with his bruised up cheek.

“Are you finally ready?” I ask.

He swallows down the last piece and he breathes out a sigh of utter contentment. I’d be surprised if he would ask for a fourth box of the sweets, but then again… probably not. Those three boxes of the green dessert that he ate in one go were probably everything that the old man gave him. 

My guess as to the old man giving the sweets to Hajime is probably because he wanted to reward him for ‘defending’ me earlier. Uncle Tengan probably comprehended our circumstance earlier before I got the chance to tell him everything and he went on ahead and bought the kusamochi for Hajime.

“Yup. Okay, so where were we.” He looks at me with light in his eyes… or maybe I’m just imagining things again.

“You’re an alien.” I tell him.

“Oh, right.” 

I roll my eyes at the apathy he is expressing towards the subject, like this isn’t some big deal, but it is! for me at least. The whole world would go crazy if they found out aliens like Hajime existed, I’m sure of it. 

He starts chuckling because of the expression I was giving off.

“Ok, so uh… Uhm… Are you… no, how did you… where—” This isn’t good. Now that he’s ready, my questions seems to get all jumbled up and I don’t know where to start.

This time, Hajime not only chuckles but he completely cracks up at my predicament. 

My cheeks start heating up at embarrassment while my mind refuses to come up with a question.

After barrage of Hajime’s laughter, the loudness of it dies down and he gets a grip of himself. 

“What’s so funny?” I finally mutter.

He wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. “It’s nothing.” He coughs. “So, why don’t we start from the beginning?” He offers.

I recover from my earlier dilemma. I find myself lighting back up again for the topic at hand. I nod at the boy readies himself by clearing his throat. 

“Okay this might take a while and it’s probably going to get really confusing.” He says all the while looking at me intently. “But I don’t want you telling anyone else, okay?”

“Okay.” I nod.

“So yeah, let’s start off with where I came from. I’m from this planet called N490.” 

He just continues to look at me and I nod at him not wanting to disrupt him. 

“It’s basically similar to your planet but with a few different things here and there…”

.  
———  
.

We’ve been talking for over an hour or two now, but who cares? This flooding of information is making my head throb but nonetheless it’s really mind boggling, plus it’s exciting to talk about. 

Everything Hajime has been saying was making my perception of the world tilt and shift. It’s making me feel so tiny and limited with the knowledge I have about other things besides the planet that my feet are planted on.

As of now, we aren’t really done talking just yet, but he’s in the bathroom, preparing for bed and I’m still here trying to take it all in. 

I try to gather everything he’s told me and stuff it all into my mind. It just seems so unbelievable, really.

First he said he was from a planet that is sharing the same galaxy as us and he’s certain there are probably others ‘aliens’ out there and it’s highly plausible that they share the same genetic code as us humans. And yes, Hajime and his people are basically the same as us. They share the same anatomy as us, the same bodily functions, the same psychological behavior, the same thinking processes, the same emotional responses to different stimuli and other things.

The only thing that’s makes us different is that, he’s from another planet and we differ in things like culture, language and technological advancement. Hands down, I bet we are years away from developing gadgets like theirs. They have way more advance technology than us. He told me about this implanted chip on his head that allows him to understand and speak any languages other humans are using, but of course there are some limitations to the chip — one of them is the understanding of emotion in the words that people give off, It's up to them to decipher what the other person is feeling, which I find to be relieving. It would be weird if he could kind of read my emotions.

And of course another proof of how advance they are is space travel. The farthest we've gone into space is our spacecraft which we’ve called ‘Voyager 1’, It’s traveled for 11billion miles, but that’s nothing compared to how far Hajime has traveled from N490 to planet earth, and he’s just a student back from where he came from. But that’s not the amazing part, he’s traveled to earth just for a school research trip. There’s probably a few hundred N490 students right now, circling the globe for their homework.

Another thing is, It’s funny how we dissect frogs for a biology subject. Hajime told me how one of their old school projects was to abduct cows so they could do extensive medical research on it, whatever that means. It’s also surprising to know that some of the crop circles I’ve been seeing on television since I was a kid — Uncle Tengan has always been watching those kinds of things as early as I could remember — are made by bored students from N490. It’s like doing graffiti on hectares of land.

But now, Hajime’s here for a school trip for advance sociology, and it so happens his class’s topic is about earth’s human social interaction and culture. They were supposed to observe it from above using whatever technology they have but it so happens, my friend who’s still in the bathroom right now, had to fall asleep on his ship which caused him to have his little accident. And voila, he’s now stuck with me. I didn’t tell him but I was glad he fell asleep or else I wouldn't have met him.

The click of the door unlocking disrupts my train of thought, but I’m happy it did because I still have a few more questions to ask him. And these questions are the questions that have been bugging me since I met him.

He plops down on his futon and crosses his legs. “By the look on your face, I’m pretty sure you have more questions to ask me.” He says with a small smile. “So what else do you want to know?” 

Well, here it goes.

“So how long until you get back?” I ask.

He scratches his head while looking off to the side, thinking. “Probably a month or more? Like I said it takes two weeks and a few days to travel from earth to N490 and vice versa.” He looks back at me. “They’re probably on their way home right now and they haven’t noticed that I’m missing.”

His expression doesn’t waver but I can sense some pain in his words.

_Maybe he’s just like me?_

“Won’t they know that you’ve crashed sooner, like while traveling to your home planet or something?”

He shrugs. “If it turns out that way, then you can say I’m lucky. Things like this usually don’t happen. Our professors don’t really monitor us since we’re expected to do a perfect job, we’ve been doing this since middle school after all. An incident like this only happened once, and that was three years ago. It took them a month before they could get her back.”

“Oh.” is all that I can say. I can’t offer anything else since I don’t know anything about the subject.

He looks at me and flashes me a smile. “Don’t worry about me, I’m sure they’ll return and get me back home.”

I can’t help but smile back and I continue by asking him the remainder of questions that's on my mind.

“So what happens to your people who want to stay on earth?”

“They get evicted from our planet and they’re prohibited from ever returning back.” Hajime says. 

This makes me even more curious. “Has anyone ever chose to stay here on our planet?”

“Yeah, quiet a few actually.”My eyes widen at the fact. Anyone I know could be from N490 but most importantly Hajime has a possibility of staying.

“So what happened to them?” I ask.

Hajime just shrugs again. “Some of them have lead amazing lives here on earth. Some have become earth’s well-known philosophers, church and government leaders, actors, musicians, scientists, you name it. But probably 90% of those who chose to stay on earth decided to lead normal and average lives.

“Wow… that’s quite amazing.” I say, baffled, but what I really wanted to ask is ‘Why can’t you stay here on earth for me?’, instead I decided not to. That would be too selfish of me.

Hajime, probably sensing what I wanted to ask get’s up and opens his suitcase. He moves around some of his clothes which were mostly sets of his school uniform and grabs something and encloses it in his fist.

He goes up to me and looks at me with gentle eyes and I can hear my heart race, beating against my ribcage.

“Here.” He says.

I lift up both my hands under his fist to receive whatever he has for me.

He opens his hand and a small green crystal that has a string that goes through the top of it falls into my hands.

_Some sort of necklace?_

I study it with both my saucer eyes in amazement and confusion.

“What is it?” I ask.

“That’s something special that you can only find in my planet. It’s pretty common from where I’m from but I want you to hang onto it like it’s your life.” He says.

I feel the crystal with my thumb and index finger. It feels light and smooth. It feels like plastic. Even if it seems like plastic, I’m happy nonetheless, since it came from Hajime, and I’d guard it with my life even if he didn’t ask me of it.

“Here, let me put it on you.” He grabs the end of the strings and ties it around my neck. I blush since I’m in close proximity to his body and he has his hands around me.

“Okay there.” He steps back and admires the dangling crystal on me.

“What happens if I lose it?” I ask while I fiddle with the stone that is now hanging around my neck.

His gaze from earlier becomes gloomy and serious. “The reason shouldn’t matter but if you want to stay as my friend, don’t ever think about losing it.”

I gulp inwardly but I manage a nod. Hajime can be serious most of the time but it’s the second time I’ve seen him dead serious… the first time was moments ago when he saw Mondo who was about to hit me.

He turns around and plops back into his mattress. With another swift movement, he lays down and tucks himself in his blanket with his back facing me. 

And before I get up to turn off the lights he tells me something that I didn’t quite catch.

“What?” I ask.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to visit you again in the future.”

.  
———  
.

For the past hour, I’ve been playing with the green crystal that Hajime’s given me. Everything he’s revealed to me is still in my head, being processed, being reflected on, being thought upon. 

I know I said I've believed in Hajime being an alien all this time but now that he's confirmed it, I can’t help but have this small doubt in my mind, that everything he’s told me is a lie and that this crystal on my fingertips is nothing but a cheap plastic necklace bought somewhere in a gift shop of some sort.

I can’t really blame him for the uncertainty that’s plaguing me, it's probably just me being paranoid again.

I can't help but chuckle to myself. I'm finding the whole situation I'm in funny because, in the first place, I was the one who started this, I'm the one who's been suspecting him as an alien since day one, and here I am, questioning something I've believed in, questioning the information he has entrusted to me to be kept a secret, here I am with a shred of skepticism threatening to destroy our friendship. 

I sigh in the silence of my bedroom, fixing my gaze on the brunette's back.

Hey, at least these mysteries have been answered right? I should just set my doubts aside and trust in Hajime’s words. But I have another problem. There’s another question that's occupying my thoughts right now and it appeared as soon as I turned the lights off and scurried into my sheets. I’m afraid that this time and it’s something Hajime can’t answer for me. The only one who can answer the question is me.

And the exact question that's plaguing me is… 'What are these emotions I’m feeling for him?'

It’s complicated to put it into words but my heart’s beating fast and at the same time I feel this certain kind of calm that I’ve never felt before.

_Is it what I think it is?_

_Is it the reason why I care so much about him?_

_Is it the reason why he’s the only person I’ve opened up to?_

_Is it the reason why I didn't want him to leave in the first place?_

_Is it the reason why I hate the idea of Hajime and Chiaki being together?_

_Is it the reason why I’m jealous when he's near my sister?_

_Is it the reason why I’m so affected by him? by what he thinks of me? by his kind words? by his simple gestures? by his touch?_

_Is it the reason why I’d give up anything for him to stay?_

_**Do I like Hajime Hinata?** _

I give another heavy sigh at the dead of the night

It seems like it’s going to be another sleepless night for me.


	9. Space Travel

Hajime exhales and he turns to me. “Nagito, are you okay?” he asks while stopping in his tracks.

I can see the brunette through my peripheral vision. He has his eyebrows furrowed together and is looking at me with curiosity written in his squinting eyes that's holding an adamant stare, reading me—probably trying to figure out what I’m feeling and finding the reason as to why I’m concealing such emotions. 

I understand why he’s giving me that look of concern. I’ve been mindlessly staring at the path we’ve been treading for thirty minutes now, and I’ve been silent the whole trip after all. But there’s a good reason for that—I’ve been trying to avoid meeting his eyes since the day I realized I’ve felt something more than friendship for him. Especially now. 

I’m scared that if I stare into those deep light green pools of his I might go insane with my emotions.

Speaking of which, these past few days have been a heart pounding and head throbbing ride for me. I’m still debating whether my feelings for him is some kind of infatuation or an admiration sort of thing. Well at least that’s what I’m hoping, since it’d be easier getting over those kinds of feelings when he leaves earth. 

My fear though, is that, it may be something deeper than those kinds of feelings and I’m not ready to go through another emotional trip when he leaves. I’d be left empty and feeling all alone again; the heavens know I’ve felt that for a thousand times already.

And the thing is, if he leaves, it wouldn’t be your average long distance kind of friendship, considering that he lives a thousands lightyears away. It’d be impossible for us to communicate.

He snaps his fingers in front of me, grabbing back my attention. I fix my eyes on him, but instead of looking at his eyes, I try to look past him, putting my focus on the tree behind him. 

“Hm?” I say, my eyes gliding over the bark.

_It’s a beautiful tree…_

“You’ve been kind of distant today. Is it because you’re worried about what Mondo might do to you?” He bites his lip and squeezes the straps of his backpack but he has this determined look to his face.

I shake my head in response. 

My eyes hit the yellow-green bruise on his cheek, reminding me what occurred a few days ago. We haven’t encountered the brute who caused the injury the day after that incident conspired. He didn’t attend the classes we had together and we didn’t see him anywhere in the halls either.

Hajime and I were worried that he was plotting something against us. Probably planning another one of his sadistic attacks. 

It was during lunch period that we got our answer as to why he was missing.

When we spotted Fuyuhiko and Souda heading our way, Hajime quickly stood up from his seat and stepped protectively in front of me.  
I couldn’t tell what Hajime’s expression was at that time, since he had his back facing me, but judging by the fear that shrouded Souda’s demeanor and the panic look that took over Fuyuhiko’s eyes once they saw the brunette, I knew I didn’t want to see Hajime’s face.

They began to close their eyes in fear and hold their hands up defensively, fearing that Hajime would pounce on them at that very moment. I couldn’t help but feel a surge of satisfaction, witnessing the two bullies in such a vulnerable state. It almost made me feel bad for them. 

After a long awkward pause, the pair opened their eyes and they sighed in relief when they figured Hajime wouldn’t be doing anything to them.

To my surprise they apologized to both Hajime and I. 

Hajime immediately relaxed and offered them to eat lunch with us — even though I felt like I didn’t want to, but of course I didn’t tell them that. 

In fact, I wanted to drag Hajime out of there and remind him of what happened the day prior , even though Souda and Fuyuhiko didn’t do anything during that time. 

Well, it’s Mondo who’s been the most abusive out of the three of them when it came to messing with me. Souda and Fuyuhiko had never hit me or anything like that in the past but they still bullied me anyway. But then again, I didn’t really want to deal with the pink haired shark boy and the baby wannabe gangster.

So I did what I did best. I kept silent.

When they took their seats, Hajime, wasted no time and asked them where Mondo was. Fuyuhiko and Souda looked at each other and back at us. That was when we learned Mondo was suspended for a month.

It made me feel relieved for the meantime but thoughts suddenly entered my mind and I began to feel something more than fear. It was probably dread… 

The paranoia and anxiety hit me hard like a baseball bat being swung to my head in full force. 

_What’s Mondo going to do to me when he gets back?_

And the worst part is, I would probably be facing the menace all by myself since Hajime’s day of departure is around that time.

But those aren’t the reasons why I’m feeling down today.

“No, it’s not.” I tell him.

“Then, what?”

“I’ll tell you when we get there.” I say. I continue walking, leading the way to where we were heading.

Hajime looks at me curiously for a few seconds more before giving up. He speeds up his pace to catch up to me so we can walk side by side.

After a few minutes of silent walking, we stop in front of the dense dark forest that’s been waiting for us the whole day. It used to be a clear walkway a few years back but now it’s conquered by the trees.

“Our destination is north of the island. We need to pass through the forest to get there. It should be a few minutes away.” I tell him.

Hajime nods and I look back down to the trail we are on. A shimmer of light catches my eye as my necklace dangles and dances in the daylight. It reflects some of the shine into my eyes. I touch the green ‘stone’ and I can’t help but smile.

.  
———  
.

“We’re here.” I say and Hajime’s looking at the large crater on the ground in front of us. He looks at me in confusion so I signal him to follow me.

I get closer to the cavity and I sit at it’s edge. It takes a few more seconds before Hajime sits right next to me.

He doesn’t say anything, but he continues to eye the large hole.

It’s the same as I remember it from before. The crater is in the dead center of the open space. The only proof left of it being a neighborhood are the abandoned houses—well, that’s what it used to be. Now, it’s just broken bricks on the ground, pieces of wood scattered all around, and some shattered glass and broken furniture here and there—the only sign that there used to be people living in the area. 

Now, it’s nature who took these broken up pieces and made it part of her home — broken walls overrun by the crawling jungle vines, multicolored polka dotted mushrooms growing on old tabletops, green thick moss resting on stone tiles and different species of bugs having a good time in between the nooks and crannies of the broken wooden floorboards.

I remember passing this neighborhood almost everyday when I was young. The area usually gave me a vibe of warmth from the afternoon sunsets as a kid, but now, it reminds me of past horror and pain.

“Hajime,” I finally speak up, my voice echoing in the peace and emptiness.

He stops eyeing the surroundings and looks at me. I hold his gaze for a while and I try not to tremble as I’m about to speak.

“Do you know what today is?” I ask.

“Today is Saturday.” He strokes his lower lip with his thumb, while looking off to the side. “October 4, 2014.” He seems to be in deep thought, probably thinking about what’s so different about today. It takes him a while to give up, then he looks at me.

I nod at him. “That’s right. Do you remember the journals?” I look back to the bottom of the hole.

He doesn’t say anything but I see him in the side of my vision, nodding. 

“Do you remember my first journal entry?”

“I think so. You wrote it when you were a kid right?”

“Yes, that’s correct. My first journal entry was dated on the fifth of October.”

“And that’s tomorrow.” He whispers. 

I have a feeling that he’s trying hard to connect the dots between the hole beneath us and the information I was giving him. “I always make sure to come here every year on the fourth of October.” I explain further. 

For the first time in days, I purposely look at his eyes. 

”This is where my parents died.”

His eyes grow wider and they soften as the words hit him. “I’m sorry.” He bites his lip. “What… what happened?”

I smile a sad smile remembering them. I look back at the gaping hole below my dangling feet.

“My parents used to tell Chiaki and I stories, on how they first met.” 

I breathe in deeply. 

_This is going to be a long day._

“When my mom was in her late twenties, she was taking her final year for her Ph.D. in astronomy, under the supervision of Uncle Tengan. I guess it was her interest in the stars that pulled her into wanting to become an astronomer.” 

_I miss mom a lot._

“That was also the time my dad migrated here from Towa city, he was an Aerospace engineer. He also knew Uncle Tengan and was in contact with him for employment.”

 _Dad too._

“During those days, there was a building being constructed up north.” 

I point to the direction of the structure, to show Hajime. 

You could clearly see parts of the building since it’s sitting above a hill, with it’s roof peaking above the tall pointed green canopies. 

“The building was said to be an extension to Hope’s Peak University. Uncle Tengan was already the headmaster of Hope’s Peak back then, and I guess, he, along with the school administration, decided to put up the building.”

I look back at Hajime and the brunette has his head tilted sideways. “If that’s another building of Hope’s Peak, wouldn’t that be too far from the high school and the main campus of the university?” he asks.

“Actually, that was one of the questions spreading around town. Indeed, it was strange to have it built far away from the main campus but I guess people shrugged it off or didn’t mind at all. I don’t think anyone even dared to question the school administration about it.”

Hajime’s eyebrows looked like it was knitted together. I bet he was more confused now compared to his state of bewilderment from earlier.

“But the place where it was built wasn’t the surprising thing. The surprising thing was, it wasn’t really an extension to the school.”

Hajime raises an eyebrow. “Then what was the building for?

“It’s a Space research facility, but it was kept secret from the whole island and our country’s government.”

“A space research facility…” He repeats, whispering the words into the air around us. The wind, carrying his words around.

I look back over to the distance, my eyes gliding over the huge building’s rooftops. 

“Yup… a space research facility where my parents worked in. By the time the building was finished being constructed, my mom got her Ph.D. while my dad was currently working on blueprints for the different projects headed by Uncle Tengan. Both my parents went under training for the old man, and thats where my mom and dad first met.”

A memory of my parents flashes in my mind. They used to laugh when they talked about how they first met—they told us how they were both getting in each others nerves while they competed against each other to be Uncle Tengan’s favorite recruit. They both hated each other at first but then they learned to get along. 

The flashback makes my lips curl into a small smile.

“Shortly after, the old man recruited the brightest minds, mostly fresh graduates from Hope’s Peak. He ordered them not to let the information leak out of the facility’s four walls. The town thought that people who went to the facilities were students going through their masters degree or Ph.Ds. They also thought the older looking bunch were school staff, but in fact, they were already working for Uncle Tengan as astronomers, engineers or scientists.”

“So everyone who was under the facility knew they were working illegally?” Hajime asks.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Hajime doesn't say anything else and it seems he is still listening to me intently. So, I continue.

“My parents worked together and soon they both fell in love with each other. They tried dating and things hit off. They got married soon after and had both Chiaki and me.” I give a small smile, remembering the times I had with them when I was young.

I look over to Hajime who also was mirroring me, since he too had a small smile plastered on his face. 

“Anyway, when Chiaki and I were around six to seven years old, dad was talking about completing a project for Uncle Tengan and both my parents seemed really proud of it. At the dining table, they told us about finishing building a space rocket.”

I remember every detail on how I felt that day. My mind was mystified and I couldn’t believe it completely. I knew my Dad was an engineer but it never occurred to me that he’s been building a rocket the whole time.

“But then, during that time, I felt a hint of sadness in my Dad’s voice and I could see it on my Mom too. There was something in her stare when she looked at both me and Chiaki. And I knew why, because after a few minutes, Dad told us that they had to leave a for a few months. They promised us they were going to come back and that they wouldn’t leave us again afterwards, that they would spend more time with us.”

I start to feel my body tremble and I feel a sharp pain on my right palm. I realize that I’m clenching my fist too tightly. I try to breathe and calm myself but then I feel a warm hand touch my shoulder which causes me to try to jump away in surprise. 

For the second time today, I meet Hajime’s eyes and he has a look of sympathy in them. I look back down at my feet and I grab his wrist and gently push it away. 

“I’m okay.” I reassure him, but the truth is, I’m not. 

I don’t think my heart can take another beating, I won’t be able to cope with losing another person who I deeply care about. So instead, I push the comfort he was giving me, away. 

I didn’t dare check the look he was giving me after that, so I decide to continue instead. 

“The day came. We had to wake up without our parents waiting for us in the kitchen. Instead, it was a familiar old man who I always see around the place where mom and dad used to work, waiting in the kitchen. The old man smiled and introduced himself to us while he prepared us breakfast. He told us we would be meeting our parents after eating our early meal and after getting ready, so we could spend more time with mom and dad before their ‘long trip’. The old man also told us that he would be taking care of us in the meantime, while our parents were gone. And that’s my earliest recollection of Uncle Tengan.”

“Oh, so that’s how you met the old man…”

I just nod.

“So, what happened?”

“After eating breakfast and preparing, we went through that hill, and onto the end of the island.” I say, my gaze on the hill, again.

“There, we saw boats waiting for us and we got on one and voyaged for something close to about an hour. We arrived at another island. And upon arriving on that island, I saw a rocket in the far distance. There, we were escorted by shuttle services to drive us to the launchpad.” 

From that time, I remember being in complete awe because as we neared the launchpad, the rocket ship that looked minuscule from afar was actually gigantic when it was right beside you. And imagine, someone in your family designing such a humongous size of advance technology and building that thing with such a small team. It was incredible. 

But knowing Hajime as a person coming from an advance technological civilization, he probably wouldn’t be impressed. He’s probably used to the sort of thing. Maybe, he’d even consider it outdated, like what a clunky old cellphone is to us humans compared to our smart phones of today.

“We stopped and the van’s doors were opened. I remember running immediately with Chiaki following right beside me, because that’s where I saw mom and dad wearing strange puffy looking suits. They hugged us as soon as we reached them. I remember a lot of tears exchanged between us and a number of comforting words and promises being thrown at us. At that time I believed them since I didn’t really understand the dangers of space travel. I eyed the ship afterwards, knowing that they’d be spending their whole time in it. It looked strong and safe. I also remember marveling at it’s size. I was proud of it, I mean, who wouldn’t? The ship was built by my dad and his coworkers after all.”

I pause for a bit, but I don’t plan on stopping the conversation there. This has been the longest time I’ve spoken to anyone but I don’t care.

I take a swift glance at my companion, making sure he’s still listening.

“After the byes and the promises were said, my parents and his coworkers entered the ship. Me, Chiaki and Uncle Tengan returned to the vans and they drove us to a safe distance where we could watch the launching of my dad's rocket. We stood there in the wide open area, our eyes glued to the rocket. The old man had his hand on my shoulder and his other hand on Chiaki’s while both me and my sister were holding onto each other, hand in hand and that was the last time we saw our parents.”

I’ll never forget that moment. It was the last time I kissed my mom and hugged my dad. It was the last moment we shared together as a family. 

I remember the roaring flames that the rocket ship emitted as it blasted off into the sky, with the smoke cutting the blue hues into half. 

I watched it as the sky swallowed the ship—taking my parents away from me—until I couldn’t see it anymore. The only comfort I had back then was knowing that the stars would take care of my parents. I mean, why wouldn’t they? my parents devoted their lives to studying them. They were the reason why my parents flew up there after all.

I would never forget it. Every time I think about it, the incident always comes vividly.

I hear Hajime say something as a stray tear slides down my cheek, both sensations pull me back from the memory.

“So, how did the launching go?” Hajime asks, in a slow pace, handling every word with care, like I'd break if he would say something wrong.

“It actually went well.”

“Then… what—“

“It was five months later, on the same date as today, they were finally returning to earth. It was supposed to be a safe procedure but something went wrong with the ship as it neared the earth’s orbit, causing the ship to fall from the sky. The thrusters weren't working but the emergency parachutes did, it lessened the ship's acceleration of falling but it wasn’t enough. And this..." I tell him, with my arms wide open, emphasizing the size of the place of impact. "This is where it landed.” I take in a deep breath and let my arms fall to my sides. “It drove the whole town in panic. It wasn’t until the next day we learned that it was my parents’s ship.”

“Nagito… I’m sorry.”

I say nothing in return but I stand up and walk to the other side of the crater.“Nagito?” Hajime asks, I hear him stand and pat the dirt of his pants. He trails off behind me. “Hey, where are you going?”  


“We’re not done yet. We’re going to visit the facility.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the delay! The next update will be 2 - 3 weeks from now. (I know, it's a long time. So I'm really sorry.)
> 
> See you in the next chapter! Thanks for being patient and thanks for reading! :)


	10. Space Facility

Until now, I’ve always been getting this feeling of how tiny I am when in front of this manmade structure. I tilt my head up and I can see Its size towering over me. If I estimate correctly, It’s two times taller than Hope’s Peak but of course, it’s nothing compared to how tall the rocket ship my parents traveled in. 

It would probably look pretty average to those people who came from the cities with all the towering buildings surrounding them, but this thing in front of me is the tallest building we have on the island. 

I could remember the first time looking up at it this close, when I was around six years old—that was the first time our parents brought Chiaki and me to their workplace. The only difference with this marvel that screamed human ingenuity and technological progress comparing it to ten years ago, was that it was now in nature’s hands.

It’s walls are covered by thick tangled vines that are crawling to its top, as if it was trying to conquer it. I also spot thick layers of moss overlapping some of the building’s surfaces and I can see the birds perching up in some of the ledges in the high areas of the structure, enjoying the island breeze, without a care in the world. 

The sight makes me sigh internally.

Sometimes I wish I was a bird. I wouldn’t have to worry about school or anyone else. No one could hurt me if I spent most of my life way up there.

Maybe that’s why I always hanged out at the school roof top before Hajime came into the picture. Aside from avoiding people, it made me feel that I had a bit of freedom so I stayed on my school’s rooftop after the end of every school day. I loved the feeling of relief that it gave me, even if it was just for a few moments.

I tilt my head back down and I fix my gaze back to what’s in front of me. 

I let my fingers glide over the glowing azure screen — a device to enter the password for the entrance door to the ‘secret’ facility. 

The door wouldn’t have been working if Hajime and I didn’t visit the power room earlier. We had to turn on some of the machinery to get this part of the building to have electricity and to get the door’s security turned on.

“So you’ve been visiting the facility since you were a kid?” Hajime asks with a raised eyebrow and skepticism in his voice. He’s probably surprised because I have access to such a place.

“Yeah, I’ve been snooping around the area ever since I was little but I always wondered why this screen didn’t work. I thought it was broken.” I say while still staring at the screen. “Until two years ago, I found my dad’s master key to the place. I visited the building like I always do every year but during that time, I gained access to some locked rooms of the building and one of them was the electrical room.” I point my thumb to one of the doors located outside the building. 

He gives me a small nod.

“When I got access to the room, I tinkered and randomly flicked some switches and that’s how I got to power up this security screen to enter my parent’s work place.” I say with a shrug.

I enter a string of numbers on the screen and a small beep travels to my ears as the color of the monitor turns to green.

The locks slowly click and a gust of warm air blows out of the entrance as the heavy rusty metal doors split open. The sudden loud noise echoes throughout the deep forest, frightening the birds into panic as they fly away into a safe distance. 

The twelve digit passcode to unlock this high-tech secure entryway has been engrained in my mind since our dad taught me how to input the code when I was seven years old. 

Whenever Chiaki and I were brought here by our parents, dad used to carry me so I could punch in the numbers that he recited for me to press. I could remember the look of pride in his eyes the first time I input the code without him telling me what the numbers were. 

The memory makes my heart clench and I can’t help but wince a little from the pain. Thankfully, my face was still facing the screen, concealing my expressions from where Hajime is standing. 

I turn around and I look at the brunette. 

“Now come on, let’s go.”

He looks at me and gives me another nod.

We both enter the building, our footsteps hitting the metal flooring, giving out echoes throughout the absurdly long hallway that’s brightly lit by white fluorescent lights. 

Right after taking the first few steps, we are hit by the faint smell of dust. The only evidence of the building being unused and forgotten, aside from the structure being covered by vines and being overrun by the birds and their nests, there’s a thick layer of dust resting on the floor.

If ever the whole place gets cleaned up, it would probably be as good as new and even though the building has been long abandoned, it still seems that everything is in a good and working condition, which is not at all surprising since the equipment like the door used in the facility are pretty heavy duty. It would probably still have a couple of years before it gets busted. It would probably even surpass my lifetime, if it had some maintenance here and there.

We take a few more steps into the building and I spot something peculiar on the flooring— aside from the trail that our shoes are leaving from stepping on the thick layer of dust, there seems to be two sets of footprints. One of them is trailing ahead of us, probably leading to the main facility room and another set of similar footprints are pointed to the opposite direction.

I feel my eyebrows press together as I observe the footprints in front of me, all the while, still continuing to walk with Hajime right behind me. The tracks that are ahead of us are covered in a thin layer of dust, which means it must be a few days or a few weeks ago when someone entered and exited the facility. It couldn’t have been me, since the last time I visited the place was exactly a year ago and I doubt the prints would still be here for me to see. 

I look over to Hajime, who seems to be lost in thought. He doesn’t seem to notice the footprints or my concern at all. I try to shrug it off — thinking that it must be a past employee returning to check out the place or something.

“Hey, Nagito?” Hajime asks all of a sudden, causing me to jump a little.

“What is it?” I ask, looking at our nearing destination, as we pass a number of other doors.

“You told me people believed that this would be a school right?”

“Yeah,” I look at him and I nod.

“How could this building be pulled off as a school if you said that this was used as a space facility. Didn’t anyone even inspect or visit the place?”

“Well, civilians weren’t allowed to enter the premises unless they had ‘school’ ID’s or special permission by uncle Tengan. Although, there have been a few cases before where only a handful of people — who aren’t part of the school — who have inspected the place.” 

I look back over to the end of the hallway and I finally spot the main door which was now a few steps away, all the while watching the brunette, using my peripheral vision. Hajime still has his eyes wandering all over the place. 

“But those inspectors were brought to the ‘front’ part of the facility which wasn’t that suspicious, considering the rooms looked like normal lecture rooms.” I continue.

“And I’m guessing that’s why the door we just passed through is hidden at the back of the building?” he says.

“Yeah, you’ve got that right.”

“I see.” He says softly into the air.

We continue with a few more steps to the main door at the end of the hallway, this time the door doesn’t have any locks or passcodes in them. As we finally step in front of it, the door makes a soundless swoosh, automatically sliding open.

We step into the dark room, and I flip the switch to turn the lights and the equipment on. 

The different machineries in the large room combine it’s booting up sounds together and starts it’s nostalgic symphony of soft electrical humming. Multicolored lights flash around us and different computer screens turn on and finally a flash of white hits the room as all the fluorescent lights turn on at the same time.

As soon as my eyes adjust to the brightness, I fix my sight on the floor, inspecting where the footsteps from earlier are heading. My eyes trail off to where the tracks lead. It seems like whoever the prints belonged to, moved around the room and climbed up using the ladder that lead to the rooftop where the mini observatory is located, but another trail told me that whoever has been up there probably left because another set of footsteps led to the opposite direction at the base of the ladder just like what I saw earlier. But still, I need to make sure that no one’s up there.

“Whoa…”

Hajime’s voice startles me again. I look at him and he’s wearing a look of amazement.

I watch him as he gazes around the room and rests his eyes on something at center of the room.

I look at what he’s gawking at and it seems to me that he’s staring at the only pod thing in the room.

I see Hajime’s heading for it and I try to grab him but he’s already too far ahead of me.

“Hajime, wait,” I shout, fearing that he might touch something that may cause us harm. I’ve never touched anything before since my dad always reminded me that some of the machines here can cause danger, if not used properly. 

Hajime steps in front of the machinery, and I stand beside him, grabbing his shoulder. 

He looks back at me. “Relax, I think I know what this is. This looks like one of our probing pods.”

I let go of his shoulder. “Probing pods?”

“Yeah probing pods. This is what we use to observe your planet’s animals once we get them onto our ship.” I watch him as he presses a combination of two buttons that causes it to open up. It splits down the center and it doesn’t make any noise. “The seniors at our school, even sometimes ‘borrow’ humans for their projects, storing them into the pods.”

My eyes widen which causes him to hold up his hands defensively. “Don’t worry, it’s not like we dissect them or anything. It’s kind of illegal and immoral for us to do that… at least.” He says. “It’s more for observational purposes.”

I just shake my head. “Never mind,” I cringe at the thought of dissecting people. “Anyway, please don’t touch anything else.”

Hajime just shrugs and I see him press the buttons to close the pod. “Your people are catching on with technology. These things look like the old modeled pods we used years ago.” 

“Uncle Tengan ordered the stuff. He wanted the latest equipment.” I say.

“Must have costed him a fortune.” Hajime says. “So uhh… why are we here anyway?”

I look to the footsteps at base of the ladder once again. 

_It can wait…_

“I just wanted to visit the place where my parents used to work.”.

“Oh, okay.” He pauses for a bit as I inspect where the rest of the footprints went to. “Um… Would it be okay if you tell me the rest of the story?”

I walk over to some of the computers where it looked like the footsteps were indistinguishable since the person probably moved around a lot, maybe because the person tinkered with the computers. I see some of the buttons were pressed since it had clean circular marks surrounded by a veil of dust. “Rest of the story?” I ask, looking back at my companion. 

“Yeah, like what happened after everything? I admit, I know little about your laws but shouldn’t Uncle Tengan be in prison right now for operating an illegal research facility and for launching a rocket into space without any form of license or permission?” He says, narrowing his eyes.

“I… I don’t know…” I’ve been thinking about that since I was a kid. I knew Uncle Tengan should have gotten into serious trouble. Everything seemed like a blur afterwards but I remember something weird happening during the whole ordeal.

“You don’t know?” Hajime asks. He gives me a quizzical look.

“More like I kind of forgot. I remember that morning the news announced the space crash.” I bite my lip as I feel another pang to my heart. “Uncle Tengan told Chiaki and me to stay at home. While we were home all day. The T.V. was running and I remember wanting to turn the T.V. off but Chiaki insisted on wanting to know more about the crash. She believed our parents were still alive and they’d be on the news. I guess she couldn't accept that they passed away. But I told her they were dead anyway and she started crying hysterically. She started shouting how wrong I was and that they’d be home soon.” 

The pain in my heart starts getting more intense and prolonged, like something is gripping on it but I fight through the pain and I continue telling the boy in front of me of what had happened.

“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to stop her from crying but she needed to know the truth. Her sobs died down immediately when we saw the research facility on television and a picture of uncle Tengan flashes on screen. You see, everyone was after Uncle Tengan, according to the news. The reporter told the viewers that uncle Tengan would be arrested and I remember the camera panning to the side, showing our country’s government agents and some police officers surrounding the research facility while a mob of our town’s people were shouting for his arrest. I panicked at the sight and I started shouting at Chiaki. I told her that Uncle Tengan wasn’t coming back either and that we’d be living on our own. With what I said, Chiaki started crying again. I turned the television off and went to my room, locking the door behind me and leaving Chiaki in the living room.”

Hajime doesn’t say anything and waits for me to continue while staring at me with wide eyes. I notice a look of sadness in them but there’s also a blanket of warming comfort that surrounded his green orbs. 

“I stayed at my room the whole day, writing on my journal and crying. I fell asleep at one point and when I woke up, it was already dark outside. I went back downstairs but Chiaki wasn’t there anymore and that was when the door opened with uncle Tengan who was sheepishly smiling outside with a bag of take-out. I heard Chiaki’s footsteps behind me and I guess we both felt relieved that he was able to make it home but we were also disappointed that it wasn’t our parents.”

“What? how in the world did the old man escape from the authorities?”

I look back over to the other computers to check more fingerprints and I just shrug. “I don’t know, the next day everyone seemed to forget what Uncle Tengan did. I asked him about it a few times after a few years later but he just either changed the subject or didn’t entertain my question at all. So I just gave up.”

“Well, that’s weird. My best guess is he must have lied to the public.”

“That’s what I was thinking. That’s why I don’t really trust him that much, but when I think about it, it would be impossible for him to get away with what he did. If he ever did lie, no one would believe him since information was leaked, and it was him against the whole island. Some of his employees even admitted that he was the mastermind of the whole thing.” I stop inspecting the other computers, they’ve all been messed around with too. I look back at the boy and it looks like he’s really trying hard to solve what happened years ago. “I tried researching about it, but nothing came up. It was just the crash that was recorded on the town’s news reports.” I say. 

“Have you tried asking other adults on what happened?”

“I did, they said they didn’t know what happened. They just knew that my parents were in charge of the research facility and that they were responsible for the crashing of the rocket ship. When I told them it was uncle Tengan who was in charge of the whole thing, they just laughed at me.”

“What about your sister. She should know about uncle Tengan too right? Since she was with you during the news report.”“Ahh… yeah… Actually, we haven’t talked about it since then.”

Hajime scrunches his eyebrows together. “About your sister, I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding each other. Has something happened between the both of you in the past? Is that why you guys haven’t been talking to each other?”

I just shake my head and give out a long sigh “I don’t know why she stopped talking to me… Let’s talk more about this later, I have to check on something really important right now. Just follow me.” I move over to the ladder. I want to make sure no one’s up there, if this place falls into the wrong hands, who knows what could happen?

Hajime looks at me with confusion but he follows my orders anyways.

We both climb up the ladder until we end up on the roof. The afternoon heat’s intensity has cooled down since it’s an hour away before sunset now. I feel the island breeze hit me, making my hair and clothes dance with it.

I look over the rooftop’s ledges and the image of the whole island sweeps me way. I get a bit lost in the moment for a while until Hajime snaps me out of it. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, right,” I say. I blink a few times before heading towards the observatory.

“I saw the observatory when I was roaming the place with my spaceship.” he says. “But I wonder what that huge antenna thing is at the corner of the roof top.” He says as he points to the tall metal beam sticking out of the building with something on top of it.

I eye it for a few seconds but I dismiss it as unimportant. “I have no idea.” I shrug and I continue to slowly take a few steps to the observatory. 

I glance at the vine covered dome and I see some of the vines have split.

_Someone must have rotated the observatory, that’s why the vines are snapped like this. I don’t remember where it was pointing before, but now, it’s rotated to point at the same part of the sky that my window is facing._

I use the five metal steps to enter into the observatory and it seems like no one’s inside. I know they probably left since the foot prints gave evidence to them leaving the area, but it doesn’t hurt to be sure. I sigh in relief.

I immediately look to Hajime who already has his eye pressed on the telescope’s eyepiece.

“I told you not to touch anything.” I say a little bit irate.

“You told me not to touch anything down there and not up here…” He smiles while he looks into the telescope. “Wow this telescope is pretty powerful. I can see a number of stars.”

My irritation gets replaced with curiosity. “What? You can see stars? In the broad daylight?”

“Well, yeah. I’ve spotted around three already.” he says, pulling his face away from the eyepiece. “Here, have a look.”

I shudder at the thought of looking at the stars. Those celestial lights are what brought my parents up there in the first place.

“No, uh, let’s just go.”

“Uhm, O-okay,”

I get back out from the observatory and Hajime follows suit.

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. It’s almost getting dark. I’m sure Uncle Tengan’s waiting for us already.”

 

.  
———  
.

The sun’s already setting. We are surrounded by hues of orange that’s cascading all over the island. Sweat trickles down my forehead as I lift my head up slightly to gaze upon the sky.

It’s been a long and tiring day, both physically and emotionally. I wipe the wetness on my face with my hand. I just want to get home and fall asleep right after a cold shower but he grabs my shoulder, delaying me from the rest that’s awaiting me.

I stop in my tracks and I face the boy but I look to my shoes instead of meeting his eyes. 

He sighs. I expected it, but I didn’t expect it to happen this soon.

“Is something wrong, Nagito? You’ve been distant for the past couple of days.”

I don’t answer him. I grip my bag’s straps that are resting on my shoulders.

“I thought the reason you were acting all cold is because of what you told me today. You’ve spoken to me and answered my questions a while back but now that you’re done for today, you’re back to being distant.” 

I pick up hints of irritation in his voice.

“It started after the day I told you about me…” His voice quivers. “Is it because you found out I was different?”

I widen my eyes in surprise. I look at him and it’s like he’s hurt with his own assumption.

“No, of course not!” I tell him with emotions rising in my voice. 

“Then what is it?” He says and he looks at me with his piercing narrowed green eyes. 

I look to where we stopped. It’s just right beside the shore where we arranged the rocks to form his school’s crest.

“Is this about me leaving again? I told you I’m going to come back. I’m going to visit you and Chiaki because we’re friends.”

No… he’s wrong. It’s not that. What’s bothering me is I can’t understand these mixed up emotions I have for him. 

What if all these emotions mean I like him? Then what? Do I tell him? I don’t think he’s going to like me back. Hell, I think he likes my sister and besides, even if he does like me back, he won’t be staying here on earth. He won’t be staying here for me. 

If I act like nothings wrong and keep on hanging out with him I’ll surely fall. Fall deep. And when he leaves… it will feel like losing my parents all over again. 

It’s not fair. I already have him as a friend by my weird feelings has to get in the way of everything. 

Whatever happens, one thing is for sure. I can’t tell him about these feelings. 

I guess there’s only one way out of this…

“Hajime, I don’t think I want to be friends with you anymore.”

Something flashes in his eyes as he narrows them even further. He doesn’t say a word as I turn my back on him.

I continue walking home and He doesn’t follow me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wait! Now, I'm back and hopefully I can update regularly like before. 
> 
> I'll probably move the update schedule to every Monday or every other Monday. (Once a week or once in two weeks, depending on how busy I get)
> 
> And don't hesitate on leaving some criticism, good or bad, as long as you tell me how to improve! 
> 
> Again, thank you! I hope you enjoy.


	11. Doubts

…

Silence…

Deafening silence.

I was always used to it, but ever since I met him I wasn’t comfortable living in the stillness of loneliness anymore.

The hug I’m giving my legs tightens as I listen to the dreadful absence of sound that’s adding weight into the air around my room. 

Without the white noise around me, I’m forced into a box where I have to face my thoughts. Just like right now, confusion and regret is taking their toll on me. It started ever since I told him I didn’t want to be his friend anymore. 

Being very well aware of the kind of luck that the heavens have bestowed upon me, I’m sure it won’t allow me to end up with a friend at the end of the day, but now that I had the chance to make one—even keep one—I lost it. 

And I lost it not because of my luck, but rather it was because of my own choice, by my own words.

Well… what else could I have done? 

I was scared.

I didn’t even know if I had better options than what I did. I mean… It’s just confusing and I still don’t know what these feelings I have that are popping up out of nowhere for the brunette, but one thing’s for sure, it’s more intense than anything I’ve ever felt before. 

I’m scared to admit it, but sometimes I suspect it’s because I’m falling for the boy. 

_What does that exactly mean for me?_

_Do I have to tell him?_

_Do I keep it to myself?_

And even if I do tell him I don’t think he’d be returning my feelings I have for him. 

I don’t think he even likes other guys and I’m not just stating this without reason. I do have some sort of proof to back me up: first, he laughed and joked about me liking other guys back at the beach and that was before I told him I did—he wouldn’t do that if he understood what it was like being gay; second, he’s crushing on my sister—the way he looks at her, the way he lights up just at the mention of her name, the way the both of them just seems so relaxed with one another.

I know these aren’t just assumptions, these are hard facts, truths that I have accepted.

I notice my breathing is getting heavier and my hold is getting a little too tight so I decide to count to ten and lean on my bed’s headboard to get a grip on my messy emotions.

…but what if I chose the latter instead—That I keep these feelings only known to myself. 

So let’s just say that I ignore my feelings and I do my best to stay friends with him. Nothing more. 

Will I be able to pull it off without me spilling my emotions here and there? Would he notice that I’m caging something inside of me that wants to burst at the seams? And what would happen if I keep hanging out with him? Won’t my feelings for him intensify making it harder to control myself? 

And besides… he said that he’s from a planet that’s million miles away from here, would it even be possible for our relationship to survive with that much distance between us? It’d just end up dying, right? 

He’d just forget about me, but the worst part of it all is that I’m certain I’d never forget about him.

Despite all these questions and options, I’m afraid I already made the decision. A decision that I have to live with, for the rest of my life.

That’s just great.

I shake my head to my stupid decision and I just pause. 

I take a deep breath as I look at the blank wall that’s staring back at me. My eyes start to drift around the room until it falls on the cling-wrapped plate of food that’s sitting cold on my empty desk. 

The food was for Hajime, but now it’s probably going to waste. I was nervous enough when dinner time came rolling in — he didn’t show up and I was being stared at by an impatient old man. 

I thought he was going to scold me or start questioning me. He’d be disappointed once he finds out I had a fight with Hajime. So instead of sitting there like a prey that’s about to accept it’s fate of getting killed by its predator I planned my escape. Well, I had no other option but to make an excuse for the sudden disappearance of the brunette. 

I wanted to do it, not for the alien boy, but for me. 

So I told the old man that he would be coming home late, since he wanted to walk around the island for a while. 

I’m not a hundred percent certain if the old man bought it, but I knew better than to fool myself. With the way he looked at me, I’m pretty sure he knew something was going on between me and Hajime, but he just kept it to himself. I’m not so sure on the reason why he didn’t pester me on the subject, I was glad he didn’t. 

The only thing that caught me off guard though was when I lied to Uncle Tengan, Chiaki paused before taking another bite of her food. I noticed something flash in her eyes, but I couldn’t read it.

She just bowed her head down and continued on eating.

Now, my eyes start roaming the room again until it automatically sets its sight on the feint green glow of light.

11:11pm.

I shut my eyes and bend my head downwards. I feel them starting to itch as the tears threaten to spill from it’s wells. I always hated the feeling when I was about to tear up. I felt weak so this time, I fight to hold it all back in.

I re-open them slowly, and something catches my attention. A dangling green object, glistening in the moonlight. My hand moves towards it and my fingers press gently on the stone.

For some reason, this is the second time the necklace gave me comfort. Reminding me of the boy.

 _“if you want to stay as my friend, don’t ever think about losing it.”_ The words rang in my head and memories start flooding in. Everything he’s done for me.

My other hand clenches into a fist, my eyes narrow and my body jumps out of the bed. 

I bolt to the door.

_I need to find Hajime.._  


.  
———  
.

My body shakes and my teeth chatter at the feeling of the night air kissing my skin. 

It’s useless to be wishing to have brought a jacket with me — another quick decision of mine that was made without thinking clearly which I mentally add to my long list of regrets. Too bad I can’t go back and grab an extra layer of clothing to cover my exposed arms, I’ve made it to more than half of the way to my destination and it would take longer to find the alien if I chose to do so.

I huff out a deep breath and I hug myself to at least try to keep myself warmer even if it was only for a little bit.

Stomping my shoes along the dirt road, I scan the area in case I see Hajime, but it’s too dark to make out anything from a far enough radius. 

It’s really a miracle I haven’t tripped during the whole way, given my bad luck and the almost pitch blackness of the surrounding area. I guess it’s a good thing that the moon is giving out some sort of light to my surroundings even if I didn’t want to admit it. I try my best not to look at what’s above me for I know I’ll just be receiving jeers and mocking laughter.

Taking a few more steps, the sound of crashing waves start to overpower the songs of crickets that’s been surrounding me the whole trip. A sudden gust wind blows my hair and fills my nostrils with a strong scent of brine and seaweed.

A few more meters and I’ll be standing on the shore. 

_He’s got to be there. I just know it. That’s the last place where I last saw him._

_If he isn’t, my second best guess is our secret cave, where else would he go?_

The sight of mesmerizing moonlit water reaches me. It looks like a dance between dark and light. 

As my feet finally move from grass to sand, I can make up a familiar silhouette of a boy sitting behind the rocks that we’ve assembled together to form his school crest. 

He’s all scrunched up, hugging his legs like me from earlier. His body is facing the ocean, but his head facing is facing off to the side, into the trees and bushes that are overtaken by the island darkness. His hair is raised, sticking out as if it’s startled. 

_I swear, that thing has a life of it’s own._

Looking over to the area that he’s facing, I find nothing of interest. It’s just surrounded by the usual island’s flora.

He looks over to me as I move towards him.

“Hey,” I say.

I sit down beside him, leaving a big enough space between us so we’re both comfortable. I notice that his bright green eyes have turned into a dark shade of emerald due to the lack of light. He has a straight face on and I can see his eyes searching mine.

“Hey,” He answers back, looking over to the ocean.

“I… I’m sorry.” I mutter under my breath. I try to fix my gaze on him even though I have an urge to look away in shame.

He doesn’t answer, he pauses for a long time and I feel my body begin to itch and sweat. I bite on my lip from the silence, but then he answers. “Yeah… me too.”

My eyes widen at his reaction, more from confusion than surprise.

“Wh-what?”

“I’m sorry that you had to meet me.” He says with his eyebrows knitting together.

I feel a pang in my heart. 

_What did he mean by that? Does he regret meeting me?_

“What do you mea—?” I ask, trying not to panic.

“Look,” He says and faces me with sharp eyes. “I’ve thought of what you’ve said.”

My hand curls on the sand, gripping it tightly. 

He sighs and the wind carries it’s weight around me. “…and I think you’re right. We shouldn’t be friends anymore. Maybe, we shouldn’t have been friends in the first place.”

My grip on the sand loosens and my eyes just decide to stare at the sand. 

“Oh.” was all I could come up with.

_I guess that’s it then…_

A warm touch hits my shoulder and a light squeeze follows.

“Nagito, I—“

As I’m about too look up I hear a loud ruffling sound near the bushes. I look over to where the sound was coming from, and I get a glimpse of a silhouette of a man before it disappears into the darkness.

I guess I wasn’t the only one who heard it because Hajime’s looking at the same place where I saw the shadow.

He looks over to me and whispers. “Before you arrived, I felt someone watching me from the bushes.” 

The information that he just gave out and the fact that I saw a shadow-like figure of a man is giving me goosebumps everywhere.

“I think we should go.” I say.

“I’ll just grab my stuff and I can head somewhere else to sleep.” He says with a downcast gaze.

“You don’t have to do this. You can still sleep over at our place until you get home…”

“I don’t think that would be good for the both of us.” He says. 

Another pang hits me in the heart. The sharp pain travels to my whole body like my heart just pumped out poison.

More ruffling sounds emerge from the bushes.

“Okay fine, but just for tonight.” He says, fidgeting and looking back at the bushes. 

As the words left his mouth my heart just sunk, but I nod anyway. 

_Maybe we can talk more about this tomorrow._

Right now, I don’t have the energy to argue. I just want to sleep and forget about it all.

.  
———  
.

It’s been awkward ever since we got home last night. Hajime and I haven’t spoken a single word to each other the whole time, and now, we’re here eating our breakfast while Uncle Tengan’s sitting across from us, whistling a tune while reading the daily newspaper. 

I glance over to the empty chair right beside him—Chiaki must be asleep, she probably stayed up all night playing video games again.

The thoughts of her looking at me like that from last night floods me again. I try to shake it off my mind by looking back at the newspaper that’s covering the old man.

We haven’t told him on Hajime’s plans yet. I don’t even know if he’ll allow it, but I think whatever Hajime chooses, it won’t be up to us. 

As much as I want him to stay, I have no idea where the brunette is thinking of going in case his plan pushes through. I hope he’ll be okay at least.

I glance over to the boy, and he looks like he’s wistful. He has his gaze fixed on the plate in front of him, moving the food around with his spoon like it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. He hasn’t even taken a single bite out of it yet since when we sat down ten minutes ago.

He accidentally drops the spoon because an intrusive knock startles the both of us. Uncle Tengan’s quick to his feet, he’s already standing with his newspaper folde and laid neatly on the table.

“Who could that be? It’s a Sunday morning.” he says, grumbling, while heading for the door.

Hajime looks over to me and blinks.

I hear the door open followed by some mumbling sounds, and finally, loud shuffling could be heard on our wooden floor which seems to be like multiple sets of footsteps.

I see Hajime fidget a bit from my peripheral vision.

The sounds becomes louder until we are greeted by Uncle Tengan followed by two men in uniform: one with the familiar set of white hair; and the other wearing that same familiar scowl he always displays.

Uncle Tengan offers them to sit across from us as he takes a seat near Hajime.

“Good morning, Nagito, Hajime.” officer Munakata greets that’s followed by a grunt from officer Sakakura.

I nod while I hear Hajime gulp which is followed up by a shaky greeting.

The white haired officer looks over to Hajime with a small smile while he folds his hands and places them on the table while his partner brings out a file case and he proceeds to snap it open. He then takes out a document to show us.

“Now tell me, is your name really Hajime Hinata?” Officer Munakata says.

“W-what? of course it is.” Hajime answers.

“Well, we’ve tried making contact with the person who we suspected to be a relative of yours.” The white haired officer continues. “And he has stated that you are indeed his child.”

I look over to Hajime who has his eyes wide open. He tries to say something, but it stutters out into a jumble of inscrutable series of syllables.

_Does that mean he’s been lying all this time?_

I shift my body in my seat and I feel an itch on the back of my hand.

“But it seems the person who is claiming to be your Dad has a different family name from what you gave us, and the thing is, he can’t provide us with specific documents of you for now.” Officer Sakakura says.

“He says he’s misplaced them.” Munakata continues. “In case he can’t provide us with the documents, we have to give you a DNA test for DNA matching. And he has to work on your retrieval of said documents.”

I look over to Uncle Tengan who has his eyes in thin slits. He’s also rubbing his chin as if he’s trying to figure out his next move in a chess game.

“Unfortunately, we can’t hand you over to him unless the DNA matching comes positive or he shows us a document of your identification like a birth certificate. It’s for verification purposes, but the thing is, he won’t be able to find your documents or take the DNA test for a few weeks from now due to traveling because of his work.” He adds.

Hajime finally explodes and springs up, knocking down the chair he was sitting on in the process. “N-no, you guys are wrong! My name is Hajime Hinata! That guy isn’t my Dad. I already told you, I don’t even know the guy!” 

“Sit down kid. Normally, you’d be in trouble, you should be thankful we let you off the hook with all that amnesia bull shit and the fact that you gave us counterfactual information.” Officer Sakakura spits out surprisingly with a calm demeanor. He stands up and approaches the panicking boy beside me.

I freeze in my seat, not knowing who to believe, not knowing what to do.

The huge officer grabs one of Hajime’s wrist. “We’ll be transporting you to Towa city this afternoon. Towa city’s Department of Social Services will take care of you while you can wait for your Dad.”

“Hold on now, I don’t think that man is his father.” Uncle Tengan says. 

Hajime looks over to the old man and he looks back and scowls at the towering officer in front of him.

_Why would Uncle Tengan think that? The man said he was Hajime’s Dad. And another thing, he definitely looks like an older version of him._

“Mr Tengan, we’re sorry, but there’s nothing we can do. We have to send Hajime to Towa city. All of our gathered information is leaning on him being that man’s son.”

“Yes, that may sound true, but that doesn’t mean it is indeed factual. Why not wait for the DNA matching test before you can bring him over there?” Uncle Tengan says with a calm smile followed by chuckles.

“We can’t let that happen. We’ve already contacted the DSS… unless…” Officer Munakata says and glances to the side.

“Unless what?” Hajime asks. His eyes widen and I can see some hope spilling out of them.

“Unless anyone here can provide evidence that you aren’tt from Towa City.” The white haired officer declares.

We all look to Uncle Tengan for an answer, but after a brief moment, he closes his eyes and shakes his head with a small frown plastered on his face.

I look to the boy who already has his shoulders slumped and his head lowered in defeat.

My head starts spinning. All these new information and doubts being thrown at me are making my head implode, but I don’t want to believe them… I want to believe him. I want to believe in Hajime. I want him to talk to me, to tell me everything. I want us to keep on being friends. I still want to cling on the the thread of hope that we have.

As they pulled a struggling Hajime out of the kitchen an arrow of light hit me in between my eyes, giving me a sudden realization.

It’s been under all our noses the whole time and It’s just now that I came to realize it!

“Wait!” I shout as I jump off my seat. “I do have evidence.”

The boy with slumped shoulders looks back at me with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

I point to his shirt and all the adults look at the shirt and turn their heads back at me in confusion.

Hajime’s eyes light up, understanding what I mean.

Hajime shakes his arm to free himself from the hold of officer Sakakura and proceeds to slap his own forehead. “Nagito, you’re brilliant! My shirt!” He exclaims.

“Your shirt?” Officer Munakata asks with a raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, my school crest.” Hajime beams.

“If you can’t find any school that owns that school crest from Towa city, then he isn’t from Towa City.” I say.

Officer Sakakura sneers. “Really? A school crest? How do we even know if that logo isn’t made up or if it isn’t some kind of brand?”

“Well it’s the best we’ve got for now and evidence is evidence.” The old man says.

Officer Sakakura huffs out. 

“But you do understand there may be consequences for you if you keep this kid under your care while a man out there is claiming that Hajime is his child..”

“Yes, of course.” The old man says while walking over to them. “I’m confident Hajime here is telling the truth.” He slaps Hajime’s back and Hajime gives off a goofy grin.

“Okay then, but we have to swab Hajime’s inner cheeks for the DNA testing and in the mean time we’ll do some researching on the logo of Hajime’s shirt.” The white haired officer says while grabbing his phone from his jacket. “If it comes up as a brand of some sort, he’s going straight to Towa.” He adds while snapping a picture of Hajime’s shirt.

“Of course, I understand.”

Hajime looks back at me with a soft smile.

_There’s still hope._


	12. Faith

Two simultaneous clicks and both my legs turn into noodles. 

A loud hard thud and my entire body freezes.

Hajime just finished setting his suitcase down on my room’s carpeted floor and yet, here I am, watching him as he’s about to slip away from my life.

It’s like my body short circuited because no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to perform a simple task that I’ve been meaning to accomplish since the time the officers took their leave—to talk to the brunette. The words I want to say aren’t just coming out of my mouth. 

The only thing that’s functioning is my heart and my head, and both seem to be in overdrive. They are practically screaming at me, wanting me to ask him to stay and to take back the careless words that left my lips yesterday.

But other than that, there’s something else that I’m worried about. It’s another concern I have—I want to make things clear about the information the officers served us during breakfast. 

I want to be able to ask Hajime what’s the nature of his relationship with the guy from Towa City. 

I know, Hajime, told me he doesn’t know the middle-aged man, but I can’t seem let go of the coincidences; the man looks exactly like him but older, and now, we have information that the man is indeed claiming to be his father. I mean, why would a stranger claim someone he doesn’t know to be his own son? 

And because of it, It’s like there are two groups of beliefs in my mind that are competing against each other at a game of tug of war. One group is telling me to believe in the space boy and to trust in what he says while the other group is telling me that everything he told me are nothing but lies. And the thing is, the rope they’re tugging at, is probably made out of my heart strings because this isn’t just a mental battle, it’s an emotional one as well. It’s like I can feel every pull, because with each conflicting idea that’s being thrown at me by my brain, I can feel quick sharp pains in my chest. 

Although both groups are desperate to win over my mind, they share a common goal; to save me from pain that I probably can’t handle.

But if you ask me, neither one seems to be winning, no matter how much I want one of the sides to stop already.

But, whatever…

This constant doubt has been going on and on in my head for a while now, and I’m just getting sick of it. It’s been causing me distress, even more than what I was dealing with before I met the chestnut haired boy, who I’m probably falling for.

And yes… _falling_ for him is confusing as hell too, plus, it’s difficult to deal with. It’s like I like him, and yet, at the same time, I hate him. I hate him for giving me this storm of emotion and confusion. I hate him for not opening up to me, If he just did. then we probably wouldn’t be in this mess.

_Why does my life have to be this way?_

I sigh inwardly. With everything going on inside my head for the past few days, It’s a miracle I haven’t been thrown into a psychiatric ward yet.

_Argh._

Hajime clasps his hands together and stretches them outwards into the air signaling that he’s done and ready to go. He let’s both his arms fall to his sides with a long sigh and he turns around to face me. 

“Thanks again for saving me back there.” he says with a small smile, making my lips slowly curl upwards, mirroring his. “The evidence you gave those officers should have been obvious to me. I can’t believe I didn’t think about it, but nonetheless, it was brilliant.” He gives a light hearted laugh but I don’t laugh with him because I know what’s coming next. After a short pause, his smile slowly lowers into a frown and my heart drops with it. 

He looks off to the side and scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I guess I better go. Thanks for all your help.”

He turns back around to grab his suitcase and my lips start to quiver. I dig my nails into the palm of my hands as if it will get me to start talking.

_Hurry hurry hurry._

“Wait.” I finally cry as he headed for the door. Well… it sounded more like a squeak than anything else.

He turns back around and he raises his eyebrows—one higher than the other. “What is it?”“I-i uhh… You can’t go.” I bite my lip wishing those words were enough to make him stay.

“Why not?” He let’s go of his suitcase and it makes a thudding sound again as it hits the carpeted floor.

 _I need to think of an alibi. Fast._ “I— uhh… well…” I swallow to get rid of a lump that was forming on my throat. ” You have nowhere else to go. So uhh… why not stay here?” nervous laughter emits from my mouth and I cross my fingers, hoping my highly enticing proposition is enough to make him stay.

“I’m sure I’ll find a place. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” He looks to the floor like he’s uncertain of what he just declared. ”But even if I don’t, I think I can make it on my own. I’ll just have to survive like how your early ancestors did. We even talked about it in class at one point.” He rubs his chin. Probably recalling what they discussed in his class. 

I don’t see the point on why they’d be discussing such topics in an alien class, but who am I to judge? We too have to go through pointless topics in school that we don’t necessarily need for our future jobs. 

“One lecture was about how you guys gathered food in the wild and stuff like that.” He explains further. “Oh, and hunting! They showed us how you guys produced weapons to hunt.” He beams, slamming his fist on the palm of his other hand. “And fishing too! I’d be needing to build a boat to reach deep ocean waters though… Yeah, a boat.” He looks upward while rubbing his chin with a smile like he’s thinking fondly of building one, right away.

I huff out some air. If I had the capabilities of personifying chat emojis, I’d have a sweat drop animation sliding down my head by now. It really seems he’s set on doing this, but I really don’t want him to leave… even if a part of me thinks he’s a total liar. A total liar that I think I like way too much… If only he could like me back the same way…

 _Ugh._ I need to stop. Those were the kinds of thoughts that brought me here in the first place. Anyway, back to the sales talk.

“But what about that guy in the bushes from last night? Aren’t you afraid of what he might do to you?” I say.

“It’s just probably some guy wandering in the forest.” He shrugs.

“Yeah, at that time of night?” I roll my eyes. 

He scoffs. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll make sure he doesn’t get as close as thirty feet away from me if I ever spot him again.” He lifts his bag and continues moving towards the door. “Well, see you. I’ve got to start gathering the materials I need before the sun sets.”

“W-wait.” I step in front of his way to block him from escaping.

“What is it this time, Nagito?” He says, with hints of irritation building up in his voice.

“But if you leave and the police try to find you, Uncle Tengan would be getting into trouble.”

He pauses for a few seconds then he looks back up at me and says “Then I won’t tell him I’m leaving to make it look like I ran away. I’ll make sure to thank you guys when I return.”

“Isn’t that a little too risky? The police might catch you and—“

He furrows his eyebrows together. “I said, don’t worry about it. Now please, step aside so I can go through the door.” 

It seems like with whatever excuse I come up with, it won’t make him want to stay. 

There’s probably only one reason that could stop him though — to tell him the truth, to explain to him why I said such nonsense yesterday. But then again, telling him I made a hasty and stupid decision to cut our friendship because I didn’t know what to do with my feelings, might even make him want to leave even more.

“Nagito, are you just gonna stand there all day? Because I’m gonna jump out of the window if I have to.” he says with obvious sarcasm ringing in his voice. I think.

“No.” I say.

“No, what? No, you’re not gonna stand in front of me all day? No, you’re not making me jump out of the window?”

“No, you can’t leave. I want you to stay.”

He looks at me with those green eyes of his that looks like it’s now clouded by confusion. “I—i don’t get it…”

_What’s there to not get? I want you here._

“Get what?” I ask like I don’t know what he’s talking about.

“I don’t get you.” He points at me while his eyes try to search mine. “Yesterday, you told me you didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Now, why are you stopping me from leaving?”

The memories of yesterday are replaying in my mind and my vision is starting to get cloudy at the corners. “I… I didn’t mean it.” I whisper and it’s laced with guilt and regret.

“Nagito, during the first days of getting to know you, you tell me you want me to stay, and I remember you being so concerned about me being friends with you.” I see creases are forming on his forehead as he tries to make sense of all my emotional instability. “And I answered you with a ‘yes, we are friends’.” The irritation from earlier is heating up and it’s probably transforming into anger. “Then you got worried about me leaving and I promised you I was going to visit you again. And after I open up to you, confirming your suspicion of me being an alien, you start becoming cold towards me. And yesterday, you told me you didn't want to be friends anymore.” He breathes in deeply and tries to calm his tone of voice. “And now, here you are, trying to stop me. Saying that you didn't mean what you said yesterday. I don’t—“ He sighs. “Why?” His pupils makes slight movements, going from left to right, like he’s reading a book that’s in my own eyes..

The room is quiet. The faint sounds of crashing waves stop. The seagulls stop, mid conversation. All I hear are two hearts beating. _Or is it just mine going twice the normal pace?_

I choke and cough. 

_Should i?_

“Because, I think I like you. And i don’t think it’s just ‘like’ as in ‘like as a friend’, but more of a _like like_ in a romantic sense, you know? And you’re probably going to end up being disgusted by me and you’d think I’m weird, but, I know you, you’ll decide to stay, because you’re kind like that. But eventually, things will start getting awkward between us, and nothing will ever be the same. Honestly, I’ve never been this scared… I’m scared to lose you, Hajime. You’re my only friend. You’re the only one who makes me believe that I’m not some kind of human garbage. You’re the only one who makes me believe that there’s another side to the reign of bad luck in my life; and that other side is bright and hopeful with good luck. I mean, meeting you was already very lucky of me. And that’s why I ended up saying those mean things to you. I just want you to know, I didn’t mean it. And that’s why, now, I’m telling you to stay because all I want is for you is to be by my side. I don’t know why, but probably, the reason is, other than being my friend, it’s because you gave me something no other person has given me ever since my parents left me and Chiaki; A shining future with possibilities of love and hope. And because of this, I think I’m falling for you, Hajime Hinata.” Those were the things I wanted to shout out loud. For the world to know, for him to understand and not miss a single word, but I don’t think it’s the time… _so probably, not now._ Instead, I decide to go for another route. A route that doesn’t completely stray away from the whole truth but it’s still true nonetheless—I’ll offer an answer that is vague—because I’m a coward.

“I panicked, okay? The things I’ve been feeling lately have been more than overwhelming. My parents’ death anniversary, being alone since I was seven, but mostly, having a friend for the first time is just too confusing for me to handle at the moment. I do want to be your friend, Hajime. And I take back what I said yesterday. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

“Is that why you’ve been acting strange lately?” he asks with his earlier anger completely untraceable.

I nod and mutter a small yes.

I wait for what he’s about to say next and I see a small smile growing on his face and it brings me an enchanting fervor that’s erupting from my very core. 

_Give me one more chance. I promise. I won’t screw up again._

“I’m sorry…” He says.

My heart sinks back in and starts to crack. 

_I hope it’s not what I think it is._ He breathes in deeply, his chest’s inflating with so much air until he breathes out through his nostrils. “…for giving up on our friendship so easily. I knew you were upset because of the memories of your parents but I thought there was something more to the coldness you were giving me. I thought you were tired of me or something. I didn’t really understand everything you were going through.” He looks to the side with what seems to be like shame pouring out of his eyes.

I blink from disbelief. “What? why would you think I’d get tired of someone like you?” I ask.

He shakes his head and shrugs. “But, I can say the same to you though. You’re my first friend too.”

I try to register what he just said but it seems I can’t fully comprehend the information. 

“What?”

_What does he mean first friend? A guy like him?_

I waited for him to say he was just kidding but nothing of the sort came. A small sad smile hung on his face.

He moves past his long forgotten suitcase to head my bed and I follow.

We both sit down. “Yeah.” He gives out a small laugh. “I mean, I have my classmates but they just don’t talk to me like the way you do.”

My heart softens at his words. I feel both sadness and a sort of fluttering in my heart. Sad because he’s experienced something like me, fluttering because he’s calling me his first friend and since he’s opening up to me. “What do you mean?”

“Everyone’s just kind of an acquaintance to me. Not a single person has called me a ‘friend’ before.”

“Oh…” I say, hoping I can say something to encourage him but nothing good enters my mind.

“That’s why I didn’t fight. That’s why I just stood there when you told me you didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I really don’t understand. How could such an amazing person such as yourself have no friends?” I ask out of curiosity but I probably sounded sarcastic since, Hajime, answers me with an eye roll.

“No really, you are an amazing person.”

“Well, I can say the same to you.” He says looking to the floor with a small dust of pink on his cheeks.

I can’t help it but my face heats up too.

“But they don’t think so.” He continues. “Everyone on my planet has these special gifts, but I don’t have any. That’s why I’m mostly treated as an outcast by my peers. My parents treat me like I’m not their child. No one sees anything in me.”

As I was about to give comforting words and tell him to forget about them and to just stay here with me if he wants to, his face brightens like a supernova.

“But luckily, my school just offered me a scholarship deal a few months ago.”

“A scholarship deal?”

“Yeah, they call it the Kamukura project. All they need to do is to give me these artificial talents. The process is dangerous but I’m confident I’m in the right hands. I’ll gain loads of talents and I’m hooked for a bright future. My mom will finally acknowledge me, and I’ll gain friends.” He gives me a wide grin.

I didn’t like the sound of that. It sounds too sketchy to me. But he seems so happy and so sure about it. _So much for trying to offer him to stay…_ I smile for him. “I’m happy for you, but I like you just the way you are, talented or not.”

“But if I don’t grab the opportunity, I won’t have a future back at my planet.” he tells me like it’s a matter of fact.

“But still, you said there were dangers to it, so why not stay here instead? I mean who says you can’t have a future here?” I say, with my arms wide open to emphasize the ‘here’.

He just looks at me like I’m an idiot.

“I’ll still hold the offer open for now. You can take it anytime you want.” I say.

“I’ll think about it.” he says. At least there’s a chance right? It’s better than nothing. I smile and he just smiles back at me and we just fall into this comfortable silence.

After a few minutes I decide to speak up again. I need to get this off my chest before it ruins everything.

“Hajime, Thank you for telling me about yourself and I’m really sorry for all of this.” He opens his mouth to speak, but I continue to finish what I was saying before I miss the chance. “My mind’s really a mess lately and I want to be honest with you.”

He looks at me, with what looks like to be curiosity and expectation.

“I… I’ve been having trouble believing in everything you’ve been telling me and that’s another reason why all of these things just happened between us.”

He raises a brow. “Believing in what?”

“Like, you know… if you’re really an alien.”

He playfully rolls his eyes since we both know I’ve been bugging him about being an alien since day one and here I’am, doubting him again. “Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but it doesn’t matter to me if you are having doubts with all the things I’ve been telling you,”

_It doesn't matter?_

“but I think we both need to place some faith onto each other.”

_Faith, huh?_

“You mean, to just completely, trust each other?” I ask.

“Well, yeah, sort of. Isn’t that one of the foundations of friendship?” He asks and smiles at me. “So, is there anything I can do to strengthen your trust in me?”

“Well, there is one thing” I scratch the back of my neck. “I’m sorry for asking this again but… Is that guy really…?”

His eyes bounce off to the side again to avoid mine. “Well…”

Before I get to hear what he has to say, three hard knocks startle Hajime and me.

.  
———  
.

“Nagito, whatever happens don’t let Hajime out of your sight.”

I look at the old man in confusion. His wrinkly hands are gripping my shoulders tightly. He looks really worried about all this now, and he’d probably kill me if I fail to do what he asks of me.

“If the police approach you and the boy, tell them to come to me first.”

He shakes me a little and I nod slowly, still unsure of what’s going on. I don’t know why he’s acting like this all of a sudden.

“And if he tries to run away, make sure to bring him back home or to at least tell me immediately.” He let’s go of his death grip and he bites one of his thumb’s nail and looks off to the side for a while until his eyes bounce back to me. “Do you understand?”

I nod.

“Okay, good.” He looks at me and his eyes, ever so slowly, falls somewhere to my neck. They squint, and out of nowhere he grabs the necklace Hajime gave me. He rests the stone on his palm and looks at it closely. “Where’d you get this?” he demands.

“I— uh… Hajime gave it to me.” I say, taken aback by how strange his behavior is.

He pauses for a bit and his eyes return to normal. “Oh…” He coughs and it looks like he’s the same old man again. “Sorry about that. I’m just worried about, Hajime, is all. He’s a good kid.” He says as he slowly moves away and stops near the steps, looking at the top of the staircase. “I think he’s really helped you and Chiaki come out of your shells and I’m grateful” He says with a small smile forming on his lips. “That’s all, you can go back up now.”

Oh, is this what it was all about? Has he been acting off because he’s genuinely worried for the boy? I shrug to myself. But it really does seem like he’s grown a liking to him. Maybe he even sees him as his ‘third child’ now.

With that thought, I can’t help but smile too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few more chapters and we're done! :)
> 
> Thank you for everyone who has read my work and gave it a shot. Thank you guys too for all the comments you've been giving and the kudos you've been leaving. It never fails to make my day.
> 
> I hope you guys will enjoy for what's coming up next.


	13. Joyful Life

In a surprising turn of events, this month has been rather kind to me. 

I’d like to think that, the universe finally gave notice to my life and finally opened it’s heart, taking note of all my past experiences. Seeing as my life was nothing but a pile of trash put together, it finally took pity on me. It extended it’s arms and gave me a warm embrace. It then proceeded to take out a gold platter full of the right components to make a “life that’s worth living” and handed it to me with encouraging words; “Hey, Nagito, here you go. You deserve a break, so don’t worry about it.”

But then again, that would be really odd, too good to be true even. Thinking back at the horrible past surprises that happened during the entirety of my life, I can’t be too cautious. 

I mean, who knows? The universe is probably winding back, with a wooden bat on its iron-hold grip, ready to swing at me at anytime—probably when I’m too busy being intoxicated by the ease I’ve been experiencing for the the past month. The next thing I’ll know is, _Wham!_ It hits me right on the temple with a lethal blow. Continuing to bat me down even more as I’m lying on the ground.

Just great.

Seriously though, I do pray, to whoever’s in charge of the universe, that it’s the former idea in my head that’s being fulfilled at this very moment. 

Hey, at least an optimistic point of view would be nice for a change. It’d make life a little more bearable. 

As long as Hajime’s telling the truth; that he’ll be coming back soon after his departure, then I think I’ll be okay even if I get hit multiple times—figuratively speaking of course. I don’t want to be beaten until I’m dead before Hajime arrives on his promised visit. 

I really have high hopes that he will indeed keep his word.

But moving on, the reason why I’ve been saying my life took a turn for the better, is because for the past few weeks—since my last _fight_ with Hajime—things seemed to have been getting so much lighter for me. Compared to everything I’ve been through, it’s like I’m wafting away on a cloud. There were no signs of the guy from Towa city. No police visitations, except for the occasional updates. No alien visitations to take Hajime away… yet. No fights going on between both Hajime and I. No bullying at school. And miraculously, I had nothing to be sad about during the whole month. 

But like every other thing in my life, it wasn’t entirely perfect. 

I still had the occasional doubts, jealousy kept popping up by my side every time I saw Chiaki and Hajime hanging out together, and with much worrying, I still anticipated the updates from the police about the man from Towa city. The last time I tried to talk to Hajime about it was when uncle Tengan interrupted our conversation with a knock on my door. I had no choice but to end our conversation there, since I had to go to the old man before he scolds me again.

After listening to the geezer, I went back for the extraterrestrial boy in my room and I found him reading an old comic book—which was given to me when I was young— about an alien race invading the planet earth. It was at that moment I found myself to reach a zero capacity to question the boy. Or rather, it was more like fear was keeping me on a leash, not because I thought about him going on a rampage and killing people with lasers, but instead, I felt myself being frozen with the idea of us fighting again. I felt like he didn’t really want to talk about it, so I left the wonder of it all, floating in my head instead of voicing it out.

Even though I wasn’t able to accomplish the task, I was glad and thankful because the alien decided not to push through with his plan of running away and hiding in the forest-dense parts of the island. And to be honest, that’s the main thing that kept me hanging a huge grin on my face all month. And to top it all off, I’ve been feeling that him and I have been getting closer. 

I’ve noticed that he’s been doing things for me, that strangely enough, seemed so familiar to me. I couldn’t wrap it around my head. 

As I began to see a familiar pattern, I had a theory brewing on why his kind actions felt like something that happened to me in the past. 

To make sure of it, I decided to confront him and ask him what he was doing. 

He didn’t want to admit it at first, so I playfully insisted by grabbing the lock of hair that always stood out from his head. I yanked it for a number of times until he finally gave up and explained it to me.

He said something like wanting to make my journals a reality, to make them hold some kind of truth by me experiencing the things I’ve written even if they weren’t on point.

And I swear, at that very moment, my heart erupted with glee. I was so touched. I couldn’t even respond to what Hajime just said. After five minutes of trying to get me to move or to say something, he just walked out of boredom and left me alone in the kitchen. I just wouldn’t budge. And I stayed like that for probably half an hour. 

An example of these diary entries that came to life was; knowing that I’ve written a lot of cheesy but warm and fuzzy family dinners, he decided to cook for the whole family one evening. He prepared three of my favorite dishes. Surprisingly, two out of the three dishes he prepared were way better than what I could have attempted but the third one was a little bit burnt. That English chef on the television would definitely kick him out of the kitchen for his third dish. But regardless, I was touched by the whole thing. I even ended up elated for the rest of the evening.

There were also other things he did, like watching my favorite movies with me on my computer or hanging out by reading books on the beach.

With everything he’s been doing, I felt a warmth in my heart that’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt in the past.

And that’s when it happened. A realization hit me with the same intensity of a meteor crashing down to earth.

I like Hajime Hinata.

I like him a lot. 

And I mean, a whole lot. A feeling of wanting to be more more than friends.

Normally, people would rejoice about feeling that way. But instead of butterflies in my stomach, I feel like there are planets in my heart. Their weight, pulling me down to the earth’s fiery core.

Right now, there are only two things I’m thinking about:

_One, there’s no way that he’d like me back._

_Second, There’s no way that he’d decide to stay here on earth, with me, for the rest of his life._

But enough of the overthinking. Optimistic perspective, remember? Gold platter. Good life. 

I breath out. 

Right now, I’m here to enjoy the rest of the afternoon, because we’re here, walking on the beach. Probably fulfilling another one of his plans of making my fantasies a reality because he’s an amazing friend.

And that’s the thing, he’s my friend. He’ll be with me, no matter what because that’s what he promised and I should be contented with that.

So instead of looking down, I tilt my head up and look in front of me. And that’s when the negative emotions return.

I’d be gushing with what’s happening right now, but seeing what’s in front of me, I decide to change my mind. Why? because It’s not just me and him pacing through this blanket of sand. It’s me, him and my sister.

They’re both leading the way, side by side and I’m trailing off from behind.

So I close my eyes as my toes scrunch down on the sand, taking in the feeling of the rough but soft texture of every grain on the bottom of my feet, trying to concentrate on other things than what’s in front of me. The sand is not too hot, but perfectly warm, like the sun has been heating it up all day, expecting us to spend the Sunday afternoon, out.

I swift and sway at every step since I’m not used to carrying quite a heavy load in a long distance walk. I’m holding my pair of flip-flops on the left hand while I have a pile of wood tucked under my right arm. I open my eyes again and look over at Hajime. He looks at ease while carrying a heavier weight than me, like he’s used to it, while Chiaki is carrying as much as me but it seems like she’s not having a troublesome time.

Both of them start a conversation again but their words are coming out like they’re in another language since I’m doing my best at droning them out.

After a while the alien boy is looking at me. I blink at him. It seems like he’s expecting a reaction. I think he just told a joke since the both of them are now smiling at me and giggling. I try my best to laugh, not to sound forced because I don’t want to be the odd one out. So instead of asking them, what they’re laughing about, I just fake it and it goes smoothly.

A couple more minutes pass and I notice the light get dimmer. And right on cue, Hajime speaks.

“Ah, it’s fifteen minutes passed five already. The sun’s about to set.”

“Then we should build the bonfire as soon as we get there. I think.” Chiaki says.

I zip my lips and stay quiet.

As we turn around the corner of the base of the cliff, we finally see my secret cave. My sister suddenly stops in her tracks. I see the back of her head craning upwards, probably looking at the huge dome that nature has carved. 

Hajime looks at her and I see the side of his face with a small frown setting on his lips.

He looks back at me with one of his eyebrows raised and I understand why he’s giving me such a look. He’s probably wondering if it’s the first time Chiaki has seen the place unlike what my journals say. 

I just give him an awkward shrug and he immediately looks back at the cave. I’m glad he doesn’t say anything, because I don’t want Chiaki finding out what I’ve been writing for the past nine years. 

She’d probably freak out and it’d also give her more of a reason to avoid me.

“I never knew a place like this existed on this island.” She says with so much awe, like a little child who’s witnessing their fantasy world coming to life before their very own eyes. “It looks so beautiful.” She starts walking and fastens her pace to walk beside the alien but her eyes don’t leave the natural wonder.

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it myself. If it wasn’t for your brother over here then I probably wouldn’t have seen this.” He says as he continues walking.

Chiaki shifts her gaze from the cave to me and I’m looking right back at her. I feel a cold sweat slide down at the back of my neck because I’m feeling awkward. She’s not saying a single word and I can’t really read what she’s thinking, unlike before when we were brother and sister. Now, it just seems like we are just housemates.

Nothing more.

She turns back at the cave’s mouth and we continue on, pacing through the silence. As we reach the opening, we all set the piles of wood on the rocky floor. The dropping of wood echoes around us as my eyes hit center of the cave where there’s an opening at the top. A diagonal ray of light is hitting the rock wall. It looks like an ethereal beam with particles floating around it.

During the middle of the day, if it was sunny, the light would hit straight at the center of the dome structure, looking like those pillars of light that old movie flying saucers shoot down to capture cows or human beings. I chuckle at the thought of Hajime floating upwards ever so slowly, at the center of a ray of light in the same manner of those old sci-fi flicks, when his alien teachers come to pick him up. That would be kind of ridiculous. 

My creative flow of imagination halts as the slow jog of footsteps echo around the cave. It’s Chiaki, moving to the center. She’s stands under the hole and looks up above with the same wonder she was wearing earlier.

“I thought you could only find places like these in video games.” She says and looks to the both of us while holding up her pink handheld gaming device.

Hajime shrugs. “It’s kind of breathtaking in here, isn’t it?” He says with a small smile. 

Chiaki nods back, with her lips curling upwards.

_Yeah, breathtaking…_

.  
———  
.

The warmth of the crackling fire and the soft sounds of old video game music, while in the company of Hajime and my sister ignites a somewhat complex feeling in me. I can’t put my finger on it but it’s like a feeling of the good old days melding with the hope I have for the upcoming days, forming into one big feeling of a fervor of an array of emotions. 

It’s a very strange kind of sensation. 

Usually, when I’m with the both of them at the same time, my inner thoughts react by building a wall around me. I take it as my subconscious probably trying to cushion me in case my paranoia of them getting together will turn into reality. 

But here I am, sitting on the right side of my sister, while Hajime’s on her left. All our eyes are glued to the screen that my sister’s holding. She presses a combination of buttons with finesse, resulting in her defeating the stage’s boss.

“Wow, that was amazing, Chiaki.” Hajime comments and Chiaki gives a hum as a reply.

Somehow, I feel like the relationship between the three of us has always been meant to be. Like the universe aligned everything to make our meeting possible.

I look up above us, the sparks from the fire are rising, fading as it tries to reach for the stars that’s displayed on the opening of the cave’s ceiling.

It’s a weird thing to say because moments ago I hated it, but now, I find myself enjoying the moment together. 

Maybe, it’s just that I miss my sister. If I don’t do anything and just let our relationship be, will I lose her forever?

A shuffle of clothes break my line of thought. Chiaki switches her device off and the both of us are looking at Hajime who’s standing up and stretching. 

“Ah, I almost forgot.” he says as he looks at me and my sister. “Could you guys wait here for a bit. I’ll be back after around fifteen minutes.”

Before my sister or I could react, he starts jogging out of the cave. Me and Chiaki look at each other and I can already feel the awkwardness starting to dance around the fire.

.  
———  
.

Checking my phone, I realize fifteen minutes have already passed and Chiaki and I are still sitting next to each other in uncomfortable awkwardness. I bag my phone and I grab a twig that’s right beside my foot. I poke the fire with the stray wood, making more glitters of flame flare upwards in the process.

The sound of the cracking fire accompanied by the soft sound of waves usually put me at peace but because of the situation we’re in, it’s not enough to put the unpleasant emotions that’s radiating off me at bay. 

Even the usual chirping of crickets aren’t doing anything for me. It’s all just making everything more awkward.

I close my eyes and breathe out a soft sigh. It’s going to be hell but if I wanted our relationship to start again, like the old days, then I have to make an effort, even though I’ve had a lot of failed attempts in the past. I have to talk to her and it’s now or never.

I hang my mouth open but no words are coming. I slowly close my mouth until I can feel my lips straighten into a thin line. I look at the direction where Hajime ran off to earlier, hoping he’s going to be at the entrance so I have an excuse not to do it.

_Three. Two. One… Bam!_

_Still nothing._

I gulp and turn my head to face my sister.

She looks at me, expecting me to say something. She’s staring at me with a nonchalant expression. 

“I— uhmm…” I stutter.

_Ahh, this is going to end up like a plane crash. I just know it._ I swallow again.

“Do you want to play a game with me and Hajime when we get home?” I say as a start.

She doesn’t say anything, she just turns her head slowly, back to face the dancing flame. 

Although the fire is right in front of us, I feel a kind of cold seeping into my bones. 

My elbows slouch downward and my arms hang on my sides. 

_I have to do this. I need to know why she’s been acting that way in a long time now. I don’t want to lose her._

I bite my lip and all I’m able to spit out is a “Why?” 

It may be a single word, but it’s like a torrent of everything I haven’t said. All of the emotion crashing onto my very soul.

She looks back at me with her pink eyebrows, scrunching together. Her orbs, glistening under the glowing of the bonfire. She stays like that for a while like she’s reading the very script of what I couldn’t say. 

_Why have you been ignoring me all these years?_

_Why don’t you talk to me like the old days?_

_Why can’t you be my sister again?_

I blink at her, watching as the orange light dance on the features of her face. My balled up fist is shaking under the tension.

Everything is under slow motion when her lips part. It hangs open for a while and closes back. Then it opens again. But this time, it’s with words. “What do you mean?”

_Oh, maybe she can’t read me after all. Maybe she’s just as puzzled and scared as me._

My lips quiver as I try my best to say something. “Why’d you leave?” I whisper. The words come as a surprise to me as the walls say it back to us. The words are loud and clear thanks to the acoustics of the cave. It’s like someone else said it and the voice sounded so hurt and confused. 

I think Chiaki was just as surprised as me because she flinches at the question. 

I didn't mean to be so blunt, I didn’t mean to say that right away, I didn’t mean to sound so desperate, sad, and scared but I had to.

She blinks at me and the scrunches between her eyebrows get more pronounced, looking like mountains casting harsh shadows in-between each crease. Her lips are also curved downwards into a frown. That’s the most emotion I’ve seen on her face for the past few years.

“I never did.” she says, a prolonged whisper floating in the air. 

_What does she mean she never did?_ I wanted to scream at her. She left me all alone for all these years. I just want to get up and run out of here. I don’t though. I just look at her, trying my best not to tremble as much.

She huffs out, glancing at the fire with her eyes. “You’re the one who left me.” 

The words don’t reach me right away, but after a few seconds, I absorb it all, stabbing me right into the chest. I wanted to argue, but that would just create more barriers between us. So I’ll listen instead. It’s the only way.

“What do you mean?” I ask, looking at her.

She looks back at me and it’s her turn to tremble. Her lips are quivering and tears are forming in the corner of her eyes. “W-when our parent’s died, it’s just not our parents who l-left. My brother left too. You started ignoring me and you were never there for me.”

Another stab to my chest. This time, the pain pulsates to my whole body.

She blinks and the tears start flowing down her face. I reach over to her, my brother instincts kicking in. She grips my wrist gently before I could wipe the tear away. She lets go as our hands fall ever so slowly, separating.

“I didn’t leave you.” I croak out as I feel hot streams fall down my cheeks. “I was there the whole time.”

Her hair ruffles as she shakes her head. “I tried talking to you, but you ignored me. You spent your whole time locked up in your room. You never came out for the first few weeks after their deaths.” 

Her voice gets a little louder at every end of each statement, emotions spilling from them. “But by the time you were comfortable enough to get out of your room, I thought you were finally going to talk to me or at least apologize. I even set up our games, thinking that we could play together again like the old days, but you never did. Instead you left me all alone. You always went off carrying a notebook and a pen to who knows where. I tried following you one time but I lost you. Uncle Tengan came rushing to me when he found me. He got so mad for me running off but I never told him I just wanted to look for you.” Her voice cracks and dies down as her sobbing takes over.

I never realized what she just said.

I was so deep in my own pain that it made me brush my sister off.

I was so caught up with trying to cope, to stop the pain. It made me forget she was hurting too.

I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her, holding her tight. This time she doesn’t push me away. I cry quietly with her as she hugs me back, her face digging into my shoulder. I feel her tears wet my shirt but I don’t care. I miss this. I miss her.

The sound of crying dies down along with the sound of the fire. We let go of each other and I look into her eyes. “I—“

“I understand how you felt but why did you have to leave me? I needed you and I could have been there for you too, you know?” She says with a frown. “We shouldn’t have suffered all alone.”

“I…” I whisper and her frown subsides a little. “I think I was too pained to let anyone else in. I found a way to cope but it’s something I’m not proud of.” 

I bite my lip at what I’m about to say. It might weird her out but I owe her an explanation. “I created this fantasy world through my writing, forgetting all the pain around me. Everyone was there; mom, dad, you…” I say with my eyes setting down to look at the floor. “I guess I forgot about you and the real world.” I look back up to meet her eyes. “After a while, when the pain was not as agonizing as the first days, I tried taking my time off with all the imagining and creating of this fantasy. I tried talking to you but…“

She opened her mouth. Before she could say anything else, I continue.

“… but I think I was too late. You ignored me after trying to reach out to you but I deserved it all. You were hurt and alone while I was being happy in my own imagination. I was selfish. And I’m really sorry.” I say and another set of tears stream down from my face.

She pulls me into another hug which surprises me. “I’m sorry too. I did the same with videogames and—“ 

I shush her and I tell her it’s okay.

After a while of holding onto each other, she asks “Do you think we can go back to the way we were before?”

“Hopefully, even better” I reply as I pull her out of the hug, my hands still on her shoulders. I give her a reassuring smile and she smiles back at me.

My heart leaps and I feel a weight being lifted.

I missed her smiles.

“It looks like you two are finally getting along.” A voice echoes in the cave.

As I was about to look at person with the familiar voice, a high pitched bark follows.

The boy bends down and let’s go of the puppy that was wrapped around his arms.

The puppy rushes to me and I bend over to carry it. I inspect it as I lift it up into the air.

He’s just like our old dog Yuki, but younger and much smaller and his coat is much whiter.

“He looks so cute.” Chiaki whispers as she pats him, standing right beside me.

I hug the puppy closer to my chest after my sister’s done petting it. I look at Hajime who’s walking towards us.

“What’s this?” I ask.

“He’s yours. Well both yours and Chiaki’s. If you want to keep him that is.” He says with a huge grin.

Tears start to well up in the corner of my eyes again. But this time out of happiness.

“Of course!” My sister says with so much glee.

“But what if Uncle Tengan doesn’t want—“

“I already asked him. He says with would be great for the both of you.” Hajime says, as he stands beside me, petting the dog too.

“Where’d you get him?” Chiaki asks.

“Ah, it’s a long story but to cut it short, I had to make deals with Kuzuryuu.” Hajime says while scratching the back of his neck.

The puppy barks at me and licks my cheek. “H-hey,” I say and everyone laughs.

“So, what are you guys going to name him?”  
My eyes widen. I can’t believe we’re really keeping him. I look over to Chiaki and she just nods at me with a small encouraging smile.

The three of them are looking at me, waiting in anticipation.

I get one good look at the puppy and I look back at them.

They both smile at me as the words left my lips.

“I’ll call him Yoshio.”


	14. Childhood Imaginations

“That’s all I remember.” The sound of my soft voice, swaying in the cool night island-wind, like nature is cradling my words in its arms. “I have no clue why everyone else blamed them for the crash, when it was Uncle Tengan in the first place who was in charge of the illegal operations.” 

I’ve been trying to stand tall, doing my best to not get into another emotional low during our walk back home. But when I mentioned the old man and my parents, and now, as my imagination starts replaying vivid imageries that made up the constant nightmares of my childhood, I can’t keep my composure upright any longer. 

“W-without Uncle Tengan… o-our parents—” My voice cracks, and my words are getting caught up in the back of my throat, leaving me unable to continue.

I bite my bottom lip as my blood starts to simmer. I can almost feel it bubble up under my skin.

As much as I’m grateful for the old man and the things he’s done for us, it seems that the inner voices in my head can’t be silenced. It’s telling me it’s all his fault, that he’s just taking care of me and Chiaki because he’s drowning in guilt and regret, that he has no other choice but to take care of us. 

The whispers and taunts of the voices may be right, but I still feel gratefulness and I still have this kind of care for Uncle Tengan even though the emotion is faint. I know he’s the one who sent our parents to a space mission but he didn’t wish our parents dead. And besides, it was our parents choice. It was their passion for the knowledge of celestial bodies that made them want to go up there and explore and research the unknown. That’s one of the reasons why I hate the heavens. But right now, I’m having second thoughts on the planets, the stars and space itself.

Anyway, I have no right to be angry at the old man. He took the road to become a parent to Chiaki and me after all. He was the one who took care of us since we were seven, and he was the only one who gave me notice and acknowledged my existence aside from Hajime.

I’m pulled out from my thoughts as I feel something yank on my right leg. I look down to check on what might have got caught up on the cuffs of my pants but I see Yoshio. His small, but sharp puppy teeth are sunken into the fabric. He’s trying to get my attention, his tail wagging. 

I smile at the golden ball of fur and reach for him. I carry him around my arms and he licks my cheek. it’s enough to put me at ease.

I look back to both of my companions, their eyes seem to be in a fixed gaze of deep thought—my sister has her neck craning, her head pointing heavenwards, her hand stroking her chin under puffed up rosy cheeks while Hajime’s eyes are darting at the ground like he’s reading a story written on its surface, only for him to see. All the while, each of us are keeping our paces to reach home.

To be honest, I don’t know how we’ve come to talk about what happened years ago. The links of varying topics that started since we were at the cave are too many to count and too lengthy to completely recall. 

“I do agree with what you said but there’s something that remember happening on television. It was really strange, I think.” My sister says, grabbing my full attention. I notice her words pull Hajime’s darting eyes to her as well. Yoshio too, looks at her like he understands what she’s saying and he’s waiting for her to continue speaking.

“Something strange?” the alien boy asks.

“Yeah, you see, the day we saw our parents on the news, I stayed in the living room while Nagito went to his room…” She says. 

Her words bring me back to when we were seven again. The exact time after learning our parents were on that ship. The time when the creation of two worlds started. Each world for each of us, created by us, neither of us included into the other’s—Chiaki’s gaming world, and my own fantasy world. That’s when we stopped being brother and sister.

That’s when everything changed.

What she just said may not have been mentioned to make me feel bad—me leaving her all alone in the living room, not saying a single word to comfort her—but it makes me guilty anyway and it almost reopens the scars that just healed a few moments ago. It’s enough for me to gaze down in shame but I get over the regret right away, reminding myself it’s all over. We’re starting over. So I shut off my thoughts and open my ears instead, so I could listen to what she has to say.

“…I was trying to understand what was going on with what was on television. I recall the whole village protesting in front of the research facility while the town’s officers were trying to calm them down, and all of a sudden a bright red light, like a laser shooting out from the top of the screen, started crawling towards the people…”

I feel my eyebrows meet at the center of my head. _A bright red light? Like a laser?_. I look over at Hajime to see his reaction, to see if he believes in the words that just came out of my sister’s mouth, but he too look confused and said nothing.

“…and as the light touched the first line of the crowd who were surrounding the building, they fell to the floor and lied there like they were sleeping, and the next thing I knew, everyone was on the grass, none of them were moving.”

My eyes widen even more at the continuation of the story. _A laser that put them to sleep?_ I have no right to judge her since I’ve had my fair share of fantasies, but this whole ordeal sounded totally absurd, even for me.

“A red light that put them to sleep huh?” Hajime says, scratching his head. Yoshio tilts his head, looking at him.

“Yeah, and that’s not the strangest thing. After watching the news for a few more seconds, I looked outside the window to where the research facility was, I saw the same red light that was on tv. It was crawling towards the parameter of the whole island, like Jabberwock was being scanned by a huge scanner. The light was a few inches away from the house so I ran towards the corner of the room away from the window, but I remember the red light passing through the walls at an angle. It touched my feet until it crawled upwards nearing my face. I closed my eyes as I anticipated falling unconscious like those people on t.v. but when I opened them, the light was gone. The whole thing was like a very vivid dream but I’m sure it was real. I think…”

“Are you sure you didn’t imagine it all? I mean it could be your mind playing tricks on you.” I say.

“Tricks?”

“Yeah, as much as I want to believe you, but considering the laser thing happening right after finding out our parents were gone, I think it’s just all the pent up stress and pain. I mean, we were kids that didn’t know how to handle the feelings of losing our parents. It could have been all in your head.”

If I were to be honest, I didn’t want to dismiss it as just that, but it doesn’t make sense. I mean, a light that made people fall asleep that had the capabilities of passing through walls? This isn’t some sci-fi story, this is real life… well… there’s Hajime being from outer space, but that’s different.

“Well, I do agree with your points but it was just so real… I’m sure of it. But, what about you? haven’t you seen anything suspicious that day?”

I shake my head. All I remember was—after learning that the crash was that of my parent’s ship—I ran to my room, hid under the covers and started writing my first journal entry, holding a mini flashlight with my mouth. If she says, the light could pass through anything, then I would have seen the light under my covers.

“Well, what do you make of it, Hajime?” She says. And I look over to the brunette who hasn’t said anything yet. He’s just there, tapping his chin with his index finger.

I check on Yoshio who’s comfortably hanging from my arms. He has his eyes closed and his breaths are getting softer.

“Do you remember the source of the light?” He asks.

“No, I don’t. I was too afraid to take the time to look… sorry.”

“Is it really possible? A laser that somehow makes everyone fall unconscious but for some magical reason, Chiaki gets hit by the same light but nothing happens to her.” I ask him. Maybe he knows what that thing is so it can erase my doubt.

Hajime doesn’t say anything but he looks at me with an expression that I can’t completely decipher.

I turn back to my sister. “Let’s just say the laser thing did happen. Do you think it has something to do with Uncle Tengan getting away with the illegal operations of a space facility and the rocket crash?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m getting at.” She says with puffed up cheeks and determination lingering in her eyes. “As farfetched as it may sound it could possibly be a good reason to believe the laser maybe manipulated everyone’s thinking. Somehow…”

I look back at the alien boy, and as I’m about to speak a yawn from Yoshio interrupts me. I look back down at the puppy and another yawn follows, but this time it’s not from Yoshio, but the sound came from my sister. 

“Sleepy…” she says, rubbing her eyes with her sleeves.

“I’m not sure if what Chiaki said is factual but I think it’s best if we talk about this another time.” Hajime says.

“What, why?” I try to protest at the sudden stop of the topic.

He looks at me then to what’s in front of him, making me turn to face what he’s looking at.

“Oh.”

It’s our house, sitting there a few meters away, and Uncle Tengan's most likely to be home. 

_Good call._ We might accidentally mention something we don't want him to hear.

“Okay then,”

 

.  
———  
.

My pen drops on my wooden bedroom desk as my arms shoot up into into the air; stretching my tense muscles lose. A yawn escapes my lips as I pour all the tiredness of the day’s activities out of my system. My eyes reopen—teary and drowsy—as I take one final look at the work I did under that’s shining under the bright white glow of my study lamp. Some of the words are smeared under the light giving off a color that’s camouflaged with the paper but I don’t have to look twice to know everything I’ve written is their. 

I close the book with a huff as I blink a couple of times. A smile appears on my lips that’s directed at the journal that’s under the cup of my hands.

Who would have thought that I’d be this happy writing about the things that’s been going on with my life? Real, factual events.

With the motor skills of a slug, I turn my head to look at someone who’s comfortably curled up on the foot of my bed. Another smile creeps up on my face, even though I don’t have the energy left to even lift up a single finger.

This time, I turn my body so I can look directly behind me. It seems to be that not everyone in my room is that desperate to fill the craving for the sweet feeling of sleep because other than me and the puppy, the alien boy has his green tinted eyes staring at the ceiling. They’re wide open looking like full bright planets and a thought pops up into mind; I wouldn't mind staring at those pair of orbs with a telescope for the rest of my life.

“Hey,” I whisper. My voice coming out hoarse.

“Hm?” He shifts his green worlds to me so it appears in full circles. 

“What’s wrong? thinking about what my sister said?”

“Not right now, but my minds wandering on the Kamukura Project.”

“The talent thing?”

He nods and looks back up at my bedroom’s ceiling.

I think for a moment before a questions hits me. “How dangerous is it?” I frown.

“Well, I don’t really know the details but basically they’ll be tampering with the chip that’s in my head.” He says and he taps his index finger on his temple three times. “I guess the worst that could happen is a huge headache I guess.” He laughs and my frown gets deeper.

“What if somethings goes wrong? Isn’t it dangerous?”

“Dangerous?”

“Well yeah, like you said, the chip’s on your brain after all.”

He shrugs. “I’d probably be dead, but I trust them. I know it’s hard to think about tampering with the brain but you also have to remember, we have technology you haven’t seen before.”

“Why do you want talents in the first place? Is it that important to you?”

He looks back up at me, and those orbs of his are searching my soul that’s making me feel naked, like he’s searching for something. “It is. No one back in my planet would acknowledge me if I stay average.”

I see something flash in his eyes.

Pain.

But something else flashed along with it. Is it determination? 

He may be right about me not knowing about technology and I know he’s a being that isn’t from my planet but he isn’t some kind of superhuman, he seems to be like a normal person to me, he’s just as fragile as anyone in this world. And I know it, because I’ve been by his side everyday for more than a month but it feels like I’ve already been with him for years.

I just don’t want him to get hurt.

“You aren’t average. You’re pretty amazing, Hajime. You’ve done great things, not just for me but for the people around you. You’ve managed to turn my whole life around and I can say the same for my sister.” I smile at the reconciliation me and my sister had just a few moments ago. If I have never met him I’d probably still be quiet, alone, hopeless. “And I’m sure I’m speaking for everyone when I say that we’re all thankful to have you in our lives. Chiaki, Kazuichi, Fuyuhiko, Uncle Tengan, Me.” 

I look at him with so much intensity I can muster so I can convince him he doesn’t need some kind of artificial talent to become the amazing person he thinks he’ll become. He’s already given so much hope to others, and especially to me and I think that’s amazing in on itself. 

“You know, you always manage to sound so corny.” he says.

I feel my cheeks warm up like a bonfire and my body slumps but i manage to say, “I-it’s true though.”, with another smile.

“Whatever.” He shifts his body, making his back face me so that he’s facing the wall. 

My smile brightens not because of his reply but because I managed to get a glimpse of his cheeks tinting a shade of pink and a small smile plastered on his face before it turned into a fake frown.

I switch the lamp off and my eyes slowly adjust to the darkness. “You don’t need those talents, Hajime.”

I get up and I slowly crawl into bed, not wanting to wake Yoshio from his dreams.

Before I tuck myself in, I add “You know, you can always stay with us. You don’t need all those Kamukura talents of yours to be accepted here.”, with a sly smile.

“You already know the deal if I stay here. But I’ll keep my promise, I’ll pay you and your sister a visit again one day.” He says.

I knew he was going to say that. 

_I know I can’t have everything but I’m really looking forward to your promise, Hajime._

I hold the green stone he’s given me that’s resting on my chest and I press it in between my fingers. “Okay. I’ll be waiting.” I say.

I pull the covers on top of me making Yoshio shift. 

_Oops._

I feel him get up and moves to nest himself into a ball on the curve of my legs and I hear him give off a contented breath.

“Hey, Hajime.” I whisper.

“Hm?”

“I forgot. Thank you for Yoshio.”

“It’s not me who you should thank. Souda and Fuyuhiko did most of the work, so you should thank them tomorrow.” He says. 

Even though I can’t see the brunette in the darkness of my room, I could feel his words were said through curled up lips. The fact that Souda and Fuyuhiko doing something for me makes my lips curl up too.

“Thank you.” I still manage to whisper before I fall into dreamland.

Thank you, because you’ve managed to get me out of my fantasy world so I could enjoy my real life and make something out of it, because you’ve helped me and my sister be seven again, because you’ve managed to bring people into my life, because you’ve given me a lot of things that I could have never dreamed of having: friendship, happiness and hope.

Thank you for everything.


	15. Turn of Luck

Who knew a guy like me would end up like those supermarket-sold packed sardines? You know, the ones that come in one of those small tins you pop open like a can of soda.

I’m not speaking in a literal sense, of course. 

You see, I’m not surrounded by those slippery little things at all, but instead, I’m actually squeezed in tight with real live people.

Yes, people.

But it’s not like I’m complaining or anything. 

Usually, I know I’d probably be loving the feeling of this claustrophobic situation just like how Fuyuhiko would love to be called “little baby boy”, but surprisingly—with all sarcasm aside—I actually DO find this feeling to my liking. 

Maybe, this time, it’s because I’m not in unwanted physical contact with random strangers but for once in my life, I’m actually packed in a circle of people that I can call friends. 

Being surrounded by them is somehow making me carefree and it’s making my chest warm inside. It’s like I finally belong in a group of people, like I’m not an outcast or a loner anymore.

But more importantly, that’s not the reason why I’m feeling elated at the moment or why my entire body is surging with enormous amounts of endorphins. 

The calm feeling I’m getting is from being surrounded by friends. Sure. But this energy of excitement is not exactly because of them. 

The main reason why I’m in a state of thrill, why I can’t get a hold of myself, why my soul is bouncing up and down in its seat, is because I’m right next to Hajime! 

But don’t get me wrong. It’s not just that. We are seated so close to each other that we are basically hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder like two batteries parallel to each other, packed in tight in a child’s toy. And to top it all of, I am oh so grateful to the heavens, because today, of all days, I accidentally left my favorite green jacket at home. Which means, I have the license to brush my bare arm against Hajime’s bare arm the whole time.

Plus, it wouldn’t be too suspicious of me at all, since everyone’s squished together like those packed goods of the sea. No one would look my way with a questioning stare or a cocked up eyebrow.

And besides, I don’t think the alien boy notices my breaching of personal space since It’s been five minutes straight that our arms have been touching like it’s been glued together all this time. He’s too busy being irritated by Kazuichi’s adamant admiration speech on how good of a person Sonia is, even though she always manages to stab the pink haired boy’s heart by shutting him down every time he tries to woo her. 

But there’s something bothering me. I’m wondering why I somehow feel that Hajime’s reciprocating my touch by pushing his arm against mine. Not to mention, our legs have been bumping each other too many times to be called accidents. And just to mention, most of those bumps are not because of me.  
But then again, we’re using a table that’s meant to sit four people so I don’t let the idea get to my head. It just might be my imagination toying with me. And besides, I don’t want to end up like Kazuichi who has too much of his hope invested in a future marriage with Sonia. That’d take a miracle to happen. 

Sorry, Kazuichi.

But even the chances of Hajime liking me back is slim, thank luck that I get to feel like a sardine today.

Anyway, I’m glad that we all got to sit together in a group like this. I mean, me sitting along with my sister and five of our friends, eating lunch together, is too much of a positive development for my social life. Given that it happened in a short amount of time too, I’m surprised that all this unbelievable good-luck has been happening. It must be all because of this alien boy. I mean, my luck has changed ever since he got here. 

Or maybe… it could be the necklace he gave me. It must be some kind of lucky charm!

I’m sorry I ever doubted this mystic stone being plastic.

I reach for the green space-mineral and twiddle it between the fingers of my free hand. I give a small smile making sure to not make my happiness visible to the rest of the group. They’d probably think I’m crazy if they see me grinning like an idiot.

But whatever reason for the abrupt change of my luck, I hope things don’t start crumbling to the ground again. 

I let go of the necklace and look around the table to see each of my companions’s faces, taking in the whole situation as if it’s all going to vanish after a blink of an eye. 

The first person I look at is a bored out of his mind Hajime who’s gritting his teeth, probably because of Kazuichi. I sure hope his irritation isn’t because he’s squished up against me. 

My eyes then wander to a fuming Fuyuhiko. It looks like he’s trying his best to stop himself from bashing the shark-boy’s head in. 

Next to the gangster is an overexcited Kazuichi who—for the seventh time today—is non-stop gushing on about the _perfection_ of his life, that is Sonia and her beloved ways. 

Across from him is Ishimaru who is giving a long and passionate speech of his own. If I remember his words from earlier, it has something to do with the importance of the educational system and how gaming can ruin your performance or something like that. I decided to mute him out earlier, after realizing my situation with Hajime. But weird enough, even though no one seems to be paying attention to him, he’s still speaking with so much zeal that I can see a battle between his own words against Kazuichi’s. It’s a miracle neither of them is bothered by each other’s loudness. 

My eyes roam to the next person and I see the girly looking guy, Chihiro, with all his concentration directed at my sister’s gaming device. 

And lastly my gaze lands on the person who’s sitting across from me, my sister. She has her eyes glued—yet again—to her infamous pink handheld gaming device (something that she can’t be caught without). I smile at her even though she isn’t looking.

Who knew we’d get close again after nine years of giving each other the cold shoulder.

I breathe out a happy sigh and grab a piece of fish with my chopsticks and plop the protein into my mouth. After which, I purposefully but inconspicuously rest my arm right beside the alien boy’s again. I make sure to chew a little bit longer than usual so I don’t have to leave the warmth that is Hajime’s arm.

Ah, yes. Nothing can ruin this perfect little moment of mine.

I get another piece of meat with my chopsticks but before I could take another bite, I notice Hajime’s shoulder tense up against mine.

My eyes grow wide at the sudden sharp movement. 

I check if he’s finally realized my top secret plan of arm touching. 

As my head turns towards him, my lips quiver as it readies to barrage him with apologies, but I stop the words from leaving my mouth because he’s obviously not concerned with the arm pressing and the leg brushing. He has his saucer-green-eyes directed somewhere else which means I’m not the reason why he suddenly turned to stone. It seems like he’s fixated with something that’s within the crowd of the school canteen. 

I try to find what he’s looking at, squinting to make sure I don’t miss what caused him to tense up like this. After zigzagging my eyes from corner to corner of the canteen a couple of times, I finally spot something familiar and I immediately regret finding out what made Hajime a statue.

I blink a couple of times just to make sure my vision isn’t betraying me. The thing doesn’t disappear and now I’m finally certain that what I’m looking at isn’t an illusion. My jaw hangs open and I turn to solid stone right beside the alien.

I feel the weight of the seafood my hands are carrying slide down my chopsticks. The piece of fish flops back to my plate like it’s is alive again, trying to escape its fate—my stomach. But now that I’m made of stone, I don’t think I’ll have the appetite to continue eating.

The buzzing of admiration about the blonde princess stops and I hear a “What are you guys looking at” directed towards me and Hajime. The voice sounds whiny and offended. “You’re going to miss the best part of my story.” 

“Huh?” I hear my sister say. 

The other source of noise stops too and I assume it’s because the owner of the voice is perplexed as to what we are looking at.

With my peripheral vision, I notice Chiaki let go of her pink gadget for the first time during this whole lunch period and she turns her head to what me and Hajime’s looking at.

“Hey, didn’t you guys hear me? I said, what are you guys looking at?” Kazuichi continues to whine.

“Could you possibly be looking at that?” Chiaki says.

I see her point to the cob of hair that’s sticking out on top of the crowd of heads like a shark’s fin piercing through a blanket of seawater. I’d recognize that hairstyle from a mile away.

I just nod at her, afraid that I’d alert the predator if I make a sudden noise.

“Tch, it looks like he’s back.” I hear Fuyuhiko say beside Hajime.

“Who?” Kazuichi asks.

The hair finally emerges form the bed of students and I can finally see the face that’s been haunting my dreams for the past weeks. His eyes instantly hit mine and I feel a thousand suns burn me with his fiery gaze. He looks beyond pissed. His nostrils flare up like they always do—reminding me of his gorilla-likeness—and he directs his death stare to everyone else on the table probably because he finally finds his companions sitting with the “ _enemy_ ”—me.

“Oh… Now, I see…” Kazuichi says. And it seems that his whiney voice is replaced with a ‘ _I think I know what’s coming and I should pack my bags and move to the moon._ ’ kind of tone to his voice.

We all gulp in unison except for Chiaki, Chihiro and Ishimaru.

The shark gorilla takes an empty table but he makes sure not to look away from ours. He scoops up some food and shoves it in his mouth, grinding it mercilessly without letting go of his death glare.

“What’s the matter?” Chiaki says and I look at her.

“It’s Mondo.” Hajime says before I could tell her myself.

“Mondo?”

“The guy who’s been bullying your brother.” Chihiro interjects me with his meek voice. He says it like it’s a known fact of the universe.

I feel heat spark my cheeks from humiliation. He didn’t have to say it like it’s worldly common sense that everyone should know about.

“Uhh…” Chiaki says.

_Well, except for my sister. She always has this staring contest with her gaming devices everyday and she always ends up winning since the battery always dies before she even has the chance to blink. So I guess it makes sense for her not to know what’s going on around her._

“This is exactly what I was just talking about. Gaming is nothing but a distraction.” Ishimaru gives my sister a scolding look and she looks back at him with sleepy eyes. “It’s distracting you from your education and it’s distracted you from your relationship with your brother.”

She responds by blinking.

“Actually, Chiaki has always had straight A’s since she was in grade school.” Chihiro says.

Ishimaru’s eye twitches and his jaw hangs open slightly.

“Gaming has never distracted me from my studies… I think.” Chiaki says and looks at me with puffed up cheeks. “But the latter may be true.” She declares and proceeds to apologize to me by bowing and saying countless sorrys.

“Ah, Chiaki, don’t worry about it.” I say. 

Even if she did take notice earlier on, it’s not like she could have done anything anyway. Maybe she’d tell Uncle Tengan but that would put me in a worse position than I already am in right now. So I’m kind of glad she was oblivious about me being bullied the entire time.

“Since when did he start with the bullying anyway?” Hajime asks with a raised eyebrow and a not so happy expression.

“Uhhh…. Are you talking about Mondo?” I say, stalling, not wanting him to find out because: one, it’s humiliating, and two, He’d probably get upset with me for not telling him, or he’d probably get mad since I haven’t done anything to make the gorilla-shark, unicorn-haired biker to stop bullying me. (Well, I did once, and it didn't turn out well for me.)

“Since grade school.” Chihiro chirps

_God, I’m starting to hate Chihiro._

“Wait, what!? You’ve been bullied by him since you were little?” Hajime says, with his eyebrows so close together—it’s as close as we both are right now and it’s making me feel uncomfortable (surprisingly) and I’m tingling with fear because it’s the angriest I’ve ever seen him.

This is exactly why I didn't want him to know. I can almost imagine him shaking me with his hands gripping my shoulders, asking me ‘Why didn’t you tell me? Why have you never even tried to defend yourself so all this would never have happened?’

The thing is, he’d never understand and he doesn't know what that crazy biker-wannabe is capable of.

“I… uh…” I try to think of something but Hajime’s anger and our proximity is making me sweat even more than earlier. It’s also making me jitter like an old bell alarm clock.

“That is correct and it’s quite unfortunate. I’ve actually noticed ever since we were in the third grade.” Ishimaru says. “I tried stopping Mondo’s juvenile behavior quite a few times but he never took my advice.” He looks at me with an apologetic look. “That’s why I took it upon myself to end our conversing, and that’s when I started hanging out with these two.” He looks to Chihiro and my sister. “It’s too bad. We really had a strong bond. But something confuses me. May I ask the both of you something?”

Hajime directs his head towards Ishimaru making me able to breathe. We both give a small nod in response.

“Why are upstanding students like yourselves in association with Nagito’s oppressors?” He says, looking at me and Hajime with stern but confused eyes.

“Opressors?” Hajime and I say in unison.

Ishimaru glances at the two people sitting next to Hajime.

“Hey!” Both Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi shout in unison.

“It’s not like we ever ‘ _oppressed_ ’ him.” Kazuichi complains, his hand gestures towards me.

Both Chihiro and Ishimaru fold their arms and cock up an eyebrow.

“Well, we just called him names and stuff. But we never assaulted him. Right, Nagito?” The pink-haired boy continues

As I was about to remind them about the time Mondo kicked me in the face Fuyuhiko overtakes me.

“That’s damn right. Kazuichi and I never wanted to hurt Nagito in the first place. We were just messing with him by calling him names and dunking his hair in the toilet.” The gangster says.

_Uhh, but isn’t that abuse?_

“We’ve never gone far enough to really beat Nagito up. It’s Mondo who almost went batshit crazy the other time when he dragged Nagito by the hair to the restroom and—“

“He did what!?” Hajime says, almost shouting “What did you guys do!?”. Hajime flares up even more and I don’t know whether to be scared or to be flattered that he’s getting upset over the things they did to me.

“He, uhh… ahh… We…” Kazuichi says nervously twirling his fingers. His eyes begin to bulge with panic.

“Don’t worry about it. We didn’t do anything stupid. Mondo almost went overboard though, but I guess he just wanted to scare Nagito.” Fuyuhiko says. 

_Yeah right… that’s what they think. Mondo is something special, I’m sure he’d kill me if it was legal._

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. We’re going to do our damn best to make it up to you.” Fuyuhiko says, looking at me with determination in his stern eyes. “We’re done being affiliated with Mondo. We didn’t know he’d go overboard the time when he punched the hell out of Haji—“

I see Hajime grind his teeth into fine dust but before he could say anything else Kazuichi speaks up.

“Don’t you worry pal.” He laughs nervously. “We’ll make sure nothing happens to our friend Nagito over here.” The pink haired boy says. He stands up on his side of the table and reaches over my left shoulder making the four of us even closer.

Now that my cheek’s touching Hajime’s face I can feel him fuming like burning coals. Again, I don’t know whether I should be happy that I get to be closer to him or if I should just be scared out of my mind.

I look passed my sister, Chihiro, and Ishimaru—who are looking worried— over to Mondo. It seems like he’s halfway through with his food and it looks like he hasn’t even blinked once.

I gulp and dart my eyes to the canteen clock. Fifteen minutes before the next period starts.

I don’t know what’s going to happen now that Mondo’s back, but first thing’s first, we need to calm Hajime down first before he does something we might all regret.

.  
———  
.

After being barraged by more of Hajime’s questions and life lessons—which reminded me of Uncle Tengan’s sermons— and after telling Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko that he’d send them flying into space for all eternity if they laid a finger on me again (which I’m sure I’m the only one who took what he said in a literal sense) he managed to lower his temper… but only for a bit. 

He tried approaching Mondo once the bell signaled the end of lunch period, but it was a good thing everyone in our table managed to stop him.

With more good luck knocking on my door, the nut-job wasn’t in any of my afternoon classes today. I don’t know what Hajime would have done to the gorilla-unicorn, if he was there. 

Even though Hajime has a kind of athletic physique It’s hard to think the alien boy as someone who’d start fist fights with someone else. 

Anyway, I don’t even think he’d stand a chance if a fight started between the both of them, unless of course, he has some secret alien weapon hidden in his pocket or something.

But right now, Im glad because Hajime got his cool and common sense back. I don’t want him ending up with another bruise on the cheek, or probably even getting something worse this time.

I look over to the alien boy who has this calm but cautious look to his face. I begin to imagine him with all sorts of cuts and bruises but I shake it off because of the discomfort I feel. I look to my sister instead and she has her gaming device held to her face while she’s walking. She doesn’t look too disturbed.

_Am I the only one who’s panicky right now?_

I mean, It’s been a few hours since lunch and we’re safely heading home in a different path than the usual route we take but I still have this nagging feeling that something is about to happen. The way may take longer to travel but it’s safer. I guess.

And just to even take more precaution, we chose to stay in school for a little bit longer before we left the premises to ensure the chances of seeing the brute to be much smaller.

Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko and the rest had to leave earlier than us since they said they had homework to do which is making me worried for them. 

What if Mondo ambushed them or something? And now, he may be looking for us.

I hear a snapping sound and it sends a cold breeze at the base of my spine. I pause for a bit, then I realize it was either Hajime or Chiaki stepping on a twig. Before I move another foot forward, I feel my gut clench again. It’s one of those instinctive adrenaline rush kind of moments that you can’t really explain, wherein you don’t even know what to do.

I twiddle my necklace hoping that good luck will come my way. I chant the words ‘it’s going to be fine, we’re gonna make it home’ over and over again in my head.

I get my pace back and look at the straight path ahead of us. 

It looks peaceful.

“See Nagito, nothing to worry about”. I tell myself in my head and proceed to gulp.

But just like the twig snapping in half moments ago, I hear something that makes me jump. Something hitting the tree that’s a few feet away from us echoes in the forest.

We all stop dead in our tracks and I see a huge piece of shiny wood move behind a tree.

“Did you see that?” I whisper

Hajime raises his hands, signaling for us to not do anything rash.

I see the wood swing downwards and I hear another heavy clunk. I take a few steps closer to get a better look at the object and I feel Hajime’s hand grip my arm.

“What are you doing?” He whispers.

I squint my eyes and I see that the wood isn’t just an ordinary piece of wood. No. It’s a baseball bat.

Another clunk and we all step backwards. 

I feel my sense of flight kicking in. All I want to do is run and never look back but I can’t leave Hajime and my sister behind.

“Was waiting for you guys…” A calm but manic voice echoes behind the tree. A mad chortle follows.

The owner of the voice walks out from behind the tree and finally shows himself.

It’s Mondo wearing a crazy smile and he’s carrying wooden bat.

“It’s about time you got here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Thank you all for waiting! But now that chapter 15 is up I’m sad to announce that we are almost to the end of this story. (probably 3 - 5 chapters more? but don’t expect those numbers to be final) 
> 
> I’d also just like to say I’m grateful that you guys gave this story a chance. Thank you for continuing to read even though my updates have been really slow lately. I can’t say if the next chapter will take less time to post but I can assure you guys that I’ll be finishing this fic. 
> 
> And to give you all an update, I know I’ve announced a few months ago that I’m going to be posting concept art about this story but it may take longer than expected. I’ve been working on my art for a while now but I can’t say that it’s in a good enough standard for me to be confident enough to post them. But please do check out my tumblr and follow me if you want to see those future artworks I have in mind, or you can check out my pixel animation and edits here (https://ahogeadventures.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can pm me if you have any questions or if you want to tell me anything under the sun or if you just want someone to chat with.Again, I’m open to criticism and opinions so don’t be shy leaving comments on how I’m doing or how you’re finding the story. 
> 
> Also please watch out for my future fics. I have four in mind (three dark ones and one of them is as light and has a similar style to this fic) but I don’t know what I’m going to post next or if I’m even committed to finishing them in the first place. (I don’t even know if I’ll finish my Oumahina story if you guys have read it)
> 
> Anyways, see you guys on the next chapter and thank you!


	16. Game Over

It’s dizzying… this feeling. 

The feeling of the world getting smaller. 

The feeling of having no control over what’s about to happen next. 

The feeling that you’re about to lose your life and you know you’re unable to do anything else but accept what’s coming to you. 

And this feeling is all caused by the person that’s standing right in front of me. 

The person that has my life in the palm of his hand and a baseball bat in the other.

Mondo.

.  
———  
.

The leaves start flying past me as the afternoon island breeze sweeps its way towards the path I just traveled on. 

It’s as if mother nature herself’s directing me back towards safety, telling me which direction to take so I can bolt as far away from this thug as possible. 

It would be a solid plan but there’s only one problem… I can’t run.

With the current physical endurance I possess, I don’t think I’ll be able to outpace him. I don’t think I’m even capable of getting as far as a few meters away from him, especially now that I can sense him anticipating my next move, readying himself to attack the second I take my eyes off of him. 

But what else is there for me to do? What other choice do I have? 

One thing’s for certain though: I can't just stand here frozen. It’ll cost me my life.

Without thinking as my flight instinct revs up even more, I move my leg backwards, the leaves crunching beneath my boot like the sound of breaking bones. Regret quickly slaps some sense into me, making me realize the mistake I just made that may have cost me a chance to escape, because now, the brute is galloping towards me.

I try to turn and run but I’m ensnared by the lack of confidence in my athletic ability. Instead, I do the only thing I can do—I watch.

Three more big strides, I blink, and suddenly the attacker’s swift movement slows in pace. And it’s not just Mondo, everything else starts moving like a slow motion scene in an action film—the orange leaves falling, casting small dancing shadows on the ground caused by the late afternoon light, the smooth swaying of the tree branches, the birds flying towards the sky (probably sensing that an act of brutality is about to take place).

Is this how it feels before you reach your life’s end? Watching the whole scene play before you before the one big crescendo to end it all? In my case, A bat wielding classmate charging towards me. 

Don’t I get to have replays of good memories, or any last happy thoughts or even the gut wrenching regrets of my unfulfilled things in life? 

All I see in my head is a huge WHY?

Mondo takes another big step, (finally reaching a proximity to be able to hit me with his wooden weapon) he twists his upper body and stretches his arm back, ready to deliver a lethal strike to my temple.

I get that he’s angry but I don’t understand why he has always hated me.

I give Mondo’s enraged face one last look before I say goodbye.

Why has it gone to a point of wanting to wield a bat at me?

I see the bat inching closer to my face, about to make contact with my skull. I squint a little as I anticipate the hit.

The piece of wood continues its course, but like a miracle given to me by the universe, my head is somehow moving backwards, away from the swing.

As I’m sure the hit was about to give the blow to end my life, the bat ends up short by a few inches from the bridge of my nose.

And just like that, everything around me is at full intense speed again.

I stumble backwards and hear a woman shriek from beside me. I look over to where the voice is coming from and I see an oh-so-familiar shade of pink.

“WHAT THE FUCK NAGITO!?” I hear another voice from behind, and it finally registers. 

I’m not alone. 

I feel Hajime’s hand grip me like an iron chain clamped tight to my wrist. He must have pulled me back right on time before the attack could have claimed my life.

“WHAT ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE FOR? WATCH OUT!” he shouts even louder and he lets go of my arm. He pushes me back up to regain my balance.

I see another swing coming down, and this time there’s no alteration of time. The attack is swift but Hajime and I are able to dodge it by the last second.

The wooden weapon strikes the ground with a loud thud, making pieces of dirt fly in all directions.

I take the opportunity to move backwards, away from the bat wielding bully.

“What do you want from me!?” I shout at him. It’s my turn to be furious but my voice is filled more with panic than anger. “Is it because I got you suspended?”

Mondo doesn’t answer with words instead he answers with another swing at me. 

Thank luck because I duck my head on time but my movement causes me to lose balance. I try to take another step backwards but it isn’t enough to get out off his range.

I gulp while Mondo lifts his weapon ready for another attack. This time, without Hajime to pull me away from danger, I’m sure the piece of wood is going to hit me.

As Mondo tightened his veiny hands on the handle, ready to drop it on my head, Hajime latches on the brute’s arm on time, preventing him to damage my skull.

“Just run, Nagito!” Hajime shouts, still hanging on Mondo’s arm. 

The brute sneers at this and pushes the alien boy aside with ease, like Hajime’s just a seven year old kid.

The thug fixes his gaze on Hajime and raises both of his arms with a another mighty grip on his bat.

I feel my eyes widen and words automatically come spilling out of my mouth. “HEY!… i-it’s me that you want r-right?” I stutter.

The words cause him to pause, right at the last second. He looks at me with huge round eyes. The corners of his lips lift up, forming a wide grin. “Don’t worry. You’ll get your turn.” He says.

He raises the bat higher and Hajime closes his eyes and lifts his hand towards the sky. As Mondo was about to crack open the alien’s skull, a pink blur flies towards the brute’s forehead.

With one big thump the object lands on the ground and Mondo starts screaming in agony. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!?”

He grips his forehead and blood starts dripping down his hands.

“Hajime, get back!” I hear my sister shout.

The alien boy kicks the ground as he stumbles backwards, moving as far away from Mondo as possible. He gets up and makes his way towards me.

Chiaki looks at me and nods before making a run for the woods.

As I was about to shout at her for heading towards the opposite direction from us, Hajime grabs a hold of my arm and forces me to go his way. “Come on!” He says as he stares right into my eyes. I look over towards Chiaki and I give out a silent sigh. 

I can’t leave her alone. What if the bat wielding maniac would get to her first? Who knows what he would do to her.

“It’s us that Mondo wants. Your sister’s gonna be fine.” Hajime reassures me like he just read my mind. I look back into his eyes, unsure of his words but I nod anyway, wanting to get out of here.

I give the dizzied Mondo a quick look and my gaze fixes onto the pink object that’s lying on the ground right in front of him. It’s my sister’s gaming gadget and the screen has a huge crack down the center but it’s still lighting up and still in-game. The brute grunts as the feint announcement of “game over” is hanging in the air with the accompaniment of the annoying game soundtrack. It’s as if the pink device is mocking him.

I feel the pull of Hajime, and my feet follow as he leads me into the forest.

And with one last glance before looking to where I’m being led to, I make sure my sister is gone and safe in the woods.

Maybe with them, I can escape this mess after all.

Mondo raises his bat and slams the weapon down onto the PSP. And that’s the last thing I see before entering into the safe embrace of Mother nature’s arms.


End file.
